TODAY IS
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 2023
TRUMP’S NINE-HUNDRED-AND-SIXTY-EIGHTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, MANY MEMBERS ASKED BUNKY TADWELL IF THE WHISTLEBLOWER MEMOIRS HE’S GHOST-WRITING WILL INCLUDE THAT TIME IN 1962-1963 WHEN OUR BELOVED PUBLISHER WAS ONLY A PFC BUT HAD BEEN PUT IN CHARGE OF THE ARMY EDUCATION CENTER IN WURZBURG, GERMANY, WHERE ENLISTED STUDENTS ACHIEVED THE HIGHEST SCORES ON STANDARDIZED TESTS IN EUROPE

Cheers for Beers 

This week, everybody who wonders how they can call it Oktoberfest if it’s in September, faxed and e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is Floyd Schnitzelflogger from Florence, KY, who likes last week’s Oktoberfest on Mainstrasse in Covington better, because at the one in Downtown Cincinnati this weekend, not as many girls will show you their breasts.

Floyd won his own Porto-let, a chicken to dance with, and a copy of this year’s “Girls Gone Wild” tape made at the Mainstrasse Village Pub. His winning entry is:

 

It’s Time Once Again For Oktoberfest?”
And its timing is really a mess
Always in September
Is what you gotta remember
Although it is called OCTOBERfest.

A Dishonorable Mention from our Good Friend Bobby Leach
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest
That excuse to chug suds and keep abreast
Of all things mammarian. So let’s squeeze some jugs
As we give lots of hugs,
And chicken-dance with those of ample chest.

Jeff Ruby writes
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest
When you can wear lederhosen undt ein leather vest
You can guzzle the suds,
In your fake German duds,
But remember to avoid that sobriety test.

“TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman writes
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest
Mit lager undt chicken dances, it was the best!
Ve know der Queen City is Kraut,
But isn’t this beer fest worn out?
Gott in Himmel! Can’t they give it a rest?

Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson writes
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest
A festival that beats all the rest
There’s Krauts in short pants
And the rubber chicken dance
They’d love you to come as their guest!

And here’s a dishonorable mention from Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis:
At Oktoberfest you’re allowed to drink beer,
And dress up in real German gear.
You can wear lederhosen
And Birkenstocks to put your toes in,
But if you bend over, you better cover your rear.

And this Five-stanza Limerick from the Anderson Laureate (who now knows why his poetic license is being revoked):
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest
Mit sauerkraut, brats and the rest.
Cherman guys in short pants
Doing the lederhosen chicken dance
Believe me, I don’t want to be a pest.

But why don’t we have an event
Where money on beer is not spent.
There’s whiskey and wine
And tequila so fine
And on those we can spend every cent.

Now as far as my limericks are concerned
Some people’s dislike I’ve earned
I try to be nice
But take my advice
Be careful, ’cause a poet can get burned.

By some I am loved, by others I’m hated
To a moron I’m occasionally equated
But my poems are my art
Even though I’m not very smart
I just want my poetic license reinstated.

So I’ll say “Auf wiedersehn,” my friends
This is where my limerick ends
Enjoy Oktoberfest
My critique is in jest
I’ve been there in my lederhosen Depends.

Finally, Last Year Perturbed in Park Hills said
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest:
With all their events we must keep abreast.

Speaking of breasts, they seem to come in pairs
On Frauleins who love to display their wares.

Don’t fret about using the wrong pronoun
While you’re admiring the best racks in town.

But don’t let your pickle become jumbo,
Lest you turn into a beer-crazed Dumbo.

Just tuck your generous gratuity
Into her blouse sans promiscuity.

Enjoy your Bavarian libation
And she’ll say “Danke” for your donation!

And This Year Perturbed in Park Hills Says
It’s time once again for Oktoberfest
That great showcase for the full female breast.

Woody Allen said breasts travel in pairs;
The firmer they are, the more they get stares.

This is my encomium to cleavage
For which I might be consigned to steerage.

But first I’ll get a bottle from my beer-age,
Turn on the Boob Tube, with feet up, kick back,

And daydream about frauleins in the sack.
“Hey there, Frau Helga, do tell me your sign!

Bend over me and help me hoist my stein!
If you show me yours then I’ll show you mine!”

Joke* Biden, however, must not like breasts
(As his sniffing of little girls suggests).

The second pervert who doesn’t like boobs
And those with mature fallopian tubes.

The first pervert is Barry Obama
Whose adopted girls still have no mama.

They do have a tranny with shaved eyebrows
(But don’t let me your suspicions arouse…)

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When the Reds didn’t clinch the pennant this year”More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our September fund-raising drive from Oktoberfest Zinzinnati, which we will not guarantee you might hear something about during the upcoming weekend.

IGNORING OKTOBERFEST HOT LINE

E-mail your alternate activities today

Some Aryan Supreme items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Aryan Supreme subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

Obama White House’s New Ambassador of Gayness From Outer Space— Star Trek’s George Takei Leads ‘Gay Chicken Dance’ at Oktoberfest 2013

(Sent in Gay Chicken Dancers at Cincinnati City Hall)

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