Sunday, April 5, 2015
Your Whistleblower Week in Review
MONDAY (March 30), in our Annual “Mea Culpa” E-dition, The Blower said, “Unlike politicians, when we apologize, we really, really mean it!”
TUESDAY (March 31), in our Special “Contrite Conservatism” E-dition, The Blower said it was “Because we were really, really sorry!”
WEDNESDAY (April 1), in our Special “More April Foolery” E-dition, The Blower said, “The White House Claims ObamaCare Is Really a Big Success!”
THURSDAY (April 2), in our Special “Politically Correct Persecution” E-dition, The Blower said, “And you can be sure The Fishwrap is on board!”
FRIDAY (April 3) in our “Just Another Guest Column” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s still the same old BS!”
SATURDAY (April 4) in our Special “Friends of the Jews” E-dition, The Blower said, “Remember in the ‘Ten Commandments’ when Charlton Heston and his wife Lili Munster led the Jews out of the Land of Egypt?”
AND SATURDAY (April 4) in our Special “Opening Day Hype” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s Almost The Next Year You’ve Been Waiting For!”
This Week’s Top Stories
OUR NUMBER ONE BACK HOMO AGAIN IN INDIANA STORY THIS WEEK was when Indiana Bureau Chief Hoosier Daddy said things had really become Insane in Indianapolis ever since Republican Governor Mike Pence signed a Homophobic Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law that protected people who live their daily lives according to their faith against government discrimination.
OUR NUMBER TWO BACK HOMO AGAIN IN INDIANA STORY THIS WEEK was when Hysterical Hypocrites on the Left began their unwarranted and ill-informed attacks on Indiana and Religious Freedom. Obama Supporters in the Press put an Indiana Pizzeria out of business when they received death threats after its owners said they would serve anybody who came in to their shop but they would not cater gay weddings because of their religious beliefs.
AND OUR NUMBER THREE BACK HOMO AGAIN IN INDIANA STORY THIS WEEK was when much like with Chick-Fil-A and other establishments Sodomy Rites activists have stupidly attacked under false pretenses, Memories Pizza was flooded with an outpouring of support from people who think they have the right to run their business the way they choose, and Liberal Heads exploded when donations for Memories Pizza topped a mere $842,592. Now Liberal Whackos are demanding an investigation, claiming it was all just a Right Wing Scam to make money.
Edward Cropper’s World
Today, PHOTO-SHOP EDITORIAL SPOOFER EDWARD CROPPER showed us what happened when Al Franken Urged David Letterman to Run for Senate in Indiana.
You can see more of Mr. Cropper’s fine work HERE.
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
What do you think would happen when a gay, like SUPER gay Crowder tried to get a super gay wedding cake baked at a Muslim bakery? The Blower is pretty sure you could guess, but you might as well watch this week’s adventure to Dearborn, Michigan to find out!
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, DemocRATS In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards.
This Week’s Liberal Liars Award
How ridiculous was this when Disgraced RINO Arnold Schwarzenegger claimed this in a Washington Post op-ed piece somebody wrote for him: “As a Republican, I’m furious” over Indiana’s Religious Freedom Law, because Reagan would have opposed it as well.
Whistleblower War on Political Correctness
Our openly gay conservative radio host Tammy Bruce appeared on Fox & Friends Thursday to discuss the “frenzy” over the Indiana Pizzeria who said hypothetically that they would not cater a same-sex wedding due to religious convictions. Bruce defended the pizza shop, warning Sodomy Rites Activists against becoming the very “bullies” and “fascists” they should be fighting against.
Bruce called the attacks on the pizzeria another unfortunate instance of the LGBT “mob” taking over, when it is the LGBT community that should best understand the importance of defending those with differing opinions:
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry, according to all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press, who would rather ride to downtown Cincinnati on a bus and stand in line for three hours to vote, than mail in absentee ballots.
Now Here’s Today’s Politically Incorrect Joke: WLW Hate Radio Trash Talking Racist-in- Residence Bill Cunningham told us this one: “How many gay men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, but it takes the entire ER staff to remove it.”
