Sunday, May 17, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (May 11), in our Annual “Moms and MILFs” E-dition, The Blower said, “A MILF is a terrible thing to waste!,” and in our Special “Threats and Intimidation” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s time to show our determination!”
TUESDAY (May 12), in our Special “More Mother’s Day Exploitation” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s because politicians have no shame!” and in our Special “Conservative Cartoonery” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’re Putting the Right Slant on the News!”
WEDNESDAY (May 13), in Special “Conservative Commentary” E-dition, The Blower said, “The Latest on the Conservative Agenda” and in Special “Conservative 100 Day Report Card” E-dition, The Blower said, “Boehner and McConnell continue to capitulate!”
THURSDAY (May 14), in our Special “Police Officers Memorial Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Our heroes risk their lives every day to serve and protect,” and in our Special “Tragedies in America” E-dition, The Blower said, “Our News Coverage Just Makes Things Worse!”
FRIDAY (May 15) in our Special “Anderson Announcement” E-dition, The Blower said, “Will we finally find out how much that Jackson Probe cost?” and in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (May 16) in our Special “Honoring the Military” Issue, The Blower said, “Send a salami to your boy in the Army!” and in our Special “Conservative Media Relations” E-dition, The Blower said, “The Best Defense if a Good Offense!”
You Can’t Say You Aren’t Getting Your Money’s Worth!
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE REALLY BIG STORY THIS WEEK was when Murdering Muslim Boston Marathon Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was sentenced to death on Friday an Obama didn’t immediately pardon him.
OUR NUMBER TWO REALLY BIG STORY THIS WEEK was when ABC TV’s Clinton Pimp George Stephanopoulos apologized for not disclosing he’d donated $50,000 to the Clinton Foundation, but it was really $75,000.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE REALLY BIG STORY THIS WEEK was when The Blower exclusively reported Amtrak engineer Brandon Bostian (who caused the accident, killed all those people, lost his memory, and lawyered up) was a really gay activist, a small fact our Kneepad Liberals in the Press chose not to disclose.
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER shows us how Stephanopoulos fails to disclose full truth in his on-air apology.
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
When George Stephanopoulos said he wouldn’t be moderating a Republican presidential debate next winter, did any of the Republican media whores running for president in 2016 ask why ABC TV’s Clinton Pimp had been scheduled to moderate such an important event in the first place? Stephanopoulos has been a Clinton hack for decades. The idea that a news organization would hire him was always ridiculous from the get go. The fact that it took him this long to get busted just speaks to the corruption in both politics and journalism and the ignorance or apathy of the public.
The 2016 Elections will be about correcting ALL of Obama’s mistakes, and attempting to secure fair reporting from the news media would be a high priority if it were all possible, as the next 541 days will be the most important period in American History for a non-stop campaign against Political Correctness, the Devolution of American Culture, and the Liberal News Media. Congress and Kneepad Liberals in the Press continue to lie and say really stupid things without a smidgen of journalistic integrity to advance to Liberal Agenda.
But as The Blower predicted, news coverage will continue to be Biased and Dishonest to appeal to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
Meanwhile, other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
Racial Healing Update
How To Explain The Baltimore Riots In One Sentence:
Blacks riot, destroying Black businesses, after Black guy dies in police custody, because of three Black officers, in a 43% Black police department, under a Black female mayor, with a Black female state attorney, in a city ruled by DemocRATS for more than 50 years, so the first Black female U.S. Attorney appointed by the first half Black president can blame Racism and Conservatives.
Now let’s all watch “Baltimore is Awesome.”
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award
goes to Obama’s US Attorney Carmen M. Ortiz who claimed the Boston Marathon Bombing “was not a religious crime…it was a political crime” at a press conference on Friday. The entire Liberal establishment is dedicated to convincing us of this lie.
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
The Republican Journal says these are tough times for Conservatives. Political Correctness, that is, speaking and acting in a way that the left approves of, has become a required way of life for anyone interested in maintaining reputation, career and status in their community.
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “Q: Whats long and hard on a black man? A: The first grade.”
The Feck Stops Here
Metro Mole reports it was sad to see Wedgie Washburn leave The Fishwrap as editor and vice president, said absolutely nobody on Thursday.
