LAST YEAR IT WAS TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2014         

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers

 With his latest poll numbers in the crapper, I bet Obama’s glad Election Day today isn’t a do-over of the 2012 elections. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus

On this date in 1948, Tom Dewey woke up to discover he had not been elected president like the Chicago newspaper said. How do you think Obama’s going to feel on Wednesday? —Hurley the Historian 

Republicans really got what they wanted this year. Unfortunately, Indecision 2014 is a referendum on Obama’s Incompetence, and ours. —Harry Reid and his Disingenuous DemocRATS in the Senate

Mitt Romney says today may be the last chance for voters to pass judgment on Obama in a National Election, but we still have 808 days left remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term (unless he’s impeached). —Obama Supporters in the Press

You mean he really doesn’t get to run again in 2016? —Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice

When you ask which is worse about this year’s elections (voters’ ignorance or apathy), we say we don’t know and we don’t care. —People Who Just Might Forget to Go to the Polls

That’s why we chose Winston Churchill’s “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” —Your Quote for Today Committee

That’s why we’re not exactly expecting a record turnout on Tuesday, and despite all the fighting over early voting, there’s little evidence it significantly increases turnout. In the past decade, as the availability and popularity of early voting has grown, turnout hasn’t changed much, but the costs have really gone through the roof. —Hamilton County Board of Elections

And just to cut down on the possibility of long lines at the polls tomorrow, they could always schedule an extra voting day for Dumbed Down DemocRATS on Wednesday. —Political Insiders at the Conservative Agenda

I wish I was clever enough to have thought of that. —Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex., T., Mall Cop GOP

The only poll that really counts is the one on Election Day when real people vote. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen

Is America a great country or what? Please don’t ask how much money was spent in some of the dirtiest local campaigns in history. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen

We’ve already predicted winners on nearly all of the local races. Still, in Hamilton County we’ll be watching Cecil Thomas and The Windbag trying to convince Black voters who’s Blacker in Ohio’s African-American Ninth State Senate District, Jim TarBall’s quixotic write-in campaign for second place in the County Commissioner race, and whether Dusty will finally be put in the dustbin of history. —Political Prognosticators 

Here’s our Conservative Response to some of the Liberal Hype. —Citizens for Community Values

Nothing associated with me or my campaign or anyone in the Ohio DemocRAT Party will run nasty ads. —Despicibale DemocRAT Candidate Micah Kamrass, endorsed by $tan Che$ley and Jerry Springer

There must be a zillion people running for office in all of our local villages, cities, townships, and school boards.  The landscape is littered with their yard signs. But how is anybody supposed to know which candidate to vote for until the Morning Fishwrap publishes its complete list of political endorsements for every one of those races? —Mama Maruska

Most people thought is was really an improvement when we used Judge Carl Stich’s picture instead of “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman’s on Page F-9 of Saturday’s Official 2014 Election Guide. —Feckless Fishwrappers

Did anybody notice the only Brinkman sign on the street Brinkman lives on in Mt. Lookout is the one in front of Brinkman’s house? —Brinkman’s Neighbors

Did anybody notice how it looks like we were promoting inter-racial sex at my victory party? —The Windbag

At Black Churches all over America on Sunday, sermons were political as usual, racist “Get-out-the-Vote” handouts were just “Community Service” announcements, and busses were waiting to take parishioners down to their local Boards of Elections to vote early and often for their local DemocRATS for whom they were told to vote. —Revrum Calhoun

Sunday on CBS’s “Face The Nation,” PBS host Tavis Smiley compared Obama to Jesus one more time when he commented on the DemocRAT candidate for U.S. Senate from Kentucky, Alison Wondergams Grimes refusing to admit she voted for Obama, said, “For Christ’s sake, Peter only denied Jesus THREE times.” —Today’s Liberals Say the Stupidest Thing Award Committee

Did anybody remember two years ago when I said I’d retire if Obama was elected? —WLW Hate Radio Trash Talker Bill Cunningham

Please thank the old Draft Dodger for letting us know more places to go for Free Chow on Veterans Day. —Freeloaders Pretending to Be Veterans

If you don’t vote, you’re leaving the decision to somebody even dumber than you are. —Jesse “The Body” Ventura

Remember what we always say: “A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. — Loony Libertarians

Yes, I really did accuse Obama of treason in my most recent newsletter. —Republican State Rep-tile John Becker

Even after today’s elections, our supporters will still be boycotting all those Whistleblower advertisers because The Blower reported all our lies and told Voters with no children in school to wise up and check the Auditor’s Web Site to see how much our School Tax Hike Scam will be costing them, along with the amount of School Taxes they’re already paying. —The Forrest Gump School Board

We just figured out, if you have your victory party on FaceBook, you don’t have to buy any beer. —Cheapskate Candidates

In Kentucky and several other states, TEA Party supporters who saw their endorsed candidates lose to establishment Republicans in U.S. Senate primaries are holding their noses as they prepare to put endangered Republican candidates over the top with their votes in closely fought U.S. Senate races. —Breibart News

Please help us limp across the finish line tonight. You can finally send in your $5 donation today. —Alison Wondergam Grimes’ Campaign

After my visits, the entire country went back to ignoring Kentucky again. —Hillary

Just like they ignored my efforts to stand in for McConnell last weekend. —Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman 

Are you sure we shouldn’t call today “Electile Dysfunction Day?” —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

There are two military veterans running for Kenton County Sheriff. Only one has an Honorable Discharge. Vote for Korzenborn. He served his Country proud. —Kenton County Veterans

Please explain one more time why Trish the Dish keeps asking we don’t have Early Voting in Kentucky like they do in Ohio? —Horny in Hebron

What happened to all the Clocks? —Trish the Dish on Channel 19 News

Speaking of Clocks, have you seen our New World Clock? — Poodwaddle

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Deluded DemocRATS Charlie Luken and David Pepper who don’t really care if they win anything. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception Says, “They just love campaigning.”

More Conservative Political Cartoons

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