THURSDAY, JULY 9, 2015

Yesterday Was Our Biggest Day Ever

Wednesday was a big day at The Blower with lots of late-breaking news and four separate e-ditions. Plus our web page recorded its largest number of page views ever. Our Legal Libel Checkers were really busy, too. Thanks to all our Snitches and Bitches who made it all possible.   

First we published our “Local FBI Raid” E-dition when all of Anderson Township was abuzz after Channel 9’s “Substantially True News,” TV 12, and every other news outlet in town couldn’t wait to show us breaking news of that double-top secret FBI Raid at Doug Evans’ Landscaping location on Round Bottom Road in Newtown, blocking multiple entrances to the facility with police vehicles. Agents at the scene claimed they were searching for evidence outlined in a sealed search warrant. 

Next we published our “Bluegrass Broad Beams” E-dition about Gaining Weight in Northern Kentucky after Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said lately people had been commenting to Freddy Fatass about his appearance.

 

Then we published our “Hate Crime Designation” E-dition after Current Black Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell (who just decided it would be a good idea  for him to be in town for all of the All Star Events) had somebody explain the big words in The Blower to him, and then actually asked Hamilton County Prosecutor “JayWalking Joe” Deters to pursue “Hate Crime” charges in the Government Square attack that left a white man beaten and bloody by a mob of Black yoof on a rampage on the Fourth of July.

Finally, we published our Special “All Star Event Cancellations” E-dition after we heard a rumor that the Budweiser Clydesdale Horses might also be afraid to appear downtown in “the safest big City in America,”  and changed their venue to the safety and security of Belterra Park in Anderson Township, where, according to Anderson Trustee Andrew Pappas, “unruly yoofs” of any race, creed, color, or sexual preference are never made to feel welcome.

Later we learned that Cincinnati will be doing its part to devolve America’s Culture during the Age of Obama by replacing celebrity singer Ariana Grande, the pop singer who hates America, at the MLB All-Star Concert in Cincinnati with the even skankier Demi Lovato, who’ll be singing her new hit lesbian love song “Cool for the Summer,” while Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley and all our gay-marriage loving members of City Clown-cil are doing the wave in the front row. Local Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, will be cheering, too, but will have to watch on TV because they won’t be able to afford the humongous scalped ticket prices.  It sounds like just another fine 3CDC Production to us.

TODAY’S STUPID LIBERAL LIAR AWARD goes to our Lesbian-Marrying Midget Mayor for claiming, “We’re the safest big city in America,” and for creating a Sanctuary for Stupidity at City Hall.

AT THE GAY MOVIES: 20th Century Fox has announced it is developing a film about Cincinnati’s U.S. Supreme Court case that made Same-Sex Sodomy a nationwide right. Cincinnati Clowncil Gay Chris Squealback says he’s sure there will be a big part in it about him, and The Blower wants to know if the movie will cover any of the multiple encounters the happy couple participated in or the way the for-profit lawyer ambulance-chased the case once he read about the marriage in the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap. Will it show how every liberal gay rights organization (HRC, NGLTF) and gay person who wanted to get married is now claiming credit for the victory?

MINORITY WRONGS: And did you see where the NAALCD (National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored DemocRATS) is suing the local chapter claiming fraud? This is more a sign of the total dysfunction in that NAALCD branch since Smithermouth took it over and turned a long-revered but then-moribund chapter focused on traditional civil rights into his personal political plaything in alliance with Chris Finney and his COAST Compatriots— Lawsuits, supervised elections, allegations of election fraud, leaders manhandling members, criminal incidents. City Clown-cilman Smithermouth is no longer the group’s president, but his faction is still in control. And now the local and national organizations are locked in dueling lawsuits, and a whole bunch of money has disappeared. It’s more like a third world banana republic government than anything else. At least the local chapter doesn’t have to worry about having a White person in charge (if you don’t count Finney) like they did in Seattle.

