Special “The Truth About Schlongs” E-dition

HEADER-DEC 23-TRUTH

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2015

Great Schlongs in History

           image004 At this afternoon’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about that full-fledged “Schlong Truth” movement emerging from the Media Hysteria over Donald Trump’s use of the word “Schlong” Monday night, when Trump referred to Hillary’s defeat to Obama in the 2008 primaries, saying, “She was going to beat Obama. … She was favored to win — and she got schlonged. She lost.”

“Getting ‘schlonged’ has long been part of the American Culture,” Kane explained. “And as any graduate of the Forrest Gump School District can tell you, ‘Schlongs’ are right there in the Declaration of Independence.”

image015image005And sure enough, if was right there where Thomas Jefferson had written: “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Schlongs.”

image015And even the Pledge of Allegiance says, “One nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and Schlongs for all.”

 image015Do you remember when Patrick Henry said, “Give me a Schlong or give me a death?”

image015Nathan Hale said, “I regret that I have but one Schlong to give to my Country.”

image006 image015John Paul Jones said, “I have not yet begun to Schlong.”

 image015George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie. I chopped down that schlong.”

 image015Samuel Adams said, “Someday they’ll name a beer after me, and when they do, they’ll call it a Schlong.”

 image015Daniel Webster said, “One country, one constitution, one destiny, and many Schlongs.”

image015At Gettysburg, Abraham Lincoln said, “The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget our Schlongs.”

image015image007William Tecumseh Sherman said, “War is hell– without Schlongs.”

 image015George Armstrong Custer said, “Where in the hell did all those Schongs come from?”

image015Woodrow Wilson said, “The world must be made safe for Schlongs.”

 image015Will Rogers said, “I never met a Schlong I didn’t like.”

 image015General George S. Patton said, “No bastard ever won a war dying for his Schlong. He won it by making the other poor bastard die for his Schlong.”

 image015image008FDR said, “We have nothing to fear but Schlongs.”

 image015Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return– for a Schlong.”

 image015Harry Truman said, “The Schlong stops here.”

 image015Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “I think that people want Schlongs so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have them.”

 image015Albert Einstein said, “”The hardest thing in the world to understand is a Schlong.”

 image015Sigmund Freud said, “Most of men’s problems can be traced to their subconscious feelings about Schlongs.”

image009 image015John Kennedy said, “Ask not what you can do for your Schlongs.”

 image015Neil Armstrong said, “A small step for man, one giant Schlong for Mankind.

 image015Barry Goldwater said, “Extremism in the defense of Schlongs is no vice. And moderation in the pursuit of Schlongs is no virtue.”

 image015Vince Lombardi said, “Schlongs are everything.”

 image015Ronald Reagan said, “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to announce that I’ve signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin Schlonging them in five minutes.”

image010 image015John Wayne said, “Life is tough, but it’s tougher without a Schlong.”

 image015Rev. Martin Luther King said, “I had a dream about Schlongs.”

image015Bill Clinton said, “It all depends on the meaning of Schlongs is.”

image015Charlton Heston said, “Let my Schlong go.”

image015At every patriotic rally, Lee Greenwood always sings, “God Bless the Schlongs.”  

image015 George W. Bush said, “Schlongs Accomplished.”

image015And not to be outdone, Obama now promises, “If you like your Schlong, you can keep it.”image003

Whistleblower Video of the Day

His Schlong…Best Family Feud Answer Ever

image014Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.image013

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found hereimage028image003image006

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whistleblower Video of the Day

 

His Schlong…Best Family Feud Answer Ever

 

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<iframe width=”640″ height=”480″ src=”https://www.youtube.com/embed/dHZtmhlOAkA” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>

 

Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

 

 

 

 

Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here