TODAY IS
SUNDAY, MARCH 17, 2019
Trump’s 786th Day In Office

This Sunday in America…at the Church of The Compassionate Conservative, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher, the Right-Wing Reverend Charles Foster Kane was asking his Political Parishioners to Pray for Putrid Poetry in America, especially after Putrid Poetry by Doofus D-RAT Candidate Beto O’Rourke (Who will never be President) was unearthed this week.

Writing under the now-exposed pseudonym “Psychedelic Warlord,” a teen-aged O’Rourke appears to be the author of a poem titled “The Song of the Cow,” published in 1988 by “cDc (Cult of the Dead Cow) communications.”

“I need a butt-shine,” the poem begins … and it really all just goes downhill from there:

I need a butt-shine
Right now
You are holy,
Oh, sacred cow
I thirst for you,
Provide Milk

Buff my balls,
Love the Cow,
Good fortune for those that do.
Love me, breathe my feet,
The Cow has risen.
Wax my ass,
Scrub my balls
The Cow has risen,
Provide Milk.

Oh, Milky winder, sing for us once more
Live your life, ever-lusting joy.
Thrust your hooves up my analytic passage,
Enjoy my fruits

Provider of Cheese and other wonderful dairy products,
We will cleanse your inner intestines.
We will bathe in your Pungent Odor
Gather cotton.

Count my eyes,
Smell my skin,
Love the Scarecrow and the Milkman.
I live only for eternity,
Thirst for the undrinkable.
Hold the heat,
Praise the dough boy at the pizza shop.
Love the Oxen dung!

Do you think Beto will recite his “Buff My Balls” Poetry standing on a table at D-RAT the convention at Milwaukee next July?

Probably Not, Since Republicans Will Have Already Shown Beto’s “Wax My Ass, Buff My Balls!” A Million Times By Then.