SUNDAY, MAY 31, 2015

Your Whistleblower Week in Review    

MONDAY (May 25), in our Official “Memorial Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “You promised them you wouldn’t forget. Take time today. It’s Memorial Day,” and in our Special “Memorial Day Weekend Marathon” E-dition, The Blower said we were “Pledging Never To Forget The True Meaning of Memorial Day!”

TUESDAY (May 26), in our Special “Post-Memorial Day Stress” E-dition, The Blower said, “Are legal holidays the only times you’re allowed to buy a mattress?,” and in our Special “More Memorializing” E-dition, The Blower said, “Because One Day Each Year Just Isn’t Enough”

WEDNESDAY (May 27), in Special “Obama’s Foreign Policy” E-dition, The Blower said, “You must admit, it’s been an “Historic Failure!” and in Special “Political Prophecies” E-dition, The Blower said, “We always tell you about the ones that come true!”

THURSDAY (May 28), in our Special “National Crime Wave” E-dition, The Blower said, “Obama’s Soft-on-Crime Urban Policies Are Really Working” and in our Special “Local Crime Wave” E-dition, The Blower said, “Obama’s Soft-on-Crime Urban Policies Are Really Working Here, Too!”

FRIDAY (May 22) in our Special “Political Parodies” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’re Still Looking For An Original Idea!,” and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”

SATURDAY (May 30) in our Special “Quarter Century Celebration” E-dition, The Blower said, “And They Said It Would Never Last!” and in our Special “The Celebration Continues” E-dition, The Blower said, “And We’re Partying Like It’s Still 1990!”

You Can’t Say You Aren’t Getting Your Money’s Worth!

This Week’s Top Stories

OUR NUMBER ONE WHISTLEBLOWER EXCLUSIVE STORY THIS WEEK was when Gossip Columnist Linda Libel exclusively reported according to her Channel 9 Snitch, last weekend, Former Hamilton County RINO Party Boss, now a Federal Judge, Michael Barrett was secretly married to a local leggy supermodel TV anchorwoman half his age in Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, wherever the hell that is. The Judge’s older brother Western Southern CEO John Barrett, who was excluded from the guest list at the wedding, claimed he didn’t know anything about his brother’s wedding and suspected a shotgun might have been involved.

OUR NUMBER TWO WHISTLEBLOWER EXCLUSIVE STORY THIS WEEK was Linda Libel reported said Western Southern CEO John Barrett and his wife Eileen were busy planning a wing-ding fund-raiser with their best friends, Disbarred DemocRAT Lawyer $tan Che$ley and Judge Mr$. Stan Che$ley for Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Weddings” Portman, where gays galore are expected to be in attendance.

AND OUR NUMBER THREE WHISTLEBLOWER EXCLUSIVE STORY THIS WEEK was when Linda Libel reported the guys at the Kentucky Bar Association must be practicing the Whistleblower Motto by “Holding the Little Guy Down” when they suspended Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters one more time, and another new malpractice case was recently filed by one of Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s nearby neighbors in Anderson. This Northern Kentucky case includes all of the trademark Deters’ incompetence, swagger, ignorance, and bellicosity Judges on both sides of the river have come to know and love over the years. It’s amazing: The complaint says he essentially destroyed his client’s $500,000 business. [You can read that entire complaint HERE.]

Edward Cropper’s World

Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us how Twitter Was Challenged To Prove Clintons Aren’t “Basically an Organized Crime Syndicate”

You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.

 This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda

Fox News Channel gets to broadcast the first Republican Primary Debate for all those 2016 Presidential Candidates scheduled on August 6 at 9 PM ET from the Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland, with Bret Baier, Megyn Kelly, and Chris Wallace as the fair-and-balanced moderators, and you couldn’t get any fairer than those three!

But only the top ten candidates (according to an average of five national polls) will be on stage, which really doesn’t seem fair, since right now, The Blower counts 18 different “declared candidates,” not including Ohio Governor John Kasich, who is in danger of not making the cut for the debate in his home state because he was tied for eighth place with three other candidates in the Ohio Conservatives United Presidential Poll we reported yesterday. If all the “undeclared candidates” were included on August 6, there’d be more than 30 candidates on the stage for that debate, and each one would have a whole two minutes to speak. Maybe there should be a March Madness Playoff, since there are so many already!   

