SATURDAY, MARCH 5, 2016
And The Hypesters Are Calling It “Super Saturday”
The hunt for delegates continued this morning as Republican voters headed to primaries and caucuses as Donald Trump worked to extend his lead over Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and John Kasich in the Republican Presidential Penis Race.
The elections — in Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, and Kentucky fall between last week’s Super Tuesday and March 15, when a swath of big states, including Florida and Ohio, hold votes that could ultimately determine the fate of the race. Today, there are 155 delegates at stake for Republicans.
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo wonders if anybody will show up for the Kentucky Republican caucuses.
Kentucky switched from a primary to a caucus for the first time in more than 30 years.
Former White House hopeful Rand Paul instigated the change last August so he could simultaneously run for president and reelection to the Senate, but ever since the Kentucky senator has suspended his presidential bid, Bluegrass Republican Party leaders have been left scrambling at the last minute to get the vote out and expect a really low voter turnout.
The remaining GOP hopefuls have spent little time in the Bluegrass State. But Trump’s Louisville rally on Tuesday might have brought Kentucky voters a much-needed reminder about its weekend caucus.
“I have real concerns that the Republican Party has been doing an abysmal job getting the word out,” Scott Hofstra, Ted Cruz’s Kentucky volunteer chairman told the Louisville Courier-Journal.
And former U.S. Rep. Anne Northup, Rubio’s Kentucky campaign chairwoman, told the publication, “We have been trying to engage the press because we don’t want it to come and go and for people who live very busy lives with family and work and other activities to go, the next day, ‘Oh, I missed it.’”
A late February poll found Trump with a double-digits lead over the GOP field, but The Blower isn’t quite sure what message the Trump campaign was sending when they allowed Eric ‘Call Me Crazy, Big Mouth, Most Sanctioned, Ambulance Chaser, No Count of a Radio Host, Shameless Self Promoter, Willie Wannabe, Why Haven’t I Been Disbarred, Who Likes Bulldogs and Failed Roadhouse Operator’ Deters to insinuate himself into the proceedings as Trump’s so-called “Northern Kentucky Campaign Manager.”
Meanwhile in Ohio, Governor John Kasich is so desperate for attention, he even invited Disgraced Republican Reprobate Arnold Schwarzenegger to appear at Kasich’s so-called Battleground Ohio Kickoff Rally in Columbus on Sunday. Kasich, who has yet to win a primary or a caucus, will no doubt be handing out copies of his Feckless Fishwrapper endorsement at the event, and has promised to win Ohio’s Republican Primary on March 15, after which The Blower will be covering his concession speech and his announcement that he’s finally quitting his wet dream campaign. 
