FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2015  

In Washington, They Re-gift Your Own Tax Money

 GIFTS YOU CAN’T AFFORD: In Washington, our DC Newsbreaker says the Republican-controlled House cleared legislation on Friday to avert a government shutdown hours before a midnight deadline and as top congressional leaders pressed toward caving in on a deal on a long-term spending bill. Congress now has until December 16 to either cave in to Obama and the Disingenuous DemocRATS to pass a yearlong spending package or another stopgap bill to avoid a shutdown. Obama is expected to sign the bill, which passed by voice vote, before midnight. The Republican Controlled Senate caved in on the measure by voice vote before adjourning for the weekend on Thursday.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 2000, Al Gore actually conceded the presidential election following weeks of legal battles over the recounting of votes in Florida, and in 1985 Ted “The Unabomber” Kaczynski killed his first victim. Let’s see which of those events out Kneepad Liberals in the Press recall today.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Al Gore’s “During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating Global Warming.”

TODAY’S LIBERALS TELL THE STUPIDEST LIES AWARD goes to Liar-in-Chief Obama. National Review says there’s a demagogue loose in the land. He uses immigration and the war on terror to drive a wedge into the American populace. He traffics in absurd conspiracy theories about foreign influence, he mocks his political opponents, and he inspires friends and allies to lash out, lawlessly, against them. He compares patriotic Americans to jihadists, and he endangers our national security with his reckless rhetoric.

Meanwhile, there was still a way for Obsessive Obama Supporters like Tom and Rose to show their love for our Obamessiah during the Christmas Season. That’s why this limited edition “Obama Village Idiot” ornament for only $28.99 plus God only knows how much for shipping and handling, would look so great on your Obamamas Tree, as Obama Supporters in the Press continue to promise their millions of gullible followers today, it will still be just like “335 More Days of Christmas” during Obama’s second term. Proceeds will benefit Obama’s 2016 Third-Term Re-election Campaign.

WHISTLEBLOWER HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE:

This seems to be a pretty good gift for your favorite elected official.

 JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS: K-Mart announces a new shipment of Chabotheads has just arrived.

 And we’ve just received word the Turkish government, friends of Jean Schmidt, will again be generously covering the cost for the lavish catering at her annual Christmas party, this year being held at her Schmidt Run estate located at 771 Wards Corner Road in Clermont County.  As usual, the Turks will be sparing no expense with the unlimited shrimp, lobster rolls, champagne and Turkish vintage wine and other items.

Jean has also announced the party will this year be welcoming DemocRATS as well as Republicans.

And for those who are planning to join Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane and Revered Former Congressman Bob McEwen attending Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Christmas Party, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, let’s all sing the sixth verse of “Mean Jean Schmidt’s Twelve Days of Christmas,” sent in by Clermont County Crony-in-Chief “Buffalo Dave” Uible, who said, “It never matters who wants our endorsement, since all the votes have already been counted.” It went something like this:

            On the Sixth Day of Christmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me,
            Six Crooked Cronies,
            Five Libelous Liars,
            Four Screeching Tires,
            Three Borgman Cartoons,
            Two Red Dresses,
            And One Old Crapper, from Rob Portman’s Legacy.

          Kind of warms the cockles of your heart, doesn’t it Portman?

Now here’s an update on that Company Christmas Party you’ve been reading about in The Blower:

FROM: Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE:  December 111
RE:       Patty Lewis and the Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the December 23 off with full pay.

            Happy Holidays!

  KWANZA KLAUS said there seems to be a lot of crime near the UC Campus these days.  They never seemed to have that problem when Bob Huggins was coach. All the thugs were on his teams and off the streets.

NoKY NEWS: Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said last year when he called the Adams County (Ohio) Travel and Visitors Bureau in Ohio, to get directions to those Amazing Amish Christmas Lights near Squirrel Town, it reminded him to tell readers that Rick “The Bat Boy” Robinson now has his pet squirrel “Nutsy” tastefully decorated for Christmas

MORE HOLIDAY MAGIC: Another Holiday Party Rick never misses is the Annual World Orgasm for Peace Day Orgy at the Fort Mitchell County Club, co-sponsored by Uptight Bitches in Ft. Mitchell and the Northern Kentucky Cougars’ Association. That godless pagan event is on December 21, just in time for Druids to celebrate the Winter Solstice. Two years ago Marvin the Mayan said he’d like to come too, because if the world did actually come to an end on December 21, he’d like to go out with a gang bang. Then everybody watch  “Getting into the Holiday Spirit with Eric and Nicole.”

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about the way we keep finding out how much race relations have become since Obama came president.  “Only 9% of Americans think race relations have improved,” Kane explained, all of which does not bode well for the next 405 days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached. IS CFK a prophet or what!

Finally, IS IT CHRISTMAS YET?

The Seediest Kids of All

The Butch LeDeux Story

         Butch LaDeux was a very troubled 11-year-old second-grader who was not doing well in school, even by the Forrest Gump School District’s standards. The truth is, Butch is illiterate, and he always tries to cover up his feelings of inferiority by punching little kids in the stomach and stealing their lunch money.

So the Seediest Kids of All (not associated with the Failed United Way) enrolled Butch at O’Brien’s Gym so he could channel his aggressive energy and Bungals Bar-Fighter Rey Maualuga taught Butch how to blindside his opponents.

Butch still beats up little kids for their lunch money, but instead of punching them in the stomach, he takes clean shots to the head and face as he goes after them because their parents had dared to put “Vote No” signs against the school levy in their front yards.

The LaDeux family is no longer on welfare, due to the substantial amount of money Butch now brings home every week. They’re grateful to the Seediest Kids of All, but it’s really you they have to thank, because it’s your liberal guilt throughout the year which makes it all possible.   

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

More Proud Sponsors and Avid Fans

Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our December fund-raising drive by the Scrooge and Marley’s Counting House.

 OFFICE PARTY HOT LINE

e-mail your extortion photos today

Some party-crashing items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally party-crashing subscribers.

Whistleblower Heartwarming Video of the Day

OBAMA’S BLACK SKIN PRIVILEGE

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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