Saturday, April 25, 2015 

And the Lies Just Keep On Coming

With our Feckless Fishwrappers continuing to ignore all those lies being told during the 2015 Primary Campaigns (May 5 in Ohio and May 19 in Kentucky), every Person of Consequence in Anderson has been watching the Countdown Clock on the Whistleblower-Newswire Web Page clicking off the Days, Hours, Minutes, and Seconds until 7 PM on Monday. That’s when Board Members at the Forrest Gump School District (Forest Heis, M.D.; Randy Smith; Jim Frooman; Julie Bissinger; and Tony Hemmelgarn) will emerge from executive hiding to attempt to cover their asses for hiring Scandal-plagued Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson in the first place, as well as last year’s illegal campaign for the Humongous $103 million Forrest Gump School District Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million.

Last Year this Week, the U.S. Supreme Court was listening to the most qualified attorney in history argue for the right of all politicians to tell lies during political campaigns, when Christopher P. Finney, Esquire told SOTUS it wasn’t just a politician’s right to lie, was his duty. 

Ohio RINO Party Boss Matt Borges wondered if that meant the anti-tax organization COAST’s Avaricious Attorney fully supported the state party organization spending all that money to tell all those lies about Finney’s friend, “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman, COAST’s other co-founder?

Defeated, Corrupt, Evicted, Lying, Plagiarizing, Meddling, Overblown, Bought-And-Paid-For, Tax-And-Spend, Wrinkle-Puss RINO Bitch-In-A-Ditch “Mean Jean” Schmidt wanted to know if anybody remembered when Chris Finney used the Ohio Elections Commission process to attack her just because she told a few lies during political campaigns.

Ohio Governor Kasich-Taylor said most people didn’t even know it was against Ohio law (and in at least 15 other states), making it a crime to disseminate a knowingly false statement about a candidate or ballot initiative.

Bewildered Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWhine always gets so confused whenever he has argued against himself.

Obama’s Doofus Vice President Joe Biden won today’s Stupid Liberal Liar Award Thursday night, when he was speaking at the 67th Annual Israeli Independence Day Celebration in Washington, D.C., and actually said that “no president has ever done more to support Israel’s security” than Barack Obama.

RINO Senate Majority Leader Bitch McConnell and House Speaker John Boehner were telling political lies during their 2014 campaigns when they promised not to cave in to Obama.     

Our Good Friend Kenton County Commonwealth Attorney E Rob Sanders said if you lie about a candidate in the Bluegrass we don’t prosecute you. We just kick your ass.

Cincinnati Vice Mayor David Mann, along with Clowncilmen Flynn Flam and Sitt ‘n Spin asked if it was against the law to claim they were against the streetcar during the campaign?

 Doofus DemocRAT Steve Dreihaus, Whose Complaint Stifles Free Speech, whose complaint had stifled Free Speech, sent his “Greetings from Swaziland!”

Our Friends at the ACLU asked if there shouldn’t the remedy when a politician lies during a political campaign be for that politician’s opponent to be able to tell an equal number of lies in return?

Hurley the Historian said America has a rich history of lies and half-truths by candidates and presidents. In the modern era, examples range from Richard Nixon’s “I am not a crook,” Bush 41’s “Read my lips, no new taxes,” Bill Clinton’s “I did not have sexual relations with that woman,” and Obama’s “If you like your health care plan, you can keep it.”

Your Quote for Today Committee said that’s why they chose H. L. Mencken’s “The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.”

Obama’s Disgraced Former White House Spokes Dweeb Jay Cardboard said if lying during a political campaign had been a Federal Crime, Obama would’ve already been impeached 100 times by now.

Our Truth in Politics Committee said, “It’s OK if people want to lie to their spouses, friends, lovers, or children. At some point they’ll get caught. But lying to influence elections is not fine with me, because being swept into office on a river of lies will simply corrupt our election process more than it already is.”

Our Truth in Advertising Committee said “If the Supreme Court ruled lying is fine in campaign ads, truth in advertising laws would be as dead as our democracy.”

The Moral Majority said you should never underestimate the Roberts court. We’re sure they can come up with some way to corrupt elections even more than they already are. The court’s recent decisions easing the flow of generous campaign contributions had already shifted the electoral landscape.

The Conservative Agenda said if the court found that even the most patently outrageous statements about candidates could not be barred by law, those two decisions combined could expand the rhetorical battlefield of the midterm elections in 2014 and would raise the attack ad volume in 2016 as never before.

Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken CamBoo said in Kentucky, when our politicians tell lies, we just consider that “Politics as Usual.”

Trish the Dish at Channel 19 wondered if that meant when politicians said something everybody knows isn’t true, we should continue not to mention it, just like members of the news media have always done in the past.

Finally, Whistleblower Legal Dream Spokesman Amicus Curiae wondered if The Blower would continue to expose political liars. You bet! As the official voice of the Conservative Agenda and the publication of record for all the political scrambling, speculation, mud-slinging, and back-stabbing in Southwest Ohio, our readers know to expect nothing less.

Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially, Ohio RINO Senator Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman, who’s trailing Former Gayvenor Strickland in the Polls, for joining the DemocRAT Caucus to approve Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Nominee Loretta Lynch to replace Obama’s Racist Black Attorney General Eric Holder, even after Lynch dodged questions whether she would investigate Hillary’s E-Mail Scandal. Ironically, wasn’t that the same kind of vote that lost DeWhine his Ohio Senate seat?

 —  Whistleblower Official Weekly Disclaimer —

         Sometimes The Blower ridicules lying politicians to show that not telling the truth to the people you represent is not acceptable in our society. This should be clear to anybody who lied when he swore his oath of office.

          This publication is a work of fiction. Any similarity to persons living or dead without satirical intent is purely coincidental, especially our Political Prevaricators.

LYING POLITICIANS HOTLINE

e-mail your dishonest deductions today.

Some less-than-honest items in today’s Blower were sent in by our less-than-honest items subscribers.

WHISTLEBLOWER VIDEO OF THE DAY

65 Outrageous Lies by President Obama

(Sent in by Long-Time Whistleblower Person of Consequence Curt C. Hartman, Finney’s Henchman who claims he helped Finney argue the case for lying politicians in Clermont County.)

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“Family Friendly” By James Jay Schifrin

         “Bring Your Children to Work Day” was celebrated all over Ohio on Thursday, but nowhere more so than at the Patronage County Courthouse, our three family-friendly county commissioners were commemorating the event.

        “I remember the first time I brought my son to work on ‘Bring Your Children to Work Day,’ said Commissioner Pilfer. “He had so much fun, it was easy to get him a cushy county government job when he grew up.”

        “I used to bring my daughter to work on ‘Bring Your Children to Work Day,’ ” said Commissioner Filch. “And now she’s the director of the Nepotism Department. Today she’s trying to find a $50,000-a-year job for the Party Boss’ ex-wife, so he doesn’t have to pay her alimony.”

        “I brought both of my children to work at the courthouse on ‘Bring Your Children to Work Day’ when they were young,” added Commissioner Swindle. “Unfortunately, I’m still doing it every day, because they both still live at home.”

         This op-ed column never appeared at any time in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.