FRIDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2016

The Old GOP Is Now S.O.L.
This week, everybody who realized local Republicans got exactly what they deserved on Election Day in 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016, and were not quite sure if the Failed Old GOP would ever survive Donald Trump’s victorious 2016 Campaign, e-mailed an entry to the Whistleblower Limerick Contest.

The winner is noted political pundit Billy Bombast, who always says the best way to win, is to have crooked cronies running your county board of elections, so they can count the votes over and over until your candidate gets elected, and then stop counting.

Billy wins a BS Meter to put on his TV during all those political shows, a stuffed Alex T., Mall Cop GOP RINO-head trophy for his wall, and an engraved invitation to subscribe to the Special Whistleblower “Insiders” Edition. His winning limerick is:

Is there help for the old GOP?
Is there a candidate as Conservative as me
They can all talk the talk
But they can’t walk the walk
Trump proved that for everyone to see

“TaxKiller Tom Brinkman” writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
If so, where can it be?
I’ve looked high and low
Even watched the Glenn Beck show
But I can’t find any help for the old GOP.

Anderson 2014 Turkey of the Year Award Winner Andy Pappas writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
Is there hope in the TEA Par-ty
Palin has a pretty face
But she couldn’t win a nasty race
Is there help for the old GOP?

“Rick the Batboy” Robinson, who had been banished from Wednesday Night’s Graydon Holiday Party writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
The left and the middle can’t be,
When the Conservative base,
Becomes its only face,
It’ll be the “Grand Old Party” for me.

Miss Vicki’s Escort, who showed up at the party wearing a bow tie she bought him, writes:
Is there any help for the old GOP?
Having been for so long on a liberal spree?
Only TEA-partiers and birthers,
Not those left-wing save-the-earthers
Are the future of Republican esprit.

Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders, who says he’s not running for Bluegrass Lt. Governor, writes:
Is there help for the old GOP?
In our new one-party “democracy?”
To fight the scourge of Obama
And his Muslim buddies like Osama
We must now purge all our RINO debris.

The Robster’s Esteemed (Although A DemocRAT) Father Bob Sanders wrote:
Is there help for the old GOP?
Well, just between you and me
If they stay so extreme
Then it really does seem
They won’t keep winning the presidency.

NoKY Big Fish in a Small Pond DemocRAT Nathan “Cornbread” Smith, wrote:
Is there help for the old G.O.P.?
Ask somebody else, instead of me.
They keep winning both damn houses
From us DemocRAT louses,
After Hillary, how much fucking worse could it be?

And from the Unlicensed Anderson Laureate (It’s not terribly mean-spirited this time, but then, he’s a Gloating Republican):
Is there hope for the old GOP?
Things looked bleak and depressing to me.
But the Dems had no salvation
For what was ailing this nation,
Surely not with Obama or Crooked Hillary.

The first line of next week’s limerick is:
“What if Santa turned out to be gay?”

MORE AWARD WINNING PROSE AND POETRY LATER