TUESDAY, MAY 17, 2016
Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers
The big day has finally arrived, but will the National Spotlight really be on Kentucky tonight to see the results of the Bluegrass Primary Elections? —Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
Today’s turnout in Kentucky might not match The Blower’s single digit prediction, but it could be the lowest turnout in Kentucky’s history. —Chief Election Official Alison Wondergams Grimes
Just remember what Jesse “The Body” Ventura always said: “If you don’t vote, you’ll be leaving the decision to someone even dumber than you are.” —Your Quote for Today Committee
People who don’t vote have no right to complain. —Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane
For weeks, everybody’s been wondering if history would once again repeat itself, like when TEA Party Candidate Rand Paul sent the establishment’s Trey Grayson back to Harvard in shame from his ass-kicking in that U.S. Senate Race GOP Primary. —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo
Watching the Bluegrass Primary results in 2010 was the worst night of my life. —Trey Grayson
Please don’t ask which Disingenuous DemocRAT Senatorial Candidate I’d prefer to face. —Rand Paul
Did Rand Paul even support me for Senate Minority Leader? —Bitch McConnell
Today’s 2016 Bluegrass DemocRAT Presidential Primary was too call, especially since there haven’t been any recent polls showing a clear favorite. —Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen
Does anybody remember how long it’s been since did my crazy election picks in The Blower? —Nathan “Cornbread” Smith
Does a photo op with the UK Wildcats count as campaigning in Kentucky? —Bluegrass Politicians
Why are there so many unsolved murders in Kentucky? Because there are no dental records and everyone has the same DNA. —Your Late Night TV Jokewatcher
What if we said “No Republican has ever won the White House without first winning Kentucky?” —Former Fishwrapper Howard Wilkinson, who has never been heard from again at WNKU-FM in Northern Kentucky
And we’re doing our best to keep all that “Little Money” out of politics. —Super PACs
Remember what we always say: “A vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil. — Loony Libertarians
About this time in 1999, Disgraced Former DemocRAT President Bill Clinton apologized to the Chinese for bombing their embassy in Belgrade, Yugoslavia. Nowadays, Rambo-bama doesn’t have time to apologize— he just keeps on droning, and our Glory Hound in the White House will be spiking the football every chance he gets for the next 247 days of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached. —Hurley the Historian
Does anybody remember when I couldn’t do any better job managing Campbell County Sheriff Jeff Kidwell’s re-election campaign, than I did trying to help my protégé Rick “The Batboy” Robinson when he ran against Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams in the 1998 GOP Congressional Primary. —“BeanBall Jim” Bunning
Where can we go to “unregister” so we stop getting all those Robocalls? —Registered Republicans
We’re waiting to see how many of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and especially 19, call us to ask about our irrelevant idiotorial endorsements to take to the polls today. —Skaggie Maggie’s Feckless Fishwrappers
Even if there are only one or two races to vote on? —Dumbed-Down Fishwrap Subscribers
After tonight, what will we have to do to get our names in The Blower again? —Will T. Scott and Geoff Young
The problem with this year’s primary was that there were not enough negative attack ads. —Greedy TV Ad Salesmen
I bet you Blower Bashers are sorry you didn’t have me to kick around anymore after I didn’t run for re-election in 2014. —Scarry Garry Edmonson
Covering the news in Kentucky is a big problem because it’s like a whole different state. —TV 19’s Trish the Dish
When did they change Kentucky’s State Motto to “Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names?” —TV5’s Sheree Paolello
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ex-Governor Steven L. Beshear, whose name is still on the state sign above. 
— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —
Sometimes The Blower makes fun of so-called Voting Rights Activists to show that “whining about Early Voting and Voter Fraud” is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a Disingenuous DemocRAT.
BLUEGRASS PRIMARY HOTLINE
e-mail your voter fraud sightings today.
Some Bluegrass bashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally Bluegrass Bashing subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Dirty Dozen- President Obama’s Model Mosque
Published on May 13, 2015 Obama touts the Islamic Society of Boston as a model for his Countering Violent Extremism program. Then why are there at least 12 jihadists associated with it?
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here
