FRIDAY, JANUARY 19, 2018

Time Out From Tweets
This week, all those people who spend entirely too much time on Facebook when they should be working, tweeted an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner was President Donald J. Trump, who took time out from his busy schedule this morning to update us on tomorrow’s one-year anniversary celebration at Mar A Lago, which might have to be on hold because of a little thing like a the “Schumer Shutdown.”

President Trump wins a designer “I Still Can’t Stop Gloating” T-shirt, an updated list of fair-and-balanced media contacts (if we ever find any), and a seven-year free subscription to The Blower. His winning entry is:

When somebody sends you a “tweet”
Don’t think it’s because you’re so sweet.
They just want you to know
You’re a part of their show
Who’s just feeding their bloated conceit.

When someone sends you a “tweet”
To tell you they’re crossing the street
Every minor detail
Text, twitter or e-mail
Some silence would be a real treat.

And from our Anderson Laureate, who says all that’s Twittered is not gold:
When someone sends you a tweet,
If you’re a legal it might even be sweet,
But if it’s from the President,
And you’re an illegal resident,
Your alien ass will be feeling some heat.

When someone sends you a tweet,
It could be nice or it could twist your teat.
But before you reply,
Consider the guy,
And that you might meet again on the street.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“The best part of shutting the government down.”