Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
THURSDAY, MARCH 15, 2018
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap
(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)
— Tonight’s Whistleblower Wisdom —
— Tonight’s Top Ten List —
Tonight it’s the Top Ten Reasons The Blower Thinks Attorney General Jeff Sessions should be firing Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe And Screw Up His Pension Tomorrow:
10. Inspector General’s Office And The Office Of Professional Responsibility Recommended It
9. Lying To Investigators Is A Fireable Offense
8. Wife Got All That Campaign Money From Crooked Hillary
7. Personally Responsible For A Lot Of Leaking
6. His Picture Should Already Be On A Wanted Poster At The Post Office
5. Was In Charge Of Crooked Hillary’s Exoneration Before Her Investigation
4. Kept Obama’s Name Completely Out Of It
3. Should Already Be Indicted Himself
2. To Encourage Him To Cooperate At All Of Those The Upcoming Criminal Trials For Mueller, Comey, Rosenstein, Lynch, Clinton, Holder, And Maybe Even Obama
…And the Number One Reason The Blower Thinks Attorney General Jeff Sessions should be firing Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe And Screw Up His Pension Tomorrow is… So We Can See All Those Pundits’ Heads Explode At VERY FAKE NEWS CNN and MSNBC.
—Tonight’s Top Three Trump Tweets —
— TONIGHT’S NEWSMAKERS —
— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —
TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE
— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —
TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE
— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —
— Tonight’s Whistleblower Not-Faking News —
“All The News That’s Not Fit To Fake”
— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM OTHER SATIRICAL WEB SITES —
(Commenting On Today’s Top Stories)
Politician Wants Child Sex Dolls Outlawed
Republican Dan Donovan of Staten Island, a federal prosecutor for 20 years before his election to the House in 2015, has made it his mission to sound the warning about child sex dolls – robots engineered with disturbingly lifelike prepubescent features.
“When I saw articles on the issues of child sex dolls abroad, I knew I had to act immediately to stop the proliferation of them within the United States,” Donovan told reporters.
In a possibly related story, for the third time this month, former president Bill Clinton was seen transporting a large, lifelike doll. The chubby, dark-haired, buxom doll is reportedly a gift for his granddaughter.
TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE 
Mueller to Annally Probe President’s Business Transactions
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE
DemocRATS Announce All 2020 Candidates Will Forego Armed Security To Protest Gun Violence
TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Concerned Nation Gently Encourages Boston To Take It Easy This St. Patrick’s Day
TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE
— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters —
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The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 419. There Are Now Only 963 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2013.