The Feck Stops Here
Metro Mole says after Republican Governor Mike Pence blamed the Liberal News media to blame for mis-characterizing his Homophobic Religious Freedom Restoration Act that protected people who live their daily lives according to their faith against government discrimination, The Fishwrap immediately ran an article contrasting the Indians law with federal law to show they really weren’t biased. Of course, they ignored 20 years of legal precedents and clarifications, and ignored attorneys when it came to the impact on sexual orientation, instead quoting Sodomy Rites Activists to confirm their unmitigated bias.
Meanwhile, gay rights activists across the country who descended on Indiana were treated hospitably by hotels, restaurants, and coffee shops alike. The Fishwrap knows no shame!
A Top Fishwrap Commenter says, “The Fishwrap’s view on this is nonsense. This no more gives businesses the right to discriminate than the national law signed by President Clinton and similar laws other states have enacted. And there is absolutely no evidence any of those laws have resulted in discrimination. So, are to believe The Fishwrap we should not pass such laws that protect religious freedom because the LGTB community thinks it MIGHT discriminate against them, when it hasn’t and won’t? This has nothing to do with discrimination and everything to do with LGBT behavior being socially accepted and embraced.”
Another Blogger in the Basement says, “The Fishwrap should change its name: ‘The Cincinnati Gay and Tranny Post.’ This paper is obsessed w/ LGBT stuff. ‘This ain’t your father’s Fishwrap,’ anymore.”
No doubt our Nine Fine Clowns and Feckless Fishwrappers are still supporting Transgenders Just Looking for a Place to Pee, Over-Sexed Swingers in the Suburbs, Perverted Physicians, and Corpsefuckers at the Morgue, along with PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
But why should any of this surprise you? After all, don’t our Feckless Fishwrappers always say: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Disgraceful Diversity.”
Another Proud Sponsor and Avid Fan
Today’s edition is brought to you by a generous “in-kind” donation during our April fund-raising drive by our gay-owned Chris’ Squealbakery, which despite Cincinnati’s anti-discrimination laws, refuses to make vile-and-disgusting “Traditional Wedding Cakes” with a man and a woman fornicating on top.
Obama’s War on Blacks
A record 12,202,000 Black people were not in the labor force in March, as the participation rate for this group declined over the month to 61.0 percent, according to data released from the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).
According to the BLS, the more than 12 million Black people not in the labor force in March means that they did not have a job or actively seek one in the past four weeks. The number climbed from 12,122,000 in February to 12,202,000 in March, an increase of 80,000.
The Blower wonders if there would ever be a smidgen of doubt that a White Republican president would under constant attack by Disingenuous DemocRATs and their Kneepad Liberals in the Press for his “racist” economic policies against Black Americans?
In Northern Kentucky
Bluegrass Bureau Chief Ken Camboo says Andrew Wolfson at the Courier Journal couldn’t stop his insufferable Liberal whining when DemocRAT Kentucky Governor Steve Beshear said the state’s ban on gay marriage should be upheld in part because it is not discriminatory because both gay and straight people are barred from marrying people of the same sex.
In an argument labeled absurd by Sodomy Rites Activists, Beshear’s lawyer says in a brief filed last week at the U.S. Supreme Court that “men and women, whether heterosexual or homosexual, cannot marry persons of the same sex” under Kentucky law, making the law non-discriminatory.
Beshear has declined to discuss his personal view of gay marriage and said he is defending the state’s ban because he thinks the issue should be decided by the nation’s highest court.
57% of registered voters in Kentucky oppose homosexual marriage, according to a Bluegrass Poll conducted March 3-8. Beshear is barred from seeking another term as governor, although his son, Andrew Beshear, is running for attorney general.
More Politics Unusual
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 2012, Buckeye Bureau Chief Gerry Manders reported Joe Hallett at the Columbus Dispatch broke the news that Ohio RINO Party Boss Kevin DeWhine had finally taken the hint and announced his resignation, instead of being thrown out on his ass at the upcoming Friday the 13th meeting of the state party central committee. Award-winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception was glad DeWhiner decided