 The 2016 Elections will not only be about correcting ALL of Obama’s mistakes and attempting to secure fair reporting from the Liberal news media, but it would also be making sure Republicans got the leadership they had voted for, as the next 527 days will be the most important period in American History for a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.

But as The Blower predicted, news coverage will continue to be Biased and Dishonest to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, and watching Boehner and McConnell these days is enough to make some Real Republicans say “Screw it,” and become Libertarians, as if that would do any good. 

Meanwhile, other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards: 

 Racial Healing Update

(Featured in Saturday’s E-dition)

Sometimes Words Aren’t Even Necessary

 Sodomy Rites Update

(Also Featured in Saturday’s E-dition)

Alternate Life-Styles Contributors Ben Dover and Phil McKrevis report this week Hyde Park School first-graders finished the school year at their “Big Gay Play Day,” or as they always call it at the Failed Cincinnati PC Schools, “Thursday.”

 This Week’s Liberal Liars Award Goes To

 those three Stupid Streetcar Supporters on Cincinnati City Clown-cil, called out in a Fishwrap letter to the editor from our Disingenuous DemocRAT Double Dipping Hamilton County Auditor, who blasted P.G. Sitt-in-Spin for changing his position before the ink on the ballots was dry. David Mann changed his mind several weeks later, and Kevin Flynn switched after announcing a private foundation would underwrite a portion of the expected streetcar operating costs.

Whistleblower War on Political Correctness

        According to INFOWARS.COM, if you say the “wrong thing” in America today, you could be penalized, fired or even taken to court.Political correctness is running rampant, and it is absolutely destroying this nation. In his novel 1984, George Orwell imagined a future world where speech was greatly restricted. He called that the language that the totalitarian state in his novel created “Newspeak,” and it bears a striking resemblance to the political correctness that we see in America right now.

Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.

Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.”

 The Feck Stops Here

How many more propaganda pieces will The Fishwrap publish during the next week to gin up support for all those homosexual cases before the Supreme Court?

They probably won’t be telling you “Homosexuality Is Not a Victimless Crime & Ohio Is Demonstrating That,” like the folks at The Sons of Liberty, who report things have gotten so bad in Ohio, by the transmission of STDs through homosexual and heterosexual promiscuity, lawmakers are planning to allow doctors to do something that would otherwise land them in prison: prescribe medications for people they do not know, have never met, and have never examined. It’s all part of the Portman/Obama/Strickland Future for Ohio.

Meanwhile, our Feckless Fishwrappers will still be promoting all the Liberal Causes, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.

But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say:  It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”

 Angry Andersonians

Thursday’s E-dition featured some news we doubted would ever happen, but really should when Forrest Gump School Board Members Randy Smith and Jim Frooman resigned their positions. In a joint statement they explained, “We feel we should be held appropriately accountable for the serious setbacks to the school district that occurred recently in our term of office, as they were totally our fault.   If the superintendent we hired, aided, and abetted was forced to resign, so should we.

With Jacked-Up Taxes for Property Owners due on June 22, in Bizarro World, Anderson residents would be getting checks back from the Gumpsters. Unfortunately the Gumpsters are just bizarre, not bizarro.

Overheard:  School Board President Randy Smith saying he agrees with Obama: Man-made climate change caused the Dallas Jackson crisis.

 In Northern Kentucky

BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul said he plans to prevent the renewal of U.S. anti-terrorism programs when the Senate holds a rare Sunday session in a last- ditch effort to extend expiring surveillance rules. “I will force the expiration of the NSA illegal spy program,” Kentucky’s Paul said in a statement Saturday. “I am ready and willing to start the debate on how we fight terrorism without giving up our liberty.”

More Politics Unusual

OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Seth Meyers, “We are now 11 weeks away from the first Republican presidential debate. The debate will be held in a 300-seat theater, so there’ll be almost enough seats for all the candidates” for Republicans in the audience, and “Hillary Clinton’s Super PAC has reportedly been struggling to raise money. It’s gotten so bad, they may have to start reaching out to Americans. Chelsea Clinton has written a children’s book titled “It’s Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired & Get Going” for the Dumbed-Down DemocRATS.

THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says most Dishonest DemocRATS think Illegal Immigrants should Vote, and many Republicans think they already do.

HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says all Real Conservatives will be celebrating Clint Eastwood’s 84th Birthday today.

THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose a trio of Clint Eastwood quotes: “I have a very strict gun control policy: if there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it,” “A man’s got to know his limitations,” and “I tried being reasonable, I didn’t like it.”

LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” No. 258 – Tell a joke: What’s the difference between Obamacare and a car battery? The car battery has a positive side.

JOHN GALT says “It only stands to reason that where there’s sacrifice, there’s someone collecting the sacrificial offerings. Where there’s service, there is someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice is speaking of slaves and masters, and intends to be the master.”

NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: “Just in time for the sweltering summer, we found this passionate poem by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Summer Sex Scandals,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves. 

            “Summer Sensuality”
            Oh, the weather’s getting warmer
            The nights are hot and sultry.
            That’s when the minds of men
            Turn lightly to adultery. 

WHISTLEBLOWER SUMMER INTERN PROGRAM:  May 29 was the final day to email applications for the summer term which runs June 1 through August 21. Applicants must either be tri-state residents attending an accredited college or university in or outside of Ohio or Kentucky. Applicants must also have completed a full academic year by the end of the internship. Participants are expected to commit to a minimum of 20 hours per week of program-related work over the internship.

Applicants must also submit a 1,000-word-or-less essay on “Why it’s OK to Make Fun of Politicians.”

Applications can also be submitted for the fall term: August 25– November 14, 2015

IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “SCAPEGOAT SCORECARDS,” everybody was watching the news about all those “resignations” in the Obama Administration, and our three Corrupt County Commissioners were updating their Obama Scapegoat Scorecards.  This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.

MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Obama’s Long Hot Summer Riot Season Has Not Even Started, and ever since Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Loretta Lynchmob replacing Obama’s Resigned-in-Disgrace Racist Black Attorney General Eric Holder came to town to scout locations for future riots, local shootings have really increased and in Friday’s Fishwrap, Cincinnati’s Police-Chief-on-His-Way-Out Jeffrey Blackwell once again considered quitting, after reports surfaced that Blackwell had been handed resignation papers twice, but chose to stay on the job, saying he didn’t want to leave Cincinnati, but he wouldn’t stay if he wasn’t wanted.

OUR CPD snitches tell us that last week The Ghost got mad and his feelings were hurt so he fled the office for three days, left no one in charge, and his whereabouts were unknown by anyone at CPD!  Most CPD command staff members said it was no different from when he’s physically there in the office!  One quipped, “Who would know the difference?  Chaos has been the norm around here!” Now, that’s real leadership and probably the reason why our City Manager and Mayor don’t want him to quit.  How do you spell B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T?

WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES reports Investors Business Daily says Stocks chalked up yet another week of small changes and tight weekly closes. The Nasdaq on Friday fell 0.5%, while the S&P 500 dropped 0.6%

THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and The Blower reports this week Doofus DemocRAT Presidential Candidate Bernie Sanders introduced a new bill that would make four-year college tuition free. That was really great news, unless you were a student who was just graduated.

Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.

 Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.

FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane reminded Political Insiders that June 1 will be the 18th anniversary of the Hamilton County Stadium tax, and Friday’s door prize for the anti-taxers in the audience was a “Bob Bungalhaus” Punching Bag. “Is there anything as permanent as a temporary tax?” Kane asked.

Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.

THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL

Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.

                   

SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE

e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.

 AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:

Monday (June 1) we’ll be featuring our Special “D-Word” Update, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 599 Days of Dishonesty for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.

Tuesday (June 2) will be publishing some more DemocRAT D-Words, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will tell us if Cincinnati Police Chief Jeffrey Blackwell has yet “Deserted.”

Wednesday, (June 3) we’ll add up all the people now running for President in 527 more days.

Thursday (June 4) we’ll be checking to see if any of our Republicans have as yet summoned up the courage to use the word “Impeachment.”

The first line of Friday’s (June 5) limerick is: “On June 6 we celebrate D-Day.”

And Saturday (June 6), we’ll all be re-enacting our on D-Day Invasion on The Disingenuous DemocRATS.

 Remember:  We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially when Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artist Conception gets a progress report from Cincinnati’s Stupid Streetcar Six.

 WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE

 e-mail your revolutionary recaps today

Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more. 

 Whistleblower Video of the Week

Liberals Explain Gay Marriage

(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Charles Tassell [714 Friends, 97 Mutual Friends, including Lovely Lori Viars and John Becker ], who says he may not be a homophobe, but he is still willing to learn.)

Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.

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