MONDAY, MAY 16, 2016

More Bluegrass Background Material

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says elections appear different in Kentucky because of all those different offices Bluegrass politicians are running for.

Besides the usual assortment of local candidates for mayor and council in city elections, candidates for representative and senate in state elections, candidates for commissioner, sheriff, prosecutor (called county attorney), and clerk in county elections, we also have candidates for county offices like judge executive, property value administrator, jailer, constable, and magistrates, whatever the hell all those officers. And because tomorrow is only the Primary Election, both DemocRATS and Republicans will be electing candidates for all those offices who’ll be running against each other this November in 176 more days.

Plus, there’s no “early voting” in the Kentucky.  They only have “absentee voting.”  And to get an absentee ballot, voters actually have to write or go to the County Clerk’s Office and apply for one.  Applicants must state a valid reason, under oath, why they can’t vote on Election Day like everyone else.  It’s not like Ohio where you can go “vote early and often” just because Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, Free-Stuff Dispensing Liberals, Rhyming Reverends, and Union Goons told you to, while Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP and his asleep-at-the-switch group forgot to do anything about that. 

The Blower says regardless of the outcome of tomorrow’s primary elections in Kentucky, consequences for the local GOP will be continue to be profound, because no matter what happens, the struggle for the soul of the local Republican Party will continue. With such low voter turnout likely, it would not take that many votes to win, and TEA Party Patriots (if they’re still energized) could send another strong message to the establishment, along with those nattering nabobs of negativism William Safire created so many years ago.

Remember when “Beanball Jim” Bunning called Bill Clinton the most corrupt, amoral, and despicable president he’d ever seen? We can only wonder what the Old Beanballer now really has to say about the guy who took his Senate seat after he retired.

With The Blower’s help, this year’s campaigns seem a lot nastier than ever, last-minute mudslinging and dirty tricks are the order of the day, every candidate claims he’s more Conservative than the other gal or guy, and even has a poll that says he’s the one who’s way ahead. A record amount of money continues to be spent trying to get these bozos elected, and nobody’s quite sure where all this fat kat kash is coming from. Still, the Ghost of Richard Nixon says all of these people are giving politics a bad name. Hurley the Historian says on about this time in 2000, the bones of President James Garfield’s spine were on display at the National Museum of Health and Medicine, but since then, there’s been little evidence of any lawmakers’ spines in the nation’s capital. No wonder our Quote for Today Committee chose Will Rogers’ “We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs,” but we sort of like George Bernard Shaw’s, “Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.”

It’s no wonder all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, will continue to have the kind of state government they truly deserve. And there’s a group of people in our political arena who have failed time and again, and now they want another chance. This time, they promise to do the right thing— suckers!

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo and the legendary J.R. Hatfield also assisted with this e-dition.

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Some negative nattering items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally negative nattering subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

JIM BUNNING: As Pitcher and Senator, Mean & Heartless

 (Sent in by Bluegrass Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson, who says please don’t remind him what happened at his Primary Election Night Victory Party that time he ran against Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams in 1998.)

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