TODAY IS
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 01, 2019
Trump’s 742nd Day In Office

— Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

Time Out From Tweets
This week, all those people who spend entirely too much time on Facebook when they should be working, tweeted an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner was President Donald J. Trump, who took time out this morning from rehearsing zingers for Tuesday Night’s State of Disunion Address. (The Blower says he should just read a few of his most offensive Tweets.)

President Trump wins a designer “I Still Can’t Stop Gloating” T-shirt, an updated list of fair-and-balanced media contacts (if we ever find any), and a seven-year free subscription to The Blower. His winning entry is:

When somebody sends you a “tweet”
Don’t think it’s because you’re so sweet.
They just want you to know
You’re a part of their show
Who’s just feeding their bloated conceit.

When someone sends you a “tweet”
To tell you they’re crossing the street
Every minor detail
Text, twitter or e-mail
Some silence would be a real treat.

Perturbed In Park Hills says
When someone sends you a “tweet,”
My advice: just hit “delete.”
Probably a Trump-hating schmuck
Living off of George Soros’ buck,
Spreading his naked deceit.

If it’s from a malcontent, veteran bum
Who’s made a career out of banging his drum,
Don’t be fooled by a swamp fox:
Start a methodical dox
And expose that lying scum.

If it’s from a boob named AOC,
Singing in her collectivist key,
Don’t become a panicky prepper
Just because this climate change schlepper
Mouths her Chicken Little repartee.

If it’s from Pelosi or Schumer
Treat it like a malignant tumor.
Have it surgically removed post-haste,
As the biggest lie you’ve ever faced,
And put yourself back in good humor.

And from our Anderson Laureate, who says all that’s Twittered is not gold:
When someone sends you a tweet,
If you’re a legal it might even be sweet,
But if it’s from the President,
And you’re an illegal resident,
Your alien ass will be feeling some heat.

When someone sends you a tweet,
It could be nice or it could twist your teat.
But before you reply,
Consider the guy,
And that you might meet again on the street.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“At our Groundhog’s Day Party this year”