TODAY IS
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 17, 2020
AND WE’RE WAITING TO SEE MORE PICTURES OF TRUMP’S CHEERING CROWDS AT SUNDAY’S DAYTONA 500…

…On Trump’s 1123rd Day In Office (Still With None Of Obama’s Political Perps In The Slammer)

Presidents’ Daze

Yesterday, at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane said the proper spelling for today’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day,” like they use at The Fishwrap.”

Since then, we’ve only seen it spelled wrong about a million times, especially in advertisements by companies which should know better, like Macy’s, Toyota, and the Onion Store, (that wants you to fill your life with trivial crap from the past on this “President’s Day.”) Maybe it’s just a really big accident when somebody actually spells “Presidents’ Day” correctly.

But now The Blower’s presidential historian Dorian Grady says, “In a way, ‘President’s Day’ could also be correct.

Because according to the federal government, the holiday being observed today is officially “Washington’s Birthday.”

But which president is being honored may actually depend on where you live, because states don’t have to adopt federal holidays, which only shut down federal offices and agencies, and some states that celebrate Washington’s Birthday also recognize Lincoln’s Birthday as a separate legal holiday.

All those “Not-My-Presidents’ Day” Rallies that the Destroy Trump Media promised turned out to be a big Nothing-burger.

Meanwhile, many dumbed-down Americans believe today’s holiday is now called “Presidents’ Day,” in honor of both Washington and Lincoln, who were born on February 22 and 12 respectively, which doesn’t exactly explain why the Hamilton County RINO Party chose March 14 for its 2019 Lincoln-Reagan Dinner.

And this year, Our Clermont Cronies will be holding their Dueling Lincoln Reagan Day Dinner versus “Mean Jean Schmidt’s All You Can Eat Pizza Event” on Friday.

And what would keep Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane be attending either of those events? Maybe he’ll be accepted another invitation to Mar-A-Lago.