FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2016

Taxation WITH Representation Isn’t So Great Either!

           Last week, everybody at the Whistleblower Newswire was watching videos of Obama doing the Tango on “Dancing With The Lame Duck Presidents,” so Charles Foster Kane went to have his taxes done, just so he could find out how much of his hard-earned money would be confiscated by the IRS on April 18 for Obama and our Crooks in Congress just to piss away.

            Unfortunately, our Beloved Whistleblower Publisher hadn’t been heard from all that day, although somebody did say they saw him inhaling a Bloomin’ Onion (a mere 1,959 calories) at a bribe lunch with an elected official running for office this November at the Outback restaurant on Five Mile Road in Anderson. The Blower is still waiting on confirmation on that report, especially since everybody knows how low a profile the Voice of the Conservative Agenda usually keeps whenever he ventures out in public.   

            And we were hoping when he finally returned, he’ll be calmed down enough after hearing about his taxes and that elected official’s plans for public spending so we could at least put out our scheduled “Over-Taxed Payers’ Angst” E-dition on Saturday.

                                                               The Whistleblower Staff   

 

Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:

          Why, it’s none other than Charles Foster Kane’s Rich Uncle Milburn Pennybags, who avoids paying taxes on his vast real estate holdings, along with an almost monopolistic control of several railroads and utilities.

Uncyclopedia describes Milburn “Rich Uncle” Pennybags (also known as Mr. Monopoly or the Chinchilla Don) as a high-powered real estate financier and leader of the Monopliano crime family. First emerging onto the scene in 1936, Pennybags quickly gained mass notoriety for his flashy style and expensive tastes, as well as his allegedly ruthless treatment of those who dared defy him. [READ MORE HERE]

That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting rich people who avoid paying taxes, is proud to select Kane’s Rich Uncle Milburn to be this week’s guest editor and choose three items plus a Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors, and our Quote for Today Committee chose Leona Helmsley’s “We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes.”

• “Many American-Made Companies Are Now Under Foreign Control” by John Olen

           When foreign countries own companies and businesses that many Americans purchase goods from, all of that money that would be going back into the U.S. economy is now going overseas. This leads to devastating consequences as we’re seeing now, with job losses and unsettling unemployment. It is also placing the United States in a position where we’re coming to rely on foreign governments for our needs. We’re seeing this already with China, a country with which we have an alarming trade deficit and over $1 trillion in debt.

Here are some of America’s most famous brands currently held in foreign hands:

• •Budweiser, now owned by Anheuser-Busch InBev N.V., which is based in Leuven, Belgium
• •Alka-Seltzer, now owned by German company Bayer Schering Pharma AG
• •Ben & Jerry’s, now owned by British-Dutch Unilever
• •AMC theaters, now owned by the Chinese
• •7-Eleven, now owned by the Japanese company, Seven & I Holdings
• •Woman’s Day Magazine, now owned by the French company, Hachette Filipacchi Médias, S.A
• •Purina, now owned by the Swiss company, Nestle
• •Gerber, now owned by the Swiss pharmaceutical giant, Novartis
• •Firestone, now owned by the Japanese Bridgestone Corporation
• •Citgo, now owned by the government of Venezuela
• •French’s Mustard, now owned by Reckitt Benckiser, a British conglomerate
• •Frigidaire, now owned by Sweden’s AB Electrolux
• •The Plaza Hotel in New York City, now owned by Israeli billionaire Yitzhak Tshuva’s El-Ad Group
• •Trader Joes, now owned by German billionaires Karl and Theo Albrecht
• •Dial soap, now owned by Henkel KGaA, based in Dusseldorf, Germany
• •Sunglass Hut, now owned by Italian eyewear seller Luxottica Group—–

  Are you starting to get the picture?  

• “POST TURTLE” by Matt Bevin

Yesterday at a Boondoggle County barber shop, the topic got around to the fact that there were still 295 more unproductive days left during America’s Dark Ages during Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

A customer said, ‘Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘post turtle.’”

Not being familiar with the term, the barber asked him what a “post turtle” was.

The customer said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle.’” The customer saw a puzzled look on the barber’s face, so he continued to explain: “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there!”

• “WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY” by Oliver Klozhoff

Don’t forget to mark your calendars.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.

So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Daylight time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers.

Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America !

P.S. It is your patriotic duty to inform others.

If you don’t send this to at least 1 person, you’re a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are possibly aiding and abetting terrorists!

• AND A QUICKIE by Newt Gingrich

Here’s the best Bartender Joke ever:

A socialist, an illegal immigrant, and a Muslim walk into a bar…

And the Bartender asks, “What’ll you have, Mr. President?”

These items are perfect to forward to all of your Internet Buddies and Facebook Friends with too much time on their hands.

Stories We’re Working On

APRIL FOOL’S: VOTES FOR TRUMP, BUT NO DELEGATES!

RNC Lays Groundwork for ‘Other’

ROVE: ‘Fresh face’ might be best

CLINTON AIDES get their story straight; Unite on FBI strategy

OBAMA’S SCOTUS PICK Falsely Blamed Benghazi On Youtube Video

JEFF RUBY Caves, Begs Donald Trump To Eat At His Restaurant

JOHNNY BENCH Angry About Opening Day

Whistleblower Web Poll

This week, here’s how the first 17,648 Whistleblower Web Poll respondents said they plan to get out of paying any federal income tax by midnight on April 15:
(A) Lie about their income: 2%
(B) Make up lots of expenses: 1%
(C) Let the tax cheats at H&R Goniff do their return: 1%
(D) File an extension: 96%

Note: Everything we write doesn’t have to be so damn cynical and mean-spirited, it’s just so much more fun that way!

OVER-TAXED PAYERS HOT LINE

E-mail your tax cheating tips today

Some non-deductible items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally non-deductible subscribers.

Whistleblower Video of the Day

Donald Trump’s Huge Campaign Announcement

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