WE’RE STILL CATCHING UP,
SO THIS E-DITION FROM THE ARCHIVES IS FOR FRIDAY, AUGUST 11, 2023
TRUMP’S NINE-HUNDRED-AND-THIRTY-THIRD DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
Curiously, Our Astute Andersonian Didn’t Have A Lot Of Trouble Figuring Out Which Real School District We Were Talking About
More Fool$ For $kool$
This week, everybody who realizes the whole public edumacation scam is just pissing away over-taxed payers’ money down a rat hole, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.
The winner is frequent Forrest Gump Schools critic Rod Sparer, who says dumbed-down voters were really stupid to pass the last Forrest Gump school tax hike, but he’s sure residents felt even stupider when after the Woke Majority School Board voters had just elected pulled a fast one and killed Anderson’s Redskin Mascot, against the wishes of a majority of our dumbed down voters.
Rod wins a left-over backpack (made by the church ladies for all those impoverished students in the Forrest Gump School District), a peanut-free lunch in any Forrest Gump School cafeteria, and last but certainly not least, all those School Board Members’ cell phone numbers so Rod can call them at three in the morning with all of his good suggestions, since they probably won’t mind being called at that hour when they’re always woke. His winning “quadruple limerick” is:
When your kids finally go back to school
Will they learn that homosexuality is cool?
This abomination is still a perversion
To which there is a natural aversion,
Despite the hypocrisy of many a PC fool.
When your kids finally go back to school,
The teachers won’t teach “Golden Rule.”
The ACLU says “NO GOD,”
The courts say “Spare the rod,”
And the yoofs are told Obama is “cool.”
When your kids finally go back to school
Will they be learning all about Abdul?
After all, we must understand those who hate us
And pretend they don’t want to exterminate us,
As they rule the USA from Istanbul.
When your kids finally go back to school
Some yoofs will still be shootin’ pool;
‘Cause they is misunderstood,
Being raised in de hood,
To make them learn would just be too cruel.
Foul Mouth Fred Says:
When your kids finally go back to school
They’ll want to be dressed in clothes that are cool
It will cost Dad a ton
But then Dad will have fun
When the kids are gone and Mom finally touches his tool.
Tomas de Torquemada Says:
When your kids finally go back to school,
Gender dysphoria will be the rule.
Only pronouns acceptably PC,
Approved by the freaks of “L-G-B-T,”
Are guaranteed to make your child a ghoul!
And from the Anderson Laureate (who says, “I never got caught painting a penis on a football field when I went to school.”)
When your kids finally go back to school
Time to fill the hot tub and drain the pool.
If the heat doesn’t halt,
That’ll be Donald Trump’s fault
We certainly can’t blame our Chief Executive fool.
When your kids finally go back to school
Once again sanity can rule.
Your home is your own
No text, twitters, or cell phone
How nice to be old, and “not cool.”
Tomas de Torquemada says
When kids finally go back to school,
Parents will take back their household rule.
What rules in school, though, is PC crap,
Your kids’ character designed to sap,
With teachers who hate America,
Steeped in leftist esoterica.
Don’t show up wearing a MAGA hat:
That will trigger a liberal spat.
Did you dare to use the wrong pronoun?
You’ll be attacked by shirts that are brown.
If you defend traditional marriage,
Justice will witness a big miscarriage.
When you can see through liberal smog,
You’ll know public schools are a gulag,
Brainwashing by government mandate,
Obedient snowflakes to create.
You’re better off homeschooling your kids;
Beware your values hitting the skids.
Finally, Perturbed In Park Hills Says
When Kids Finally Go Back To School
They’ll become an obedient tool
Of the Communists from NEA
And their hate-America array.
You’ll soon fail to recognize your child
Become a rabid Marxist gone wild.
The BLM curriculum’s here,
To make “white privilege” disappear.
Is “systemic racism” your thing?
Then hatred of our police you’ll sling.
Do you remember the Trojan Horse?
BLM wants to take us by force.
FINALLY, PANCHO VILLA HILLS SAYS
When the kids finally go back to school
Will they learn to despise the Golden Rule?
Will they learn to diagram a sentence,
Or be shamed into white guilt repentance?
Will they learn how America is blessed,
Or how the marginalized are oppressed?
Will they have to wear face nappies all day,
Reducing oxygen to their airway?
How ’bout those “safe and effective” vaxxes –
Being pushed by public health quackses?
Will they cause your kid to drop dead in class?
(‘Cause the vaxxed are dropping like flies, en masse.)
Will they pledge allegiance to the rainbow
Or to the Stars and Stripes and live ammo?
Will they commemorate Columbus Day
Or go the indigenous grievance way?
I feel sorry for all public school kids;
Public education has hit the skids.
Get your kid out, it’s already quite late,
And save them from a hate-filled Marxist fate.
The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“When you watch the Bungals this year”
AMERICAN EDUCATION HOT LINE
e-mail your online outlines today.
Some humorous education items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally humorous education subscribers.
Whistleblower Education Video For Today
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