“I thank Wedgie for her tremendous years of service to our readers and company,” said Rick Green, Feckless Fishwrap President and publisher. “I’m supposed to say I wish her the best in her next pursuits as we launch a national search for her politically-correct diversity-obsessed successor.”
Meanwhile, our Feckless Fishwrappers will still be promoting all the Liberal Causes, as well as supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Angry Andersonians
Everybody’s waiting to see if anything bold and unprecentidented is announced after Forrest Gump School Board Members (Forest Heis, M.D.; Randy Smith; Jim Frooman; Julie Bissinger; and Tony Hemmelgarn) emerge from their a “double-top-secret special meeting” at 7:00 AM on Monday (May 18). Will the Board finally be revealing the cost of Resigning-in Disgrace Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson’s so-called investigation that turned out to be a whitewash? Will Board President Randy Smith be admitting the size of the settlement it will be costing over-taxed payers to avoid a lawsuit? Will the Board be accepting Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s generous offer to run the schools in his spare time, since with all The Blower’s snitches, Kane always seems to know more about what’s going in the district on than all the Board Members combined.
In Northern Kentucky
BLUEGRASS BUREAU CHIEF KEN CAMBOO says he’s sorry everybody in Ohio has to watch all that last-minute mud-slinging in Kentucky, especially after the wife of Republican gubernatorial candidate James Comer accused of abusing a slutty girlfriend in college said Saturday the allegations were almost as “vile-and-disgusting” as the tactics of her husband’s opponent Hal Heiner’s campaign working with biased blogger Michael Adams to spread all those lies.
The first Parole Hearing for Covington’s Disgraced-and-Incarcerated Former Finance Filcher Bob Due is scheduled in July, after Due was sentenced to only ten years for embezzling nearly $800,000 of over-taxed payers’ money. “Throw away the key,” said Covington City Commissioner Steve Frank. Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E. Rob Sanders agreed, saying “It’s a shining example of how lax Kentucky parole laws are when it comes to nonviolent offenders. Unless it’s a violent offense, most defendants serve a small fraction of the actual sentence.”
Another judicial ruling The Robster no doubt agreed with this week was when Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, who once upon a time used to claim to be a lawyer, was suspended by the Kentucky Supreme Court one more time, just for good measure. Members of the Cabal of Northern Kentucky Attorneys Out to Destroy “Crazy Eric” say it’s a little bit like bouncing bombs off the rubble of his career, and that doesn’t include Lovely Lisa Wells, who’s getting paid by WLW Hate Radio for doing the program “Crazy Eric” was doing for free.
Also in Northern Kentucky, the CamBoozler has this heartwarming story about the Bluegrass Battalion returning home last night, just in time for Armed Forces Day:
Six-month old Carley Mather had never seen her father Harley Mather until last night, when he returned home to Boondoggle County with the rest of the 169th Underground Mess Kit Repair Group. PFC Mather, a motor pool specialist, had been in Afghanistan for the past eighteen months. Actually, the unit was only supposed to be in a combat area for six months, but one night they all got drunk and the entire unit volunteered to stay an extra year.
When asked by a Channel 19 reporter how it felt to see his six-month old daughter for the first time after being away for a year and a half, Harley thanked his best friend Jody for taking care of his family while he was away and beamed: “Now I finally know what the surprise was my wife kept writing me about.”
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Seth Meyers’: A 94-year-old man is graduating from West Virginia University after studying at the school on and off for 75 years — though I’m guessing mostly off. He’s graduating from college at the age of 94. Just imagine how awkward it’s going to be for the commencement speaker when he says, “You have your whole life ahead of you. Except that dude,” and UC Berkeley students have developed a drone that follows you around, taking selfies of you. This is a shame, because those are exactly the kind of people we should be using the other drones on.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says a plurality (62%) believes race relations are getting worse in Obama’s America and many sociologists argue that the breakdown of the family in the Black community has led to problems in the inner city.
Americans believe even more strongly these days in the importance of a child growing up in a two-parent home and that children who grow up in a home with both parents have an advantage over other kids.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1973, the US Senate began the Watergate Hearings, and The Blower remembers when Hillary was fired from that committee. Jerry Zeifman, a counsel and chief of staff of the House Judiciary Committee, 
who supervised Hillary on the Watergate investigation, wrote in his 2006 book, “Hillary’s Pursuit of Power” that she “… engaged in a variety of self-serving unethical practices in violation of House rules.”
