TODAY IS
SATURDAY, MAY 04, 2019
Trump’s 834th Day In Office

Happy Derby Day, Everybody!

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo reports our Turfway Tout says Turfway Park will be celebrating the most exciting two minutes in sports all day long today as the Northern Kentucky track hosts its Kentucky Derby Day at Turfway, along with its annual Kentucky Derby simulcast and party.

Miss Vicki says some of the Southern Belles from Fort Mitchell you might meet will even let you talk derby to them.

This year Britain’s Queen Elizabeth will be boycotting this year’s Kentucky Derby for the eleventh year in a row, and the CamBoozler remembers that time Charles Foster Kane and Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel enjoyed meeting with Her Majesty.

Linda and our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane would’ve liked to have gotten together with Lizzie once again, since the pair have been exchanging Christmas cards with Her Majesty ever since that time the three were together at Will Farish’s Lane’s End Farm in 1991.

Linda especially remembers several years ago at the Queen’s Derby Reception when everybody started showing family pictures to each other, and the Queen pulled out a photo of Prince Charles and his new wife Camilla.

Linda also reminded our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher that she was the one responsible for insisting that people who applied for Whistleblower subscriptions be “Persons of Consequence,” but she had nothing to do with The Blower’s current policy, where persons who’ve been found to have misrepresented themselves as consequential movers and shakers, are declared “Persons of Inconsequence,” and then are removed from The Blower’s e-mail list without notice.

Alternative Life-style Editors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis like Derby Day at Churchill Downs where they can pretend they’re jockeys coming from behind, along with singing all the original words of “My Old Kentucky Home,” especially the part about “Gay Darkies.”

And won’t it be funny tonight if John Coyne and all the usual suspects were smoking outside the Landing in New Richmond, when the lady with a wooden leg says her daughter (one of the original strippers at Deja Vu) never misses a Kentucky Derby and Clem from Clermont asked the daughter if that wasn’t a pretty long drive. “Of course not,” the daughter said, “It’s only about eight miles to River Downs.”

Now here’s where you can bet on the Derby online.