MONDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2018
Presidents’ Daze

Last week, Whistleblower Lexicographer Funkin’ Wagnall’s said the proper spelling for today’s invented holiday is “Presidents’ Day,” not “President’s Day” or “Presidents Day,” like they use at The Fishwrap.”

Since then, we’ve only seen it spelled wrong about a million times, especially in advertisements by companies which should know better, like Macy’s, Toyota, and the Onion Store, (that wants you to fill your life with trivial crap from the past on this “President’s Day.”) Maybe it’s just a really big accident when somebody actually spells “Presidents’ Day” correctly.

But now The Blower’s presidential historian Dorian Grady says, “In a way, ‘President’s Day’ could also be correct.

Because according to the federal government, the holiday being observed today is officially “Washington’s Birthday.”

But which president is being honored may actually depend on where you live, because states don’t have to adopt federal holidays, which only shut down federal offices and agencies, and some states that celebrate Washington’s Birthday also recognize Lincoln’s Birthday as a separate legal holiday.

Meanwhile, many dumbed-down Americans believe today’s holiday is now called “Presidents’ Day,” in honor of both Washington and Lincoln, who were born on February 22 and 12 respectively, which doesn’t exactly explain why the Hamilton County RINO Party chose last Friday (February 16) for its annual Lincoln-Reagan Dinner. 

And why didn’t Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane attend? Maybe he accepted that invitation to Mar-A-Lago.