SUNDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2016
TONIGHT’S TOP STORY: Tonight everybody’s starting to get a little bored watching Jill Stein’s Recount Scam continue.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1991, Radical Islamic Terrorists released American journalist Terry Anderson who’d been held as a hostage for six-and-a-half years in Lebanon. Today, Obama would probably be inviting the terrorists to the holiday tree lighting at the White House.  Tuesday is the 75th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor Day, and this year Hurley plans to do something nice for an Oriental person, and if that waitress at the Hibachi Grille says “Sank You,” she better not be talking about our ships.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Ronald Reagan’s: “We resolve that our strength, our vigilance, and our devotion will forever keep America the land of the free and the home of the brave. We resolve that we will keep faith with those we have loved and lost. And we resolve that, always, we will remember Pearl Harbor.” 

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Still struggling to explain Donald Trump’s surprise victory, Hillary Clinton and many of her supporters first blamed FBI Director James Comey. In recent days, some have turned to what they are calling “fake news” on social media sites, insisting that the deliberate spread of false information may have been a deciding factor.

TUESDAY NIGHT OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked JIMMY FALLON, who said: Yesterday, Jill Stein officially requested a hand recount of 4.8 million ballots in Michigan, but Donald Trump says he’s going to fight it, by shouting out other numbers while they’re trying to count.

CONAN O’BRIEN said: “Mitt Romney is being mocked by many Republicans for going to a fancy French dinner with Donald Trump. It’s also not helping that afterwards, Romney let Trump get to third base.”

JAMES CORDEN said: “The cereal company Kellogg’s pulled their advertising from the conservative alt-right website Breitbart News and its readers responded by calling for a boycott of all Kellogg’s products. That’s right: The culture wars have now reached cereal.”

STEPHEN COLBERT said: “Starting Jan. 20, Donald Trump can send unlockable mass text messages to the entire nation. Yes, President Trump will be able to send text messages to every phone in the nation. The only person I would trust less with this technology is Anthony Weiner.”

MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Today we have the “solution” from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves,  found in “Poems for Politicians,” available at better Kroger bookstores everywhere (except the one that’s closing).

                     It’s Just That Simple
                    It’s time to stop the spenders cold.
                    And make the taxes go.
                     When they ask you for a “little bit more”
                     Just tell the bastards “No.”      

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL:  Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. This week, let’s all re-read “The Gex Wanker Story.”

LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY titled “From the Soup Line to the Ridiculous” told us why then-Cincinnati Mayor David Mann organized a soup line instead of greeting President Ronald Reagan at the Westin, first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on December 9, 1981, was personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.

MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Angry Andersonians can never quite forget the 2015 Election: it was a combination of DemocRAT Dishonesty and Republican mistakes that will still be giving the Voters of Anderson a government they will still truly deserve for at least the next 1,067 Days until “Dee Day” on November 5, 2019.

LIBERAL LUNACY:  In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” # 341 is to invite your favorite liberal couple over for dinner. Be sure to pull the seat out and then slide it in for the lady — and then do the same for the man. It’s easy and so much fun to unman a Liberal — and what’s he going to do: complain that you’re not being sexist?

GOING GALT is a right-wing blog catchphrase inspired by the tax policy pushed by Obama. According to RationalWiki, the idea is that having to pay 4.9% more in taxes on the part of their income that exceeds $250,000 per year constitutes such an intolerable burden that they should deliberately cut back on their business to lower their income to $249,999 per year, or flee the U.S. altogether. It is largely promoted by idiots who can’t do math, and by scaremongers trying to take advantage of idiots who can’t do math.

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says Stocks had a mixed performance last week, with the Dow Jones Industrial Average rising slightly even as the broader S&P 500 fell by nearly 1%. The performance gap is more pronounced when you zoom out, as the Dow is up 10% for the year compared to the S&P 500’s 7% gain.

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone who’s willing to help himself from the stores of others.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and Failed Trying To Give Obama a Third Term By Voting For Hillary, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way American Values have been continually devolved during the Age of Obama as our nation is have being taken over by those who will destroy it Morally, Financially, and Politically. It’s not just the Stupid People who voted for Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS, but the rest of us have also allowed it to happen, all in the Names Of Ignorance, Apathy, Laziness, and Being Politically Correct. Shame on all of us for continuing to let it happen! Hopefully, things will change in 47 more days when President Trump can begin to undo all the damage Obama has done.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio First District Republican Congressman Steve Chabothead, who just returned from a junket to see where all those Hoosier Carrier employees’ jobs were going, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.

AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

MONDAY (DECEMBER 5) The Blower will be publishing our Annual 2014 Multi-cultural Holidays E-dition, as we mark the 46 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached

TUESDAY (DECEMBER 6) we’ll be will be publishing our Special “Pearl Harbor Day” E-dition, and our Real Subscribers will be remembering in their Real E-Mails.

WEDNESDAY (DECEMBER 7) we’ll be counting down the number of shoplifting days until Kwanzaa and, our Real Subscribers will telling us what they’re shoplifting for.

THURSDAY (DECEMBER 8) we’ll checking in to see our Feckless Fishwrapper’s latest Liberal Agenda item.

THE FIRST LINE OF FRIDAY’S (DECEMBER 9) LIMERICK IS: “What if Santa turned out to be gay?”

AND SATURDAY (DECEMBER 12) we’ll be with Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup when he turns on those Amazing Amish Christmas Tree Lights in Adams County Saturday night.   

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

Tonight’s Whistleblower Video
The Hunt For Hil

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