MONDAY, MAY 16, 2016

Happy International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia Day, Everybody!

At least that’s what Obama’s White House claims in this Official Statement: “Michelle and I join our fellow Americans and others around the world in commemorating the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia tomorrow on May 17. We take this opportunity to reaffirm that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) rights are human rights, to celebrate the dignity of every person, and to underscore that all people deserve to live free from fear, violence, and discrimination, regardless of whom they choose to sodomize.”

The big day must’ve caught everybody by surprise, since we didn’t even see a single word about “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” anywhere on the front page of Sunday’s Fishwrap, and the “Forum Section” featured a column promoting the wonderfulness of all those Fishwrappers stories about the Pike County murders. This never would’ve happened if disgraced former editrix Wedgie Washburn hadn’t been bounced out on her bony ass.

Our Gregarious Grammarian says the word should be “whom,” not “who,” but for all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, 9, 12, and 19, as Mrs. Bill Clinton might say, “What difference would that make?”

Over at Citizens for Community Values, Homophobic Transphobe-in-Chief Phil Burr-ess didn’t even have a chance to blast out a fund-raising e-mail to protest the event.

At Cincinnati City Hall, Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback didn’t have time to organize a rally at on Fountain Square.

RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Sodomy” Portman didn’t mention a word about tomorrow’s “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” when he toured a drug addiction treatment facility in Cincinnati, even after that time Ohio First District Conservative Congressman Steve Chabothead accused Hillary of being for “Marriage Equality,” the same as Portman.

CH Snitch at 1000 Main Street says Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters didn’t even think to include pot-smoking hermaphrodites that time he announced he was supporting the legalization of marijuana.

Whistleblower Alternate Life-Style Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis said last night prancing perverts didn’t know the first thing about tomorrow’s “Homophobia and Transphobia Day” celebration at Simon Says, one of the oldest gay bars in Cincinnati, frequented by some of the oldest gay patrons in town.

In Anderson, Forrest Gump School Board Members said it was OK to put up flyers promoting “Homophobia and Transphobia Day in all their transsexual-inclusive restrooms and locker rooms..”

Whistleblower Senior Spoiled Sports Editor Andy FurBall says the Cincinnati Reds didn’t have time to order 30,000 Homophobe and Transphone Bobble Butt Dolls to give away at Wednesday Night’s game.

In Northern Kentucky, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo remembers last year right before the 2015 Primary Elections when Conservative Blogger Michael Adams leaked accusations that the Republican Gubernatorial Candidate had abused a left-handed Lithuanian Lesbian in College, and that Matt Bevin once attended a cock fight where gay guys were fighting with their cocks.

Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says according to a recent Gallup survey, less than 1% (actually only .8 %) is part of a same-sex couple, but Political Correctness dictates that .8% of the population may tell the other 99.2% how to live.

Meanwhile, Former President George W. Bush delivered his first commencement speech since he left the White House last year at Southern Methodist University. While defending religious liberty in the aftermath of the gay marriage legislation debate in states such as Indiana and Arkansas, Bush remarked, “It is essential for the nation’s future that we remember that the freedom to worship who we want, and how we want – or not to worship at all – is a core belief of our founding.”

We are going to have lunch at Chick Fil A tomorrow, not to celebrate “Homophobia and Transphobia Day,” but we wanted to eat there yesterday and it was closed because it was Sunday.