TUESDAY, JULY 28, 2015

Usually, We’re Just “Bad News Bearers”

Sometimes when The Blower reports about an event, we wonder just how newsworthy that item really was, but usually within days, 18 other Conservative Web Pages run the same item, so it pretty much validated our “news judgment.”  

After all, since The Blower is the Conservative publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing anywhere we find it, members of The Conservative Agenda know to expect nothing less.

Last weekend in Deepest, Darkest Africa, Whistleblower Bureau Chief Ubangi Tadwell reported that nude protest against homosexuality in Kenya’s capital city had been cancelled at the last minute just before Obama returned to his ancestral homeland in Kenya on Friday. Thousands of naked men and women, including prostitutes and models from National Geographic Magazine, had been expected to take part in the demonstration showing the difference between men and women to refute Obama’s fanatical support for same sex sodomy. After all, Homosexuality is currently illegal in Kenya, where homosexuality carries a prison sentence of up to 14 years.

Obama had been warned by Kenyan government and religious officials not to push his gay rights agenda, but he did it anyway. And if he didn’t think he would get any blowback from his barely-disguised remarks, Obama was sorely mistaken. “As an African-American in the United States, I am painfully aware of the history of what happens when people are treated differently under the law,” Obama added during a joint press conference with Kenyan President Uhuru Kenyatta. “I’m unequivocal on this.”

But Obama’s call for universal gay rights was summarily dismissed by Kenyatta, who described the issue as something “our culture, our society does not accept. For Kenyans today, the issue of gay rights is really a non-issue. This issue is not really an issue that is on the foremost of mind for Kenyans, and that is a fact,” he said to some applause.

The Conservative Tribune says what Obama doesn’t seem to get is that constantly needling those who disagree with him simply won’t work. Of all the things needed in Kenya — or, for that matter, anywhere in sub-Saharan Africa — gay rights is right down there with “imported MiniDisc players” and “more Katherine Heigl romantic comedies translated into local dialects.” It didn’t work this time, and it won’t work in the future. But you can bet Obama will keep trying it, because that’s the kind of president we have.

Perhaps African leaders recalled Obama himself had been opposed to gay marriage until May 2012.

Obama really should’ve known better, especially after Kenyan Muslim leaders condemned his support of same sex marriages. “Simply because he has risen to be the President of a super power does not mean he can now start acting as God. He is nothing in the eyes of God and his plans will not succeed just like those who preceded him in such plans,” said Sheikh Khalifa.

Maybe Obama should’ve gotten a resolution of support from Cincinnati City Clown-cil, or at least offered Cincinnati Clown-cil Gay and Ohio’s Same-Sex Supporting Republican Senator Rob Portman to accompany him on his trip.

And Photo Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper says Obama’s “Birth Certificate Joke” didn’t seem to go over very well, either.