WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16, 2016
We’re Still Staying Around
Hurley the Historian says The Whistleblower Newswire came out of retirement twenty-four years ago last November.
The day after Election Day ’92, we had to return. After witnessing an endless barrage of biased reporting and the unmitigated mess the news media made of Campaign ’92, the results of that year’s elections were not all that surprising.
The voters in ’92, 95% of whom learned all they knew by watching daily distortions on local and national TV newscasts, sent to the White House, a draft-dodging, tax-evading, dope-smoking, pants-dropping, wife-cheating liar whom we predicted would surely drag this nation down to the level of Arkansas.
America got a leader it truly deserved –more arrogant than JFK, fewer scruples than LBJ, rivaling the Carter-Mondale administration for sheer stupidity.
The Devolution of American has continued unabated as this nation marches toward the abyss, and will continue for at least the next 310 days during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
We’d only planned to stay around for a short time. But even after 8,533 days (but who’s counting?) of penetrating reporting, scathing commentary, and shining the light of truth on liars and deceivers, our Kneepad Liberals in the Press (especially Rick Green and his Feckless Fishwrappers) still don’t get it. Their coverage of the Indecision 2016’s Ohio Primary has been just as lazy, stupid, and dishonest. Analysis of last night’s election returns in our Special Whistleblower Insiders E-dition proves it.
Voters had not yet learned what those Loony Libertarians always say, that a vote for the lesser of two evils is still a vote for evil, and people who don’t stand for something will fall for anything, because no matter the outcome, you should never ever vote for a candidate you don’t really believe in. No wonder yesterday’s results were the way they were.
All those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like the ones on Channel 5, voted the way all those television ads told them to. American Voters’ Ignorance and Apathy were indeed overwhelming. So few intelligent voters actually voted, TEA Party Patriots could only come up with a mixed bag of wins and losses, because the Presidential race was rigged by the Ohio Republican Party for Kasich, and so many Disingenuous DemocRATS crossed over to vote in the Republican Primary to vote for John Kasich and “to stop Donald Trump.”
Left-wing lunatics always predict The Whistleblower will cease to exist after every Election Day, and once again this year, that prophecy did not come true. Our Quote for Today Committee says according to Mark Twain, “Reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated,” and as Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane told Political Insiders at today’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, and now with 237 more days until the November Elections, it looks as if we’re going to have to stick around for just a little while longer.
You have only yourselves to blame.
We’re going to do it until they get it right.
So perhaps it’s time once again for Our Beloved Whistleblower Motto (Let’s all say it together):
Because wherever there’s corruption, we’ll be there.
Wherever there’s injustice, we’ll be there.
And wherever there’s a bunch of big guys beating up on a little guy, we’ll be there too…holding the little guy down. And that goes double for RINOs.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially lazy, stupid, and dishonest members of the news media.
My Statement of Principles
I will provide the people of the tri-state with a publication that will tell the news honestly.
I will also provide them with a fighting and tireless champion of their rights as citizens and as human beings.
Signed
Charles Foster Kane
FRAUD AT POLLS HOT LINE
e-mail your sleazy sightings today.
Some dead voter items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally dead voter subscribers.
WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY
Monty Python’s Election Night Special
(Sent in by Faux Facebook Friend Bobby Leach, who showed up at work without his “I voted” sticker saying “I also farted, but they didn’t give me a sticker for that.”)