THURSDAY, APRIL 28, 2016
TODAY’S REALLY BIG STORY
LIMBAUGH: TRUMP WILL MAKE AMERICANS ‘ORGASMIC’ IF HE ‘UNLOADS’ ON CLINTON
Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh offered a strange description Thursday of how the Republican electorate might react if Donald Trump mercilessly attacks Hillary Clinton in the general election, as he’s frequently promised to do. “If Trump is the nominee, and if he does unload on Hillary Clinton, let me just tell you something,” Limbaugh warned his viewers. “You do not know how many gazillion Americans are going to be delirious and orgasmic with delight and support.” He continued, “There are gazillions of Americans who have had to suppress, have had to swallow, have had to just sit there and take whatever the Clintons have gotten away with since they entered the public national scene in 1992.”
Other Stories The Blower Will Be Tracking Tonight Include:
OBAMA’S LEGACY: ECONOMY STILL IN THE CRAPPER
(First President Not to See Single Year of 3% Growth)
The U.S. economy expanded in the first quarter at the slowest pace in two years as American consumers reined in spending and companies tightened their belts in response to weak global financial conditions and a plunge in oil prices.
Gross domestic product rose at a 0.5 percent annualized rate after a 1.4 percent fourth-quarter advance, Commerce Department data showed Thursday. The increase was less than the 0.7 percent median projection in a Bloomberg survey and marked the third straight disappointing start to a year.
SATANISTS ARE FURIOUS THAT BOEHNER COMPARED TED CRUZ TO THE DARK LORD
Wednesday night, Disgraced Ex-House Speaker John Boehner bluntly called GOP candidate Ted Cruz “Lucifer in the flesh.” When asked for his opinion about the Texas senator, Boehner said, “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.” It turns out that the Satanic Temple agrees with Boehner’s sentiments — but they said there’s no way Cruz is the living incarnate of Satan.
EVERYBODY’S WONDERING WHO MIGHT BE INCLUDED IN THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION
RUDY GIULIANI IN DRAG SMOOCHING DONALD TRUMP
FLOOR FLUSHER JEFF RUBY RENEGES ON REWARD
AFTER GETTING ALL THAT PUBLICITY FOR OFFERING IT
Four-Flusher Jeff Ruby has officially withdrawn his $25,000 reward for information that leads to the arrest and conviction of any person(s) responsible for the murders in the Pike County multiple homicide case.
COULD KASICH’S BAD TABLE MANNERS INADVERTENTLY HELP TRUMP’S CAMPAIGN?
TODAY’S “STUPID LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD GOES TO OBAMA’S DOOFUS SECRETARY OF STATE
Despite Secretary of State John Kerry’s outspoken demand that America drastically reduce its reliance on fossil fuels, his family investments heavily favor oil, coal and natural gas companies while giving scant attention to renewable energy firms, according to a Daily Caller News Foundation analysis.
In his latest 2105 financial disclosure report obtained by The DCNF, Kerry listed family trust investments in 94 companies involved in the exploration, extraction, storage and transportation of oil, natural gas, coal and liquefied natural gas.
Tonight’s Hill-arity
Tonight’s Best One Liner
Not many years ago, GM made automobiles in Flint, Michigan, and you couldn’t drink the water in Mexico, but After 7+ years of Obama, GM now makes cars in Mexico and you can’t drink the water in Flint!! Go Figure!
Plus We Have These Two Videos You May Not Have Already Seen Sent In By Our Subscribers.
WARNING: RAW TRUTH ABOUT NEW BATHROOM POLICY AT TARGET.
#TargetMissedTheMark
PLUS
Elderly Hispanic Man Supporting Trump Pepper Sprayed By Hispanic Liberal Protesting Him
Earlier Editions Today
“Take Your Daughter to Work Day” (But What If Your Mom’s A Hooker?)
“Cartoon Wars” E-dition (More Political Propaganda From Both Sides Of The Aisle!
“DemocRAT Talking Points Memo” (Where Biased Local Newscasts Begin)
“Conservative Agenda Update” (This One’s So Good We Wish We’d Written It)
“Political Liars Day” (You can always tell because their lips are moving!)
Expect The Battle To Continue For The Next 274* Days Until Noon on Inauguration Day When The Nation Can Begin To Undo All The Damage Obama Has Done.
*1,286 More Days Until “Dee-Day” if you live in Anderson Township
More News Later (Or Most Likely Tomorrow Morning) From The Whistleblower Newsroom