SUNDAY, AUGUST 7, 2016
Today’s Good News And Bad News
From Our Local Political Junkie We’ll Call “Cincy Dave”

TRUMP PLANS TO REDECORATE THE WHITE HOUSE
Trump announced his plans for what he called a “big improvement on the rainbow-colored Obama White House.”   Initial plans called for solid gold exterior (and interior) but Trump thought that might look too ostentatious, at least for his first term.   Also, he doesn’t want to give the impression that only billionaires are welcome because some mere multimillionaires will also be invited.

TINY HANDS
Marco was right! – Donald Trump really does have small hands. Even though he is 6’3” in height, his hands are smaller than the average adult male. Here’s the proof: There is still no word on the size of any other parts of his anatomy. We will have to rely on his statement, “Believe me, there is no problem.” We all know how reliable any statements are that are preceded or followed by the words, “believe me.”

Marco was right! – Donald Trump really does have small hands.  Even though he is 6’3” in height, his hands are smaller than the average adult male.   Here’s the proof: There is still no word on the size of any other parts of his anatomy.   We will have to rely on his statement, “Believe me, there is no problem.”   We all know how reliable any statements are that are preceded or followed by the words, “believe me.”

IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID!
The much-maligned economy doesn’t seem to care about the presidential race, or politics at all. Like old man river, it just keeps rolling along. On the other hand, politics does care about the economy. Friday’s jobs report for July was strong, (+255,000) which led to another surge in the stock market, so the refrain, “It’s all Obama’s fault” just doesn’t ring true. Obama’s approval rating is looking pretty good these days too. Maybe Mitch McConnell should get back to work, trying to make sure that he is a two-term president.

If Hillary is running for Obama’s third term, the economic news is good news for her.  DemocRATS claim Fox News is having a difficult time spinning the good economy to look terrible but they still keep on trying. Baghdad Bob may be on Fox soon to tell everyone how bad it is going for the Obama/Hillary team.  

GOP, TRUMP GO FROM ‘UNRAVELING’ TO ‘BREAK GLASS’ MODE
Although this analogy is probably about Fire Alarms, it is one that Pinball fans may also appreciate.  

TRUMP CALLS HILLARY “A MONSTER”  
The nickname, “Crooked Hillary” just isn’t getting it done anymore for The Donald, so he has ramped up his personal attacks.  Yesterday, Trump unveiled a new nasty name for his opponent: “Hillary Rotten Clinton.” He also called her a “dangerous liar” whose only achievement in life was avoiding an FBI indictment.   And he’s back to his old tricks of deriding his opponent’s appearance, (as he did in the primaries with Carly), telling the crowd at his rally: “Now you tell me she looks presidential, folks. I look presidential.”     (that will really help with the G.O.P.’s outreach to women)  He also said “She is a totally unhinged person. She’s unbalanced … Honestly, I don’t think she’s all there.”  Additionally, he stated the she is “a monster” Formerly, Trump called her the Devil, but now she is a monster.    We don’t know which is worse.

Will Hillary respond to his ad hominem attacks?  Probably not.   She probably thinks that these kinds of comments will hurt him more than her.

REPUBLICANS FLEEING TRUMP’S SHADOW
The NYT reports that many Republican politicians are trying to dissociate themselves from Trump.   At least three members of congress have already stated that they will not vote for him and will instead vote for Hillary or a third party candidate.    Most of them who are not in a perfectly safe district or state are in a real dilemma because they don’t want to alienate the Trump loyalists either, so what are they to do? 

Regarding the above report, here was the best comment about that situation:  

“There’s an old apocryphal tale about the Bedouin sitting out a sandstorm in his tent. His camel asks to let it put its nose in, out of the scouring wind. Then its eyes. Then its ears. And so on, and so on, until all of the camel is inside the tent, leaving no room for the Bedouin, who is out in the storm.  The Republicans let the radical right put its nose into the tent when Obama was first elected. Now a full-blown birther occupies the space, and the GOP is out in the sandstorm, getting rightfully blasted.” [READ MORE HERE]  

HILLARY “SHORT CIRCUITS”
Instead of just admitting that she has been lying about what the F.B.I. Director said, Hillary said, “I short circuited in my statements.”  This is a great new euphemism meaning “lied.”  Of course, Trump also “short circuits” pretty often himself, as do just about all politicians.    Before this, of course, we had other ways of saying “lied”, most commonly falling back on “misstated”, or “misspoke.”    One of the best ever was Nixon’s famous admission that his statements were “at variance” with the facts.   Herein might be the answer to lying politicians.  With all this short circuiting going on all the time, why don’t both parties just hire a bunch of electricians to fix the problem?  It might at least save a lot on fuses and worn-out breakers.  

Note: It didn’t take the Trump campaign long to come up with an ad covering some of Hillary’s recent gaffes-calling Trump her husband, saying she was going to raise taxes on the middle class, and that she may have ‘short-circuited’ when claiming the FBI Director said she was telling the truth about her emails.

NO NEW MEANINGLESS POLLS TODAY
Although even God has to take a day off once in a while, we never do.

More Good News And Bad News Tomorrow