WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27, 2016

Real Tweets from Real Twits

If you want to see what this nation has really become during the “Age of Obama,” just look at the twaddle people are Tweeting to each other these days. —Stunned Sociologists
We’re all Tweeting more but actually communicating less. —Ordinary Dumbed-down, Self-absorbed, Media-influenced, celebrity-obsessed, politically-correct, short-attention-span People
Look what happened when we started sending each other e-mails. —Lazy Letter Writers
And just look at how Tweets are replacing meaningful dialogue. —Gifted Conversationalists
You won’t believe how many “Friends” we have. —The Whistleblower Faux FaceBook Page
Tweets make our jobs easier. —English Teachers and Grammarians
Remember when we used to spend hours each day writing letters? —Lonely Lovers
The so-called social media doesn’t make people more sociable.—Divorce Attorneys
Twitter makes it easy for people to spread rumors and lies. —Whistleblower Gossip Columnist Linda Libel
These days, we have couples text each other to express their true feelings. —Marriage Counselors

Twitter makes it easy to spew “Hate Speech” too. —Networking Nazis
Just think how we create havoc with Twitter. —Irresponsible Celebrities
Social contact enables people with dementia to maintain their level of functioning longer. —Recognized Researchers
When we were teenagers, we actually spent hours every day talking to each other on the phone. —Geezer Citizens, Trying to Remember
The best part about getting all those Tweets at the newspaper is they don’t take long to read. —Lazy Reporters
And printing somebody’s Tweet is easier than getting a real quote. —Furloughed Fishwrappers
Why do you think they keep firing our lazy reporters. —Metro Mole
Using Twitter, somebody wouldn’t have to call all those press conferences to get my name in the papers. —“JayWalking Joe” Deters
Sending out Tweets makes it easy to keep the media interested in your Ohio Senate campaign. —Rob “Fighting for Facebook” Portman
Twitter makes it easy to stay in touch when you’re out of the country. —“Junketing Jean” Schmidt
Or just plain “Out of Touch.” —Alex T., Mall Cop GOP
With Twitter, I certainly don’t even need a press secretary. —“Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup
Scotty loves it whenever I Tweet him. —Cincinnati’s Dainty DemocRAT Mayor Mark Mallory
Disgruntled former followers can Tweet you anonymously. —Goof Doofus
Did everybody see my Tweet about the end of my Bluegrass Bar Association suspension?—Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters
Who started this Twitter madness anyhow? —Hurley the Historian
Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to Tweet free. —Your Quote for Today Committee
You won’t believe how much all those suckers are willing to pay for cell phones and wireless service. — AT&T, Verizon, Sprint Nextel, and T-Mobile

Now to show you what Tweeting has become these days, here are a few Twitters about Donald Trump’s Foreign Policy Speech today

— Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

Sometimes The Blower ridicules Twitterers to show that Time-wasting Tweeting is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who isn’t reading this message on his cell phone.

This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially Faux FaceBook Friends.

TWITTERING TWITS HOTLINE

e-mail your Terrible Tweets today.

Some social networking items in today’s Blower were sent in by our social networking subscribers.

Twitterers VIDEO of the Day

Code Class at Twitter!

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.