Special “Joyous Tidings” E-dition

HEADER-DEC 9 JOYOUS

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 9, 2015  

A Season of Sacrifice

          image004During December you’ll be seeing the President and First Lady wrapping CHRISTmas presents with Christian kids, spinning the Hanukkah dreidel with little Jewish children, reading stories from Koran stories to Muslim boys and girls, and practicing break dancing with black yoofs to celebrate that made-up liberal holiday called Kwanzaa.

image005Continuing to reach out to every conceivable religious denomination in America, today the First Family has invited little Druid children to the White House to help them get ready to celebrate the Wiccan Sabbat of Yule as part of that religion’s Winter Solstice Celebration. A White House spokesman explained children would only be drinking grape juice, instead of the traditional goat’s blood during the ritual.

image005Vice President Joe Biden, himself an orthodox Druid who doesn’t look Druish, will be offering Solstice Greetings to everyone observing the Wiccan Sabbat of Yule. Biden calls it a vibrant and energizing celebration, offering millions of Druid Americans an opportunity to enhance their self esteem by embracing the rich cultural traditions of their heritage. All that will also take place on December 21, since the Mayans were wrong when they predicted the world would end on that date in 2012.  

image005image006This year, however, the importance of the Druid High Holy Day may be lost, since over-sexed Liberals are again planning to celebrate the Winter Solstice and wondering if there will be a World Orgasm for Peace Day in 2015, just like we all celebrated last year.


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image005Meanwhile, Obama Supporters in the Press continue celebrating the holidays during the Age of Obama, while front groups for Amnesty for Illegal Future DemocRAT Voters hope all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put The Positively Worst President in History In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, like Tom and Rose would like to purchase a Grinch Obama Cancelling CHRISTmas Tree Ornament for only $12.50, plus God-only-knows-how-much for shipping-and-handling, as Liberals plan to lie to their gullible followers
for the 408 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

 image005And don’t forget at your local K-Mart, this year’s shipment of amazing Chabot Heads has been sitting in the markdown bin for local losers ever since Election Day 2008, along with copies of Ben-Gal Becky’s and Judge Mock’s cups, and of course, Rob “Fighting for Frankincense” Portman’s same-sex coloring book.image005

“Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of CHRISTmas

          And, for all the folks planning to attend “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s CHRISTmas Party at the Schmidt Run Estates at 771 Wards Corner Road, where the disgraced former U.S. Congresswoman plans to announce her return to politics, we’re told it’s going to be an upscale party this year, unlike some of those really crappy CHRISTmas parties she used to have in Kenwood. Her Meanness is not sending out invitations this year; it’s strictly by word-of-mouth. Valet Parking will be available at a reasonable cost.  Dress is office-appropriate or cocktail clothing.

image010Now for those of you planning to join Outcast Attorney Chris Finney and Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane at “Mean Jean’s over-taxed payer funded event, let’s all sing the fourth verse of “Mean Jean” Schmidt’s Twelve Days of CHRISTmas,” sent in by “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, who still claims he did not run down that “Bitch-in-a-Ditch,” at the spot where Union Township officials in Clermont County had erected a special sign for the occasion.


Instead, “TaxKiller Tom” is shown gleefully cutting “Mean Jean’s” head off a cake at the Marie Antoinette “Let ‘Em Eat Cake Awards.” It goes something like this:

           image013 On the Fourth Day of CHRISTmas, “Mean Jean” gave to me:
            Four Screeching Tires,
            Three Borgman cartoons,
            Two red dresses,
            And one old crapper, from Rob Portman’s legacy.

image005MEANWHILE: If you’re still having trouble finding where Ohio’s Second District Congressman-elect “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup turned on those Amazing Amish CHRISTmas Tree Lights in Adams County Saturday night, you might check with the Adams County Travel and Visitors Bureau, located west of West Union. 

image005In other Holiday Countdowns: Hanukkah Harry says tonight is the fourth night of the Jewish CHRISTmas, Kwanzaa Klaus says there are only 18 more shoplifting days till Kwanzaa, and someday soon we might find out the names of even more of this year’s Fired Fishwrappers who’ll be standing in line at for a CHRISTmas Goose at the FreeBee Store. Did we already miss the 2015 Hamilton County RINO Party Holiday Party, wherever the hell that was? And we’re still waiting to hear the details of our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders’ Eighth Annual CHRISTmas Party. Coincidentally, that’ll be the same time and place as the Holiday Party for the Whistleblower NoKY Legal Dream Team and the Cabal to Destroy “Crazy Eric Deters (including the Lisa Wells WLW Fan Club).

 image005Hurley the Historian says On this date in 1992, U.S. Marines stormed into Mogadishu, Somalia, to spearhead a multinational force aimed at restoring order in the conflict-ridden country, but if Obama had been president during that disastrous endeavor, he would’ve said it was time to open a dialogue with the Somali warlords without preconditions.

image005That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose Charles Krauthammer’s “The Obama foreign policy, in broad strokes, has been a disaster. – Charles

image005America’s National Debt has skyrocketed to nearly $19 TRILLION, a mere 70% during the Obama Administration. (Check our U.S. Debt Clock HERE.) Merry CHRISTmas!image005

XXX-Mas Greetings

image014image014image014If you and your children go looking for Official White House CHRISTmas Greetings on the internet, whatever you do, don’t click on www.whitehouse.com. These days that web site is totally useless. Citizens for Community Values Chairman Phil Burr-ass Phil Burr-ass says he liked it better in the good old days when that web address was just a sleazy porn site, but this year you can still find out how you can meet single transexuals who live in your neighborhood.  image005  Now Here’s An Update On That Company CHRISTmas Party You Heard About In The Blower:

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To:       All Employees
DATE:  December 9  
RE:       Holiday Party

            image015What a diverse group we are! Isn’t it great that we’ve already celebrated Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours? That would’ve put a serious damper on our party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year may not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps Luigi’s can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – the days are so short this time of year – or else package everything for take home in little foil swans. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men; each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table. No cross-dressing allowed though, for the person asking permission to cross dress. We will have booster seats for short people. Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure problems to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar” desserts.

            Sorry!
            Did I miss anything?

            Pattyimage005

ALSO REMEMBER THIS AT CHRISTMAS TIME

image016According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male
and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male
reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late
November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers
till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

            We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man
in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.image005

MAKING A MOCKERY OF MULTI-CULTURALISM HOT LINE

e-mail your blasphemous bulletins today.
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Some politically incorrect items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally politically incorrect subscribersimage005

Whistleblower Video of The Day 

The Obama CHRISTmas Song for Liberals

image019Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.image005Current Whistleblower Policies and Disclaimers can be found here

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