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose Zeifman’s “Hillary Clinton is ethically unfit to be either a senator or president — and if she were to become president, the last vestiges of the traditional moral authority of the party of Roosevelt, Truman, and Johnson will be destroyed.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #135 is to find a feminist and see if she has a sense of humor:
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None. It should be open when she brings it to you.
JOHN GALT says “Happiness is possible only to a rational man, the man who desires nothing but rational goals, seek nothing but rational values and finds his joy in nothing but rational actions. “
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time for what used to be the Drive-in Movie Season, we found this licentious limerick by our old friend Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves, from his latest book, “Remembering When,” found in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“Friday Night Fun”
The demise of the drive-in is sad
There was so much fun to be had
To hell with the movie
There was something more groovy
To make all the sex organs glad.
IN LAST WEEK’S COLUMN FROM PATRONAGE COUNTY TITLED “Profiting From Experience,” our three Corrupt Commissioners from Patronage County were recalling that time many years before they borrowed a county car to cross the Great Divide and join the overflow audience at the Gannett Foundation Distinguished Felons Lecture Series at Thomas More College. The star attractions were Watergate conspirator John Dean III and Senate Watergate chief counsel Sam Dash, reflecting on Watergate a decade earlier. This op-ed column was recalled from the April 28, 1982 edition of the feisty Mt. Washington Press, personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says over at The Fishwrap, Wedgie Washburn and Skaggie Maggie Buchanan succeeded in shedding and shredding the paper into irrelevance during their long tag-team reign. When Gannett told them to maintain artificially high profit margins by cutting costs, these mindless order-takers willingly tossed bodies overboard, closed news bureaus, shut down the printing plant and miniaturized the paper in their blind pursuit of cash bonuses and stock-options. It will take a miracle for The Fishwrap to recover what little stature it had. Gannett should just sell The Fishwrap to someone willing to invest in the business and community, not suck out the profit and wire it off to some faraway corporation.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES reports Investors Business Daily says Stocks were virtually flat Friday, avoiding trouble but adding nothing to the new uptrend. The Nasdaq backed off less than 0.1%, while the S&P 500 and the Dow Jones industrial average edged up 0.1% each. The IBD 50 was flat. Volume fell on both major exchanges. Friday was an options expirations day, which usually lifts volume.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others, and The Blower reminds everybody that offering a discount or a freebie to voters on Tuesday in Kentucky would be illegal. But despite a clear federal ban on such activities, they’ve only proliferated in recent years. Make sure you e-mail us to report such crimes.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane how Republicans should react to the news that ABC TV’s Clinton Pimp George Stephanopoulos has always been lying about his relationship with the Clinton Crime Family. “Real Republicans could always boycott being interviewed on ABC TV and their local affiliates,” Kane explained. So far, the only person to follow The Blower’s sage advice has been Conn Carroll, communications director for Utah Senator Mike Lee, who tweeted he’s keeping his boss off ABC until Stephanopoulos steps down from “all 2016 coverage.”
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (May 18) we’ll featuring our “Bluegrass Indecision 2015” E-dition, but we’ll still be continuing to count down the 613 Days of Dishonesty for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
Tuesday (May 19) will be our “Bluegrass Election Bamboozle” E-dition and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will report the latest voting trends.
Wednesday (May 20) we’ll be congratulating Tuesday’s winners and bashing the losers.
Thursday (May 21) we’ll be checking to see if any of our Republicans have summoned up the courage to use the word “Impeachment.”
The first line of Friday’s (May 22) limerick is: The first line of Friday’s (May 23) limerick is: “Each year at the Taste of the “Natti.”
And Saturday (May 23) we’ll be seeing just how patriotic we can be during the Memorial Day Weekend.
Remember:
We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Marriage” Portman, who’s trailing Former Gayvenor Strickland in the Polls. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows Portman trying to explain some of his not-so-Conservative tendencies.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
At GOP Debate, Governor Candidates Splinter Over Attack Ads
(Sent in by Whistleblower Faux Facebook Friend Campbell County Judge Executive Steve Pendery [1,590 Friends, 41 Mutual including Congressman Thomas Massie and Shane Sidebottom.
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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