SUNDAY, MARCH 27, 2016

This Week’s Top Stories

OUR NUMBER ONE STORY THIS WEEK was Monday’s  “Dumbed Down DemocRAT Diplomacy” (Obama’s Cuban Clusterfuck)

OUR NUMBER TWO STORY THIS WEEK was Tuesday’s Obama’s “Catastrophic Countdown Continues” (Today ISIS Blew Up Brussels)

 AND OUR THREE STORY THIS WEEK was In “Wednesday’s Wild Cards” From The Whistleblower Newsroom (Belgium Burns, Isis Advances, Iran Is Building Nukes And Obama’s On A South American Vacation Dancing)

 Edward Cropper’s World

Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER Shows Us:

Obama Poses in Front of Che Guevara Image in Cuba’s Revolution Square –My Version; Just a Tip Toe Through The Tulips; and Do You Really Want A Man Like This In The White House? You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.

 This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda

Now that those Murdering Muslim Terrorists have everybody’s attention, this would be a really good time for Conservatives to announce their specific plan for Destroying ISIS.

  THIS CAMPAIGN, IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT FOR CONSERVATIVES TO DESTROY OUR ENEMIES. 

The Blower believes the next 226 days will be the most important period in American History for our non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press will continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.

But as The Blower predicted, news coverage will continue to be Biased and Dishonest to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, and watching Ryan and McConnell these days is enough to make some Real Republicans say “Screw it,” and become Libertarians, as if that would do anybody any good. 

Meanwhile, some other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.

This Week’s Liberal Liar Award

In a brief Easter weekend radio address, President Obama vowed to decimate the self-proclaimed Islamic State, but he said the United States will do so by offering an example of freedom, tolerance and open society, repeating his promise to bring in 100,000 “refugees.”

 

Whistleblower War on Political Correctness

Earlier this week, Trump foreign policy adviser Senator Jeff Sessions went “On the Record” on political correctness and Obama’s and the left’s refusal to say “radical Islam.”

And Every Day, More People Are Finally Catching On That Political Correctness Is Destroying America.

Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, rather than mailing in absentee ballots.

Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in-Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: Q. Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? A. To find a tight seal.

 Aging Andersonians

 That gaggle of Senior Citizens who showed up at the recent Trustees Meeting to present their signed petition demanding the Township find another organization willing to lose money to operate their center so it can remain open, might be in luck. One of the trustees (whose name you would know) has just advised The Blower about the identity of a company that just might agree to be the Geezer Center’s new operator. We understand the Soylent Corporation has been successfully working with senior citizens for quite some time. 

 Bluegrass Blasts

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo told us earlier today in our “Savior Sunday E-dition that the word “Easter” comes from the Latin “estrus,” meaning “heat.” That’s why Bluegrass bunnies go crazy this time of year.

The CamBoozler also says it wouldn’t be sacrilegious for Turfway Park to be open on Easter, because it’s always post time somewhere, and you can catch racing action coast-to-coast and border-to-border in the RaceBook, so folks in Northern Kentucky can do what most Christians have been doing on Easter weekend for thousands of year— casting lots on the cloak of Jesus. This year all those $2 bettors hoped they don’t have to wait three days to collect their winnings.

Signs outside NoKY churches for Easter Sunday: “Church Members Only, Trespassers Will Be Baptized,” “Try Our Sundays, They’re Better Than Dairy Queen’s,” and “If You Don’t Like the Way You Were Born, Try Being Born Again.”

But the sign we liked best was the one we spotted in the parking lot. The sign said “This Is Pastor’s Spot. You Park, You Preach.”

Now here’s our favorite Easter sonnet from Gex “Rhymes With Sex” Williams:

Said father rabbit to mother rabbit: “Sex is just a habit!”
Said mother rabbit to father rabbit: “Shoot the habit to me, rabbit!” 

Children’s Sermon: A local pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Now, asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial, but at the same time, there can be unexpected results. When a little boy raised his hand, the pastor called on him and the little boy said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.” It took more than ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

The Feck Stops Here

Down at The Morning Fishwrap, Metro Mole says it’s not hard to figure out how our Feckless Fishwrappers keep getting complicated things like politics and political correctness and diversity wrong, when they can’t even verify the accuracy of their answers to their puzzles before publishing them. Take Saturday’s CRYPTOCRIP for example. If the clue given had been “L equals T” instead of “L equals I,” somebody might’ve gotten the right answer. 

Meanwhile, our Feckless Fishwrappers continue to promote all their favorite Liberal Causes, as well as supporting “Millennials, Public Breast-feeders, Trans-Racists Who Want To Call Themselves Black, Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.

But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say:  It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”