WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2, 2016

Tonight’s Really Big Story

Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus says Mitt Romney plans to make a major address on the state of the Republican presidential race tomorrow at the University of Utah in Salt Lake City — fueling speculation among political insiders that he is ready to jump into the contest if the GOP is forced into a brokered convention. Sources say Romney will not actually be endorsing a candidate for the GOP nomination, but he will be bashing of billionaire businessman Donald Trump hard enough to give Trump’s opponents (Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and John Kasich as The Beaver) a little more ammunition when Fox News’ Megyn Kelly gets her revenge on Trump at Thursday Night’s Hideously Hyped Debate Debacle in Detroit, where only 50 tickets were offered to the public, because the rest were handed out to “elected officials.”

Other Stories The Blower Will Be Tracking Tonight Include:

HILLARY FOR PRISON 2016: The Washington Post reports the Justice Department has granted immunity to the former State Department staffer who worked on Hillary Rodham Clinton’s private email server, a sign the FBI investigation into possible criminal wrongdoing is progressing. A senior U.S. law enforcement official said the FBI had secured the cooperation of Bryan Pagliano who worked on Clinton’s 2008 presidential campaign before setting up the server in her New York home in 2009.

HILLARY’S HUSBAND: (Mediaite reports Disgraced DemocRAT Ex Pants-Dropper-in-Chief Bill Clinton put the “Slick” back in Slick Willie once again. Multiple media outlets are reporting that the former United States President violated Massachusetts voting law at multiple polling stations — as many as four —during Super Tuesday voting efforts.) “We’re really surprised he would do something like that,” said nobody ever!

MUCKRAKER UPDATE: This morning, Mr. Muck was turning over rocks on our Monday’s so-called debate story between State Rep-tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and his inexperienced opponent running on a tantrum, only to discover that Brinkman’s opponent’s employer at Miami Valley Christian Academy was the only person permitted to ask a question about “transparency for parents,” supposedly the key issue of this campaign.

And what if tonight, Mr. Muck turned over another rock and found out the timekeeper at the so-called debate (who shouldn’t have allowed Brinkman’s opponent to exceed her allotted time) just happened to be the maintenance man at Miami Valley Christian Academy (you know, where Brinkman’s opponent works?)

All together now, Muckrakers: “Coincidence, we think not!”

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL POLITICAL PROSTITUTES: This morning, Feckless Fishwrappers selected Nick Vehr to be today’s local RINO Party “Trump Basher,” and gave the former Cincinnati City Clowncilman a free video, along with the name of his business included with the story. The Blower is now wondering how long it took Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters to threaten to sue The Fishwrap, if they didn’t give him equal time to rebut Vehr’s vicious comments, since the last we heard, “Crazy Eric” was still claiming to be Trump’s Official Campaign Chairman in Northern Kentucky.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1807, Congress abolished the African slave trade, but according to The Blower, The Empty Uppity Oprah Winfrey Campaigning for Obama, Under-funded, Ugly-ass Poorly-Planned Unnagraown Rayroe Museum Not-so-Free-dom Center still “Permanently Enslaves the Over-Taxed Payers of Hamilton County.”

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose “White Guilt, it makes you keep on giving.”

AT THIS AFTERNOON’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about which of the “Seven Reasons Why Trump Is Dominating” offered by Bob Cusack and Ian Swanson in The Hill was the most important.

The choices were:
The laws of political gravity do not apply to Trump.
No candidate knows how to deal with the media better than Trump.
Trump’s Campaign slogan (Make America Great Again).
Trump picked the right time to run.
Trump got better as a candidate.
Trump has a knack for hitting his opponents’ weaknesses.
Voters are tired of gridlock.

“I like Trump’s Campaign Slogan the best,” Kane explained. “Ronald Reagan had ‘Morning in America.’ Obama employed ‘Hope and Change.’ And Trump has ‘Make America Great Again.’ All three are simple, straightforward, and easy to remember. What was Bush’s? How about Scott Walker’s? Neither of them had one. Come to think of it, what in the hell is Kasich’s campaign slogan, anyway?”

TODAY’S “LIBERAL LIAR” AWARD

Reuters reports Disingenuous DemocRAT Senate Leader Harry “Dingy Harry” Reid, who claims Republicans have only themselves to blame for Donald Trump, a “monster” spawned by their constant partisan opposition to all major Obama administration initiatives, “Republicans created him (Trump) by spending seven years appealing to some of the darkest forces in America,” said Reid. He spoke on the floor of the U.S. Senate a day after presidential candidate Trump won a string of primary contests and consolidated his status as front-runner to be the Republican nominee in the November election. Trump’s rise has alarmed many establishment Republicans, who are both critical of his positions and skeptical he can win the White House. Reid, known for occasionally delivering controversial statements on the Senate floor, said Trump was now the Republican standard-bearer, but he could destroy the party.