Your Official Publication of Record For The Conservative Agenda

SATURDAY, AUGUST 13, 2016
How The Olympics Began

Hurley the Historian says with everybody watching the USA winning all those medals in Rio these days, The Blower would like to present a piece of Greek history for you this afternoon.

2,500 years ago a slave call girl from Sardinia named Gedophamee (pronounced Get-offa’-me) was attending the first athletic festival in Greece.

That festival had no official name.

In those days the athletes performed naked. To prevent unwanted arousal while competing, the men imbibed freely on a drink containing saltpeter, before and throughout the variety of events.

At the opening ceremonial parade of this first great event, Gedophamee observed the first wave of naked athletic males marching toward her and she exclaimed: “Oh! Limp pricks!”

Over the next two and a half millennia that expression morphed into “Olympics.”

Another version of the Gedophamee legend comes from Jack Ellison.

Long, long ago in a land far away
Was this slave girl named Gedophamee
Worked as a prostitute to earn some dough
Name was pronounced “Get-offa-me!”

At an athletic festival in Roman times
Male athletes performed in the buff
Preventing arousal while they competed
They imbibed and downed other stuff

At the opening gala ceremonial parade
One lady exclaimed “Oh! Limp Dicks!”
Ever since that momentous occasion
It has morphed into the “Olympics”

© Jack Ellison 2013

This is the Official Legend of Gedophamee. Any Legend of Gedophamee you may see published anywhere else would surely be a fake.