THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31, 2015

Muslims Getting More Than Their Fair Share

 In yesterday’s Resolutions and Restitutions E-dition, Racial Extortionists at the Insane8 and Black Lies Matter Activists were complaining Muslim Sympathizer Awan Afuqya’s local Muslims have recently been getting too large a slice of the Political Propaganda Pie at The Fishwrap.

Conservative Curmudgeon Stu Mahlin explains: first Fishwrappers published what they called an “anti-Muslim” letter (Muslims could ID terrorists but choose not to).

Then Opinion Editrix Cindi Andrews ran a column to justify why running their so-called “anti-Muslim” letter (Why we published anti-Muslim letter) because discrimination against Muslims is not nice, Donald Trump is a racist, and anybody who’s the least bit afraid of being beheaded by a Murdering Muslim is an Islamophobe, according the PC Police.

Meanwhile, in the Real World, Munich Police are warning of an “Imminent Terror Threat,” by  evacuating two train stations; Sweden is now refusing refugees; a Muslim convert with mental health problems who is a former convict was picked up by authorities after they learned he was preparing a machete attack on diners at a local restaurant or bar in Rochester, New York; German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s Annual New Year’s Speech will have Arabic Subtitles; Newsweek is touting its campaign to whitewash “True Islam,” CAIR went Silent after a Muslim Man was arrested for torching a Houston Mosque in the latest Hate Crime Hoax; and a Teenage Islamist ‘Poster Girl’ who fled Austria to join ISIS was used as a sex slave for new fighters before she was beaten to death as she tried to escape.  

More of the News Cindi always seems to lose, wouldn’t you say?

Meanwhile, just to show we’re not really “anti-Muslim,” did you hear the one about a Muslim suicide bomber who died and went to Paradise, as foretold. When he arrived there he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his 72 virgins, as promised. Out of curiosity he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.

Allah looked at him for a moment, then replied, “Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because people like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So, you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re quite sexually ravenous and frankly, you’ll be on constant, exhausting duty. I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail.

The bomber responded, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”

“Who told you they were women?” Allah replied.