ATTENTIVE ANDERSONIANS say it sounds like federal grant money could be involved with the Evans investigation.  That would explain the feds coming in.  The Blower’s waiting for the IRS to jump on him.  After the Treasury Department seizes everything he has, how will the country club members respond to the name change from Ivy Hills to IRS Hills?  Will Obama  get free golf privileges?  He can fly into Lunken and be on the first tee in less than 10 minutes.

 

AJ THE ARCHIVIST REMINDED US when long time local news reader Clyde Gray announced his retirement two years ago after nearly 24 years at Channel 9 “Substantially True” News, The Blower remembered when Clyde first showed up. We were making fun of Anchorman Randy Little’s hair in those days, as you can see by the item published on June 25, 1991, in Edition #56. [SEE EDITION #56 HERE]

Also in that Edition, Steve Chabothead (then only a lowly Hamilton County Commissioner) was recommending a “Tax Force” These days Old Chabothead has finally figured out “Why We Absolutely Have to Elect a Republican President in 2016.” You can read all about in his blog.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1776, the Liberty Bell rang out in Philadelphia from the tower of the Pennsylvania State House (now known as Independence Hall), summoning citizens to the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence. But why did the inscription on the bell read “Pensylvania?” Maybe Thomas Jefferson needed a spellchecker.

OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Mark Twain’s “Why, there isn’t a man who doesn’t have to throw out about fifteen hundred words a day when he writes his letters because he can’t spell them! It’s like trying to do a St. Vitas dance with wooden legs.”       

CONSERVATIVE CURMUDGEON STU MAHLIN, whose hobby appears to be e-mailing letters to The Liberal Agenda Fishwrap that never get published, has a couple of items for us this morning. First, the headline for Zach Schiller’s collectivist, communist crapola read, “Wealthiest gain most from new tax cut.” Well, as we used to say in a less politically correct (aka speech-controlled) world, even at a college in New England (back in the 60s), “No Shit, Sherlock!” The wealthiest pay the most into the confiscatory tax system and therefore the wealthiest should and maybe even do, benefit the most by reduced levels of confiscation.  So what, Zach?

And when Clown-cilman Windbag wrote, in part: “I will be asking Mayor John Cranley, City Manager Harry Black and City Council to … work in conjunction with CIRV and other agencies in identifying the top 100 most violent youth who are contributing to crime in Cincinnati.” That just can’t be done. The only thing that CAN be done is identify the 100 most violent youth equally represented by race and sexual preference and sexual equipment and national origin and immigration status and all the rest of the classifications in use today to determine “equality” and racism and sexism and other kinds of disparate impact.  Any other group of 100 would become a symbol of how insensitive Cincinnati is and would have to be featured on the front page of the Liberal Agenda Fishwrap.

IN KENTUCKY, Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo says State Rep Addia Wuchner has filed a bill that would prevent the commonwealth from forcing religious figures or organizations from performing same sex marriages, and would protect such organizations and individuals from being sued if they refuse to perform such ceremonies, even though no one in Kentucky has yet pushed to have such a marriage in a religious setting against that organization’s will. The Blower wants to know if that bill would also protect Christian bakers who refuse to make penis cupcakes for gay wedding parties.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane what he thought about Donald Trump’s 2016 Presidential Campaign so far. “We welcome The Donald to The Whistleblower’s War on Political Correctness,” Kane explained. “From some of the things he’s said, he must be reading The Blower.”  

 

Now Today’s Message from Donald Trump

 IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?

It must be, since your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.

This week we’re featuring “Gex” Wanker, a bright little 9-year-old Bluegrass boy at Ridgerunner Elementary School, whose cruel classmates continue to taunt him mercilessly, not just because he’s years older than the other kindergartners, but because his name “Gex” rhymed with “Sex.” For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department. 

 HONORING PETE ROSE AT THE ALL STAR GAME HOT LINE

E-mail your credible congratulations today.

Some home-town forgiving items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally home-town forgiving Subscribers.

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Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our June fund-raising drive by Kentucky Speedway, sponsoring the Confederate Flag 400 Saturday night.

 WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

Is This Part of Cincinnati’s Violence Reduction Plan?

(Probably not sent in by anyone at the Cincinnati Police Department.)

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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