Another “Friday’s Features” E-dition

 Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

FRIDAY, JANUARY 5, 2018

Tonight’s Top Conservative News Stories You Won’t See On The Front Page Of Tomorrow’s Fishwrap

(Or On Channels 5, 9, 12, And 19, Either)

— TONIGHT’S TOP STORY —

Trump’s Fake News Awards Update

—Tonight’s Top Three Trump Tweets  —

TONIGHT’S TOP THREE WHISTLEBLOWER NEWS VIDEOS

— TONIGHT’S BEN GARRISON MOMENT —

Trump-Year One

TO SEE MORE BEN GARRISON ILLUSTRATIONS, CLICK HERE

— TONIGHT’S PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS FROM EDWARD CROPPER —

TO SEE MORE PHOTO SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFS FROM EDWARD CROPPER, CLICK HERE

— Whistleblower NFL Boycott Countdown Continues —

Report: NFL’s TV Ratings Dropped 10 Percent This Season Amid Lower Attendance

— TONIGHT’S REAL NEWS FROM OUR SATIRICAL WEB SITES —

News Exec Exonerated Of Sexual Charges

 TO SEE MORE BIG HAIRY NEWS, CLICK HERE

Bill Maher ‘Gropes’ Bob Saget To Mock Al Franken

 TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE PEOPLE’S CUBE, CLICK HERE

With No Teams Left In The Sweet 16, John Kasich Still ‘Confident’ He Can Win Office Pool TO HEAR MORE BUZZ FROM THE BABYLON BEE, CLICK HERE

Year In Review

In a year where the news media fell under escalating criticism for fabrication, The Onion’s unparalleled reportage and sterling journalism revealed the core truth of 2017: That every other news organization is, indeed, lying to you. They are lying to you and, moreover, they believe you are the sort of gullible fool who will swallow their guile. In fact, on issues spanning culture, the economy, politics, sports, and entertainment, there was no publication besides The Onion that dared publish a single truth of our world—let alone publish them with our extraordinary accuracy and faithfulness to reality. Here, then, are the landmark moments of the year as reported with singular veracity by America’s Finest News Source. (MORE)

TO SEE MORE STORIES FROM THE ONION, CLICK HERETonight’s Top Three Whistleblower Political Posters

— HERE’S HOW YOU CAN SUPPORT YOUR FAVORITE FAKE NEWS SITE —

The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
The Blower believes we’re living during the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and the Liberal Media Establishment will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity in their effort to advance the Liberal Agenda.
Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane Says The Conservative Agenda Is Now Completing Working On Donald Trump’s Third 100 Days To Make America Great Again. Today Is Day Number 345. There Are Now Only 1,039 More Days Until Trump’s Re-election Day on November 3, 2020.