TUESDAY, OCTOBER 20, 2015

Or Is It Just More “Substantially True” News?

At this afternoon’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about “Dale for-Sale” Mallory and Charlie Hassle shaking down bad guys for guns with their new Street Rescue Gun Buy-Back Program, and somebody mentioned seeing a “Promo” for a news story about it in Tuesday’s Afternoon Headlines Update from Channel 9 “Substantially True” News.

The “Promo” said “WCPO reporting results in gun buy-back,” and that link takes you to a so-called “story” which turns out to be just another “Promo,” because when you finally get down to the second-to-last paragraph, you’ll see: “You can read about it here in Taylor’s follow-up story detailing Tassell and Mallory’s buy-back program.”

But when you click on that link, you discover you must first become a “WCPO Insider” (Whatever the hell that is) in order to read the story.

We tried signing up eleven freaking times, but nothing happened.

So right now thanks to Channel 9 “Substantially True” News, we can tell you absolutely nothing about “Dale for-Sale” Mallory and Charlie Hassle shaking down bad guys for guns with their new Street Rescue Gun Buy-Back Program, but that cross political match reminds those of us of the last time Hassle partnered with a DemocRAT: he (as chairman of the Young Republicans) and Dave Shaft-ed of the Young DemocRATS both opposed the KKK on Fountain Square, and they quoted Jerry Garcia, “Somebody has to do something, and it’s just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.”

Maybe one of these days the guys at Channel 9 “Substantially True” News will get their act together and figure out how just to report the news without trying to sell you a membership to their “Insider Club.” Al Schottelkotte must be turning over in his grave. Hopefully, some of those guns could be bought back before they’re used in another drive-by shooting.