TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2015
This Morning At The Whistleblower Newswire…
…nothing much was happening because everybody was anxiously waiting for our next Really Big Story to break.
BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO was already on his way to the Carter County Detention Center (wherever the hell that is) to see if Dumpy DemocRAT Rowan County Clerk had already become a Lesbian after Conservative Commonwealth Icon “BeanBall Jim” Bunning’s little son David struck down Religious Freedom by sending Kim Davis to jail for refusing to issue gay marriage licenses. Little did he know Kim Davis would be released from jail before he got there, and ordered not to interfere with the processing of any more of those SCOTUS-approved perverted “marriage” papers.
The CamBoozler also asked if one of our Summer Interns could drive by Judge David Bunning’s house to see if the protesters were still there from yesterday.
WHISTLEBLOWER POLLSTER RON RASMUSSEN said voters were showing little sympathy for the jailed clerk in the Sodomy Rites Spat. Only 26% of Likely U.S. Voters think an elected official should be able to ignore a federal court ruling that he or she disagrees with for religious reasons.
ONE OF THE OTHER SUMMER INTERNS had been sitting outside the FOP Headquarters at 1900 Central Parkway since 8 AM waiting for a puff of Black Smoke to indicate one of those Cincinnati Police Officers taking part in the FOP’s Office Pool predicted the exact moment Cincinnati City Mangler “Baltimore Harry” Black would be offering Cincinnati’s Current Affirmative Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell an offer to resign or be fired.
Word from Channel 9 was that Legendary Sportscaster Ken Broo was practicing his “He’s Waaay Outta Here” so he could do our play-by-play.
WHISTLEBLOWER GOSSIP COLUMNIST LINDA LIBEL said she’s already seen people putting up “Hillary in Prison 2016” signs in East Walnut Hills before the Disgraced DemocRAT Presidential Candidate arrives for her $2,700-per-person Legal Defense Fund-raiser in East Walnut Hills hosted by Jennie and Allan Berliant.
WHISTLEBLOWER FOOD CRITIC MARTIN UPCHUCK was calling the Life Squad in Springdale to see if anybody had gotten food poisoning after eating at Racial Extortionist Liz Rogers’ latest Food Scam Establishment located inside the Indulge Lounge.
WHISTLEBLOWER BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES said Stock Prices were improving after plummeting on Friday because the number of new jobs created during Obama’s so-called Recovery was a lot less than expected.
IN WASHINGTON, OUR DC NEWSBREAKER said he’s all set to cover Sarah Palin tomorrow after she announced Sunday night that she’d be joining Donald Trump and Ted Cruz at Wednesday’s big “Stop the Iran Nuclear Deal” rally in Washington DC.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR COLORED CORRESPONDENT COURTIS GRAY says he heard about a Facebook video of unruly Black teens “just foolin’” downtown after the Riverfest Fireworks, but it must not have happened, since he couldn’t find any news stories about it.
CH SNITCH AT 1000 MAIN STREET called in to say the November 16, 2015 date for ex-UC Police Officer Ray Tensing’s murder trial being handled personally by Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters had been changed to a pre-trial hearing at 9:00 a.m. in front of Hamilton County Court of Common Pleas Judge Megan Shanahan in the Hamilton County Courthouse (room 560), but no trial date has yet been set.
OUR ANGRY ANDERSONIAN said he was ready to cover that séance at the Park Board tonight to see if they could breathe new life into that ill-fated Anderson 2020 Plan everybody’s been complaining about, because this was the community’s opportunity to get more than a renovated RecPlex, extending walking trail, and improved parking.
AND OUR MUCKRAKER was still turning over a few more rocks to shine the Light of Truth just to watch the Squirmin’ Vermin.
We’re not sure when our next Really Big Story will break, but Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane says if something doesn’t happen soon, we’ll probably just have to make something up.
