TODAY IS
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2018
Trump’s 674th Day In Office
More Politics Unusual
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says after a Thanksgiving pause, the season of contention continues afresh with early voting for the final U.S. senate seat in Georgia beginning Monday for the state’s December 4 runoff election. But first, Urban Meyer’s Ohio State Buckeyes bullied the Michigan Wolverines once again, this time 62-39.
While many still see Thanksgiving as an important holiday, it’s one Americans like to spend in the comfort of their own home, and that despite the frenzy over Black Friday deals most Americans opted out of hitting the stores yesterday.
But Americans weren’t waiting for Thanksgiving to be done to start their holiday shopping, and a growing number say they plan to open their wallets wider this year than in years past.
Following the midterm elections, voters still see political division ahead, but they’re not quite as pessimistic about it as they were last year. [READ MORE HERE]
MAGA In Mississippi
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says according to media mythology, Black Friday (the Day After Thanksgiving) is NOT a racial holiday. It’s actually one of the busiest shopping days of the year and the beginning of the period where retailers would no longer have losses (in the red) and instead take in the year’s profits (in the black). But why do retail store owners really call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday?” WLW Hate Radio Racist in Residence Bill Cunningham says it’s because it’s the biggest shoplifting day of the year and Obama Supporters are proud of their bumper stickers that say “I’d rather be stealing.”
MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose this observation from an unknown author: “It’s called Black Friday, because only in America, people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #327 is when the holidays finally roll around, always say: “Merry Christmas,” never “Happy Holidays.” Not only do 70% of Americans prefer it—according to Rasmussen polls—but you are much more likely to offend a liberal. While 88% of Republican voters prefer “Merry Christmas,” only 57% of DemocRATS do.
GOING GALT says Thanksgiving is not his favorite holiday, since it celebrates the American Puritan myth of cooperation and community instead of individuality and the free market. Followers of John Galt believe they are a society of people who have paid more than their fair share of taxes and are no longer going to work to pay for a society of entitlements.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “Gripe” first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on February 25, 1981, personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves is still in the kitchen whipping up a batch of Wilford Brimley’s Erotic Stuffing Mix for Thanksgiving, but he still had time to dash off a couple of early Turkey Day odes:
Too much turkey
And cranberry jelly
Too little trousers
To cover my belly
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says this Thanksgiving, our Feckless Fishwrappers were still covering up for the way they forgot to report anything about Jessica Miranda’s multiple state investigations (2011-45-1491, 2012-28-197, 2014-28-2039) regarding felony violations over the past five years that might have affected that Disingenuous DemocRAT’s current 56 vote margin of victory for the 28th District Ohio House seat.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Porky Dorkman Story.”
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says
U.S. stocks dropped on Friday, and the market suffered its worst week in two years, as fears of inflation and disappointing quarterly results from technology and energy giants spooked investors. The Dow Jones industrial average dropped by more than 650 points.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others, and local cops taking advantage of offers of free stuff from a local merchant sound like they would like to be included, just like future DemocRATS in that illegal immigrant invasion dreaming of life in the land of Free Stuff.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS (especially Black Voters who sell their votes for FREE Stuff), RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way American Values have been continually denigrated during the Age of Obama as our nation is have being taken over by those who will destroy it Morally, Financially, and Politically.
It’s not just the Stupid People who voted for Obama, Crooked Hillary, and the Disingenuous DemocRATS during the 2018 Mid-Term Elections, but the rest of us who allowed it to happen, all in the Names Of Ignorance, Apathy, Laziness, and Being Politically Correct. Shame on all of us for continuing to let it happen! We now have a government we truly deserve.
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Delusional Governor John Kasich Already Running For President In 2020 won the Biggest Ohio Turkey of the Year Award for 2018.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
MONDAY (NOVEMBER 26) The Blower will be publishing our Annual 2018 Holiday Confusion Issue,” along with pointing out the difference between Trump’s Christmas At White House Compared To Michelle’s Last Christmas.
TUESDAY (NOVEMBER 27) will be our “Early Christmas Sales” E-dition and, Real Subscribers will be telling us what they’re shopping for with their Real E-Mails.
WEDNESDAY, (NOVEMBER 28) Whistleblower Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders will be remembering last year’s ISIS Attack at Ohio State.
THURSDAY (NOVEMBER 29) in our “Those Were The Good Old Days E-dition, we’ll be checking with Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel for some names you would know of all those adulterers and adulteresses at the local newspapers, TV Stations, Cincinnati City Hall, and especially the Hamilton County Courthouse The Blower’s exposed during the past 28 years.
THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (NOVEMBER 30) LIMERICK IS: “Is there help for the old GOP?”
AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 1) we’ll getting ready for Hanukkah on Sunday, and Patronage County will be remembering how Cincinnati’s Mayor David Mann’s soup line embarrassed the City in 1981 in front of the entire nation.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially esteemed former Hamilton County Dem-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, hearing from an unexpected judicial candidate, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Failure of Intelligence: How Liberals Cause ISIS Terror Attacks
The mainstream media says that retaliation against the Islamic terrorists is what will radicalize the moderate Muslims, but Bill Whittle begs to differ…
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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