Daily Archives: May 6, 2016

Special “Rushing Our Border” E-dition

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FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2016            

Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers  

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On Cinco de Mayo, please don’t ask if all of the ballots for our free, fair, open, and honest elections in Hamilton County should also be printed in Spanish. —Hamilton County Board of Elections

image005Do we need Spanish translators for all those uncontested city council races in Cheviot, Harrison, Norwood, and Sharonville? —Hamilton County RINO Party

image005Our illegal voters already know to vote. —Hamilton County Dem-Labor Party Chairman Tim Burka  

image005Stealth Elections are a great time to try to sneak through a tax increase. —Tax-and-Spenders in Arlington Heights, Elmwood Place, Winton Woods, Lockland, Northwest Local School District, Cheviot, Forest Park, and Harrison

image005Please don’t ask why we urged people to vote “No” last year on the Northwest Schools Levy. Republicans for Higher Taxes

image005image006Last weekend on the Soccer Fields on Kellogg, we ignored that sign some gringo put up that said “Bebidas alcohólicas prohibidas.” —Moises, Julio, Alfredo, and Jose

image005It wasn’t fair. We won’t even be getting to vote to recall the Forrest Gump School Board for taking “appropriate inaction” regarding that so-called investigation into Scandal-plagued Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson’s activities after they finally emerge from executive hiding and attempt to cover their asses for hiring “Smiling Dallas” in the first place. —Angry Andersonians

image005Turpin Teachers had already been instructed that on all future Spanish tests, my son’s score will be “Magnifico!” —Smiling Dallas  

image005Our Hispano-Filipino employees in Manila also celebrated image005“Cinco de Mayo” while they weere mislabeling all communications from The Blower’s computer as “El Spamo.” —Cincinnati Bell

image005And on “Cinco De Mayo,” the word for a gay guy is “El Homosexual.” —Cincinnati Clown-cil Gay Chris Squealback

image005What do you think “Jonrón Grand Glam” means on “Cinco de Mayo?” —Jumbo Diaz

image005I dreamed I drank the world largest Margarita on Cinco de Mayo and woke up to find salt all over the rim of my toilet bowl. —Larry “The Cable Guy”

image005Did you see those hot girls I sponsored at Cincy-Cinco on Fountain Square mud wrestling in an inflatable pool filled with guacamole? —Jerry Springer

image005Which one of my extra nacho cheesy Cinco de Mayo pick-up lines do you like best: “I want to taste your fish taco,”  “Hey chica! There’s like, image008a fiesta in my pantalones and you and your amigas are invited,” or “Do I have protection? Oh yeeee-ah, I’m wearing a rubber sombrero.” Señor Andrés Pappas

image005Every Cinco de Mayo I always remember what a hottie Sasha Rionda used to be on TV12. —Horny in Harrison

image005This year I showed how much I loved Hispanics by eating a Taco Bowl made in the Trump Tower Grill. —Donald Trump

image005Is tomorrow going to be a great Kentucky Derby or what?  —Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo

image005I really like it when jockeys use a whip. —DemocrAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob

image005Never bet on “Short Leash,” he doesn’t finish. —Miss Vicki

image005image011That’s why we chose Will Rogers’, “Money, horse racing and women are three things the boys just can’t figure out.” —Your Quote for Today Committee

image005Did any of those little jockeys like to ride bareback? —Nobody Doesn’t Like Jenni Lee

image005We like it when they mention us when they sing “My Old Kentucky Home.” —Gay Darkies

image005We always favor a jockey who likes to come from behind. —Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis

image005Didn’t everybody you know bet on Mubtaahij? —Turfway Touts

image005What the hell does “Mubtaahij” mean anyway? —Goof Doofus

image005On the anniversary of the date John Scopes was charged for teaching evolution in Tennessee, all candidates for a Darwin Award will get a free admission. —The Lizard Museum

image005image013Don’t forget Opening Day for my Y’All Ville baseball team is coming up in just a couple of weeks, and they haven’t lost a single game yet. —Mayor Blondie Whalen

image005Isn’t it amazing that this year “Cinco De Mayo” comes on May 5? —Trish the Dish, TV 19 News

image005If it came a day later, would we call it “Sexto de Mayo?” —WCPO-TV Helicopter Reporter Dan Carroll (Formerly with TV 19)

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  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer   

Sometimes The Blower uses racial and ethnic slurs to show that bigotry of  any kind is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t a total retard.

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          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Gay Darkies.

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“I SURVIVED THE FLYING PIG MARATHON” HOTLINE

e-mail your T-shirt sizes today.

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Some vile-and-disgusting items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally vile-and-disgusting subscribers. image007

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

 When is Cinco de Mayo? 

image017Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.image007

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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image018image017Note: people who work in government offices should be receiving The Whistleblower on their home computers because we do not approve of public servants wasting time reading this trash on over-taxed payers’ time (except when you have something to snitch).

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