FRIDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2016 

In Washington, They Re-gift Your Own Tax Money

 GIFTS YOU CAN’T AFFORD: In DC, our Washington Watchdog says Congress was poised to pass a bill this week to fund the government through April, boost defense spending, provide aid to flood-ravaged states and to the lead-poisoned residents of Flint, Mich., and reimburse New York City for a fraction of the cost of protecting President-elect Donald Trump.

A “continuing resolution” to keep the US government operating for the next four months had been facing a vote in Congress today, but several provisions – from allowing Trump’s DoD pick to take office, to Flint water crisis relief – did not seriously face a shutdown.

 

The resolution sailed through the House on Thursday afternoon, with 326 representatives in favor and 96 opposed. It is now up to the Senate to pass it before the Friday deadline.

 

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1992, U.S. Marines stormed into Mogadishu, Somalia, to spearhead a multinational force aimed at restoring order in the conflict-ridden country, but if Obama had been president during that disastrous endeavor, he would’ve said it was time to open a dialogue with the Somali warlords without preconditions.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE says on Tuesday, Obama stated that “Over [the] last eight years, no foreign terrorist organization has successfully planned and executed an attack on our homeland.” Talk about something actually deserving of being labeled as “fake news.”

Meanwhile, there was still a way for Obsessive Obama Supporters like Tom and Rose to show their love for our Obamessiah during the Christmas Season. That’s why this limited edition “Obama Village Idiot” ornament for only $28.99 plus God only knows how much for shipping and handling, would look so great on your Obamamas Tree, as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to promise their millions of gullible followers today, it will still be just like “335 More Days of Christmas” during Obama’s second term. Proceeds will benefit Obama’s Legal Defense Fund.

WHISTLEBLOWER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE:

This seems to be a pretty good gift for your favorite elected official.

 JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: K-Mart announces a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived.

Now for those of you planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman at “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas Party at Jack casino in downtown Cincinnati, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, let’s all sing the fifth verse of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by Lt. Colonel Danny Bubp-kis, about whom “Mean Jean” lied on the floor of Congress and wound up as a laughingstock on “Saturday Night Live.” It goes something like this:

            On the Fifth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
            Five Libelous Liars,
            Four Screeching Tires,
            Three Borgman Cartoons,
            Two Red Dresses,
            And One Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

It’s really beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, isn’t it, Portman.

Now here’s an update on that Company Christmas Party you’ve been reading about in The Blower:

FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE:  December 9 
RE:       Patty Lewis and the Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the December 23 off with full pay.

            Happy Holidays!

  KWANZA KLAUS said there seems to be a lot of crime near the UC Campus these days.  They never seemed to have that problem when Bob Huggins was coach. All the thugs were on his teams and off the streets.

NoKY NEWS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said last year when he called the Adams County (Ohio) Travel and Visitors Bureau in Ohio, to get directions to those Amazing Amish Christmas Lights near Squirrel Town, it reminded him to tell readers that Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson now has his pet squirrel “Nutsy” tastefully decorated for Christmas

MORE HOLIDAY MAGIC: Another Holiday Party Rick never misses is the Annual World Orgasm for Peace Day Orgy at the Fort Mitchell County Club, co-sponsored by Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell and the Northern Kentucky Cougars’ Association. That godless pagan event is on December 21, just in time for Druids to celebrate the Winter
Solstice. Two years ago Marvin the Mayan said he’d like to come too, because if the world did actually come to an end on December 21, he’d like to go out with a gang bang. Then everybody watched  “Getting into the Holiday Spirit with Eric and Nicole.”

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way we keep finding out how much race relations have become since Obama came president.  “Only 9% of Americans think race relations have improved,” Kane explained, all of which does not bode well for the next 41 days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, since there is still enough time for a few more George-Soros-funded Black Lies Matter Race Riots before Donald Trump’s Inauguration on January 20, 2017.

Finally, IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?

 

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Scrooge and Marley’s Counting House.

 OFFICE PARTY HOT LINE

e-mail your extortion photos today

Some party-crashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally party-crashing subscribers.

Whistleblower Heartwarming Video of the Day

OBAMA’S BLACK SKIN PRIVILEGE

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here