WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17, 2016
Zeroing In On Slick Willie
At this morning’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Conservatives should all take aim at Bill Clinton.
“You bet” Kane explained, “We should never miss an opportunity to go after the former Pants-Dropper-in- Chief! He was the closest thing we ever got to have a real Black man as President.”
*He played the sax.
*He smoked weed.
*He had his way with ugly white women.
*Even now? Look at him … His wife is running for president, and he’s still dreaming about interns!
*Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America’s shelves this week with “ClintonSoup,” in honor of one of the nation’s most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a weenie in hot water.
*Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will be built in Canada.
*When asked what he thought about foreign affairs, Clinton replied, “I don’t know, I never had one” “I swear”
*The Clinton revised judicial oath: “I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know.”
*Clinton will be recorded in history as the only President to do Hanky Panky between the Bushes.
“Not only that,” Hurley the Historian added, “Today (August 17) is the eighteenth anniversary of the date in 1998 when Bill Clinton testified before a grand jury that he had had an “inappropriate” relationship with former intern Monica Lewinsky, and that night, he apologized to the American people in a nationally televised address.”
“And isn’t it funny,” Kane added, “Tonight we probably won’t see a reminder of that on the Liberal Network TV Nightly News?”
The Whistleblower Newswire Is The Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda
And The Blower believes the next 83 days will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance the Liberal Agenda. 