TODAY IS
THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 2022
TRUMP’S FIVE-HUNDRED AND TWELFTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND YOUR JACKED-UP FOREST HILLS SCHOOL TAXES ARE DUE IN ONLY FIVE MORE DAYS

This afternoon at the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if he plans to update the Whistleblower Stylebook update, where, as with all real print publications, you’ll see the rules and examples of usage, punctuation, and typography, used in the preparation of copy for our publication.

“We’re not sure if The Blower’s using the term ‘PROPERTY TAXES’ correctly,” Kane explained. “Our previous Woke Forest Hills School Board was only wasting, frauding, and abusing the ‘SCHOOL TAXES’ portion of your Property Tax Bill that’s due by Tuesday so over-taxed payers can continue paying for all those future Dumbed-Down D-RATs to be brainwashed with the same progressive propaganda that’s been canceling our culture for the past sixty years.”

“We’re not talking about funding Anderson Township where we live, either,” Revered Former Trustee Andrew S. Pappas added. “If you have any complaints, you’ll have to talk to current Republican Township Trustees.”

And The Blower’s complaint also doesn’t cover all those feel-good things over-taxed payers approved, like a Joint Vocational School (wherever the hell that is), County General Fund, Public Library, Family Service/Treatment, Health and Hospital Care for the Indigent, Mental Health Levy, Development Disabilities, Park District, Crime Information Center, Children Services, Senior Services, Cincinnati Zoo so they don’t kill all the elephants, and the Museum Center.

Maybe we need a big sign in the Copy Editor’s Office: