TODAY IS
THURSDAY, JUNE 16, 2021
TRUMP’S FIVE-HUNDRED AND TWELFTH DAY OUT-OF-OFFICE
AND WE’RE HAVING A LITTLE HEAT ADVISORY

We’re Really Hoping For A Sunny Day

          Right now everybody in the Whistleblower Newsroom is focused on the counter on the wall clicking off the hours, minutes, and seconds until “Walk Naked In Anderson Day” Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Daylight Time.

Yesterday, as you may remember, Whistleblower Naked News Correspondent Oliver Klozhoff told us it’s a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide, so Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Daylight time, all Patriotic and Redskins Mascot-Loving Women will be walking out of their houses completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists by circling their block for at least an hour in this anti-terrorist effort. 

Meanwhile, at the Whistleblower Weather Center, our Nearly Naked Weather Girl says Saturday’s weather should be wonderful, so all Aroused Andersonian men will be positioned in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Radical Islamic Terrorist sympathizers.

And since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side, would be further proof of your patriotism.

Revered Former Trustee Andrew S. Pappas says Anderson Township will appreciate everyone’s efforts to root out terrorists and applauds everyone’s participation in this anti-terrorist activity. Andy also says to tell the ladies not to forget to use plenty of sunscreens on their tushies.