WEDNESDAY, APRIL 13, 2016 

Because Tax Day Isn’t Until April 18 This Year

         Disingenuous DemocRATS and Obama and Hillary Supporters in the Press may still be blaming Donald Trump for everything that’s ever gone wrong in America since the Battle of Bunker Hill, but TAX DAY actually falls on April 18 this year, giving us three extra days to prepare our annual fiduciary sacrifice to the Internal Revenue Service. And whom do we have to thank?

How about Abraham Lincoln?

The deadline for filing federal taxes is April 15, unless its fall on a Saturday or Sunday, in which case Tax Day is moved to Monday, the next business day. But since 2005, Washington D.C., where the IRS is headquartered, celebrates Emancipation Day on April 16, the day in 1862 that Lincoln signed the Compensated Emancipation Act. It freed slaves in the District of Columbia, with the federal government paying slave owners up to $300 per slave. More than 3,000 were freed.

(And yes, this all happened decades before Congress passed a constitutional amendment establishing a permanent federal income tax in 1913.)

In D.C., when Emancipation Day falls on a Saturday, as it does this year, the celebration moves back a day to Friday. And because Washington, D.C. holidays are essentially considered federal holidays for government workers in the capital, the next business day is Monday.

And when you think about it, 2016 is a leap year, so you actually get four extra days to finish your taxes. That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Larry the Cable Guy’s “Git er done!”

And while we’re talking about taxes, The Blower will now once again offer our three common-sense suggestions to fix the entire tax-and-spending mess that America has become:

No withholding. No phony refunds. If folks had to write really big checks on TAX DAY, they’d actually know how much they’re paying.

Until we have a simple flat tax without all that paperwork, over-paid Congressmen should be forced to fill out every one of their constituents’ tax forms for free.

Hold EVERY election on TAX DAY!

We wonder if “Bronze Star Brad” Wenschmidt or any of those Latter-Day Anti-Taxers you heard speaking at the Cincinnati TEA Party’s Big Tax Day Rally on Fountain Square could ever come up with something as simple as this. If they did, what a wonderful world it would be.

You can read more earth-shattering news coming up in the next e-dition of The Whistleblower Newswire.