SUNDAY, MAY JUNE 4, 2017
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN said on today’s date in 1920, Congress passed the 19th Amendment, guaranteeing women the right to vote. The women’s suffrage movement turned out to be a real success, but it’s the men who’ve been suffering ever since.
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Bobby Leach’s “Down home, we like to see a woman put up on a pedestal, just high enough to see up her Dress.”
WITH THE SWIMMING SEASON NOW UPON US, 
WE’RE JUMPING RIGHT IN WITH ANOTHER ODIOUS ODE FROM BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for the sweltering summer, we found this passionate poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Summer Sex Scandals,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
Hot Weather Warmup
It’s time to grab your bathing suit
To have a refreshing swim
And check and see if all the girls
Have got their bikini trim.
THIS WEEK, OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER SAID WE’RE STILL HEARING TOO MUCH LEFT-WING HATE SPEECH FROM OUR LATE NIGHT COMEDIANS LIKE JIMMY KIMMEL: President Trump rang in the 1st of June with a major announcement. No one loves to announce an announcement more than Donald Trump. On Twitter last night, he wrote, “I will be announcing my decision on Paris accord Thursday at 3:00 P.M., the White House Rose Garden, make America great again.” It made sense that he did it from the Rose Garden. While we still have roses and gardens.
This deal that Trump backed out of, this is a deal that was signed by 194 other countries. The only two countries who are not part of the Paris accord, besides us, are Nicaragua and Syria. And they’re doing great. I guess it’s not a surprise, the fact that he pulled out. The president has been very big on pulling out ever since he had Donald Jr.
Meanwhile, I’m sure you know about covfefe at this point, right? So just after midnight yesterday the president wrote, “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” And that was it. And with that puzzling half-sentence, for a brief shining moment, Donald Trump made Twitter great again.
Twitter went absolutely berserk. Not since Phil Collins gave us the word “Susudio” has a nation been so utterly fascinated and perplexed. You know a typo is bad when even Melania is like, ‘I’m pretty sure that’s not English, Donald.’ Even after Trump deleted the tweet, which he almost never does, Sean Spicer claimed it was intentional. He said it wasn’t a typo or a stroke.
IN THIS WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED TITLED “AFTER GREEN, BLUE IS OUR FAVORITE COLOR,” every politician was reminded of the fact that June 8, 2008 was the date Hamilton County officially turned forever “Blue,” and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were talking about how such a thing could’ve happened. This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
OUR MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says it should be a lot of fun watching Cincinnati spend all that money trying to “refresh” its Police Collaborative Agreement, when they to put the Genie back in the bottle after politicians abandoned the original effort.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen President Trump continues to enact the agenda he promised voters, stunning the Washington, D.C. establishment and a media used to politicians who change their tune once they’re in office. Late this week, the president announced that the United States is withdrawing from the anti-global warming Paris Climate Agreement, saying the measure is bad for the U.S. economy. President Obama signed the agreement in 2015, but it was largely a symbolic gesture since he never submitted it to the Senate for ratification, knowing it was unlikely to be approved (MORE)
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #162, Reclaim the language for conservatism: Instead of “Mainstream Media (MSM),” talk about the OLM— “Old Left Media.”
JOHN GALT says “I started my life with a single absolute: that the world was mine to shape in the image of my highest values and never to be given up to a lesser standard, no matter how long or hard the struggle.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says according to Market Watch, the Stock Market could face its most turbulent week of trading so far this year, with a trio of potentially destabilizing events on deck: former FBI director James Comey’s testimony, the U.K. election, and the ECB monetary-policy meeting. The trifecta, coming nearly all simultaneously on June 8, threaten to derail U.S. equities’ record-setting run.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others. Moochers in the Military will again be sad on Tuesday when all those restaurants aren’t giving away all those free meals on D-Day like they always do on Veterans Day, which means they will all have to wait until November 11 for their FREE BLOOMIN’ ONION from Outback.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their “fake news” from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones at The Fishwrap and on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.
FINALLY AT TONIGHT’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane if The Blower has any special plans this week when Donald Trump will be in the Cincinnati area to talk about his plan for new federal spending on infrastructure. “One thing’s for sure,” Kane explained. “There will be no anonymous attributions from the White House like you see in The Fishwrap.
This week, Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception wondered if Hamilton County Prosecutor “Jaywalking Joe” Deters would answer all the questions from the news media when the Tensing Re-trial actually begins.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (JUNE 5) we’ll be featuring our Conservative Civics Lesson in our Current “Constitutional Crisis” E-dition.
TUESDAY (JUNE 6) we’ll be remembering D-Day in case our non-combatants at The Fishwrap forget, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be really patriotic.
WEDNESDAY (JUNE 7), The Blower will be getting together with President Trump when he’s in the Cincinnati area to talk about his plan for new federal spending on infrastructure.
THURSDAY (JUNE 8) we’ll be featuring our Annual Bluing of Hamilton County E-dition.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (JUNE 9) LIMERICK IS “On June 6 We Celebrate D-Day,” which will already have happened.
AND SATURDAY (JUNE 10) is our annual “Walk Naked In Anderson Day” beginning a 1PM EDT, so ladies shouldn’t complain about not having anything to wear.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
TODAY’S WHISTLEBLOWER BREAKING NEWS VIDEO
Rand Paul Slams Jake Tapper and Climate Alarmists on Doomsday Predictions
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