TODAY IS
SATURDAY, JUNE 10, 2023
TRUMP’S EIGHT-HUNDRED-AND-SEVENTY-FIRST DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND RESIDENTS ARE CALLING FOR AN EROGENOUS ZONE IN ANDERSON

Patriotism In The Raw

        Whistleblower Naked New

s Correspondent Oliver Klozhoff says traffic was bumper-to-bumper all over Anderson Township between 1-2 PM Eastern Daylight Time this afternoon, probably because all those looky-loos were hoping to be lucky looky-loos looking at all those Attractive Andersonian ladies (including nearly all Redskins Mascot-Loving Women) doing their part to weed out neighborhood terrorists by walking around naked and causing Muslim Men to commit suicide because they have seen naked women other than their wives. The Anderson Life Squad was really busy.

Sheriff’s Deputies said they’d never seen Beechmont Avenue so backed up, and several men had to be cited for driving with boners. 

Was the Whistleblower there to cover today’s “Walk Naked In Anderson Day” Event?  You bet! As the official voice of the Conservative Agenda and the publication of record for all patriotic proceedings in the Tri-State, our readers know to expect nothing less.

This afternoon’s weather couldn’t have been better, and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane wanted to thank all of his naked next-door neighbor ladies for being so patriotic.

Anderson’s Treasured Trustee Emeritus Andrew S. Pappas called today’s Patriotic Parade a huge success and he especially wanted to thank all those naked Anderson TEA Party Ladies who stood out in front of the KFC that used to be Cleaner Concepts on Beechmont Avenue waving “Pappas for Whatever” signs.

Ohio’s Second Congressional District Bird Colonel Podiatrist Congressman “Bronze Star” Brad Wenstrup praised the naked ladies passing out his campaign literature in front of what used to be his office next to the firehouse on Beechmont Avenue until he moved to Clermont County.

And some particularly attractive naked Trump-Supporting Ladies seemed to be getting a lot of attention in front of the Kroger store. Thankfully, none of those Attractiveness-Challenged Disrobed D-RAT ladies showed up, which was a good thing, since they’re not all that patriotic anyway,  but several Motorcycle Riding Lesbian Avengers On Their Harleys were there to ogle the naked ladies, too.

This is the Official “Nude News Report” For Walk Naked In Anderson Day. Any other “Nude News Report” For Walk Naked In Anderson Day you might see published would surely be a fake!

And since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold six-pack at your side was further proof of your patriotism.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God Bless America!

P.S. It is your patriotic duty to inform others.

And if you don’t send this to at least one person, you’re a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are possibly aiding and abetting terrorists