Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 29, 2018
Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap

(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)

— Tonight’s Whistleblower Wisdom —
OK, Everybody. Let’s All Try To Act Really Surprised!

—Tonight’s Top Trump Tweet — 

— TONIGHT’S NEWSMAKERS —

— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —

TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE

— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —

TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE

— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —

— Tonight’s Whistleblower Not-Faking News —

“All The News That’s Not Fit To Fake”

— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM OTHER SATIRICAL WEB SITES —

(Commenting On Today’s Top Stories)Cleveland Indians Introduce New Logo

CLEVELAND, Ohio (Big Hairy News) – After being pressured by advocate groups for years to ditch their team logo over claims it was a racist symbol, on Thursday the Cleveland Indians introduced their new logo, “Chief Apu” (below).

TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE 

White House In Turmoil – Janitor Had X-Wife

THE TIME HAS COME TO CLEAN HOUSE.
Calls To Impeach The Entire White House Cleaning Staff Resound In The Halls Of Congress.TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE

CNN Purchases Industrial-Sized Washing Machine To Spin News Before Publication

ATLANTA, GA—In order to aid the news station in preparing stories for consumption, popular news media organization CNN purchased an industrial-sized washing machine to…

TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE
Dollar Tree To Stop Selling Assault WeaponsCHESAPEAKE, VA—In response to the deadly shooting at a Parkland, FL high school earlier this month, Dollar Tree officials announced Thursday that the discount variety store will no longer sell assault weapons. “Under no circumstances should a teenager be able to walk into a Dollar Tree, purchase a… Continue Reading

TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERE

— Tonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters —

— SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —

The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re still living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.

Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 405. There Are Now Only 977 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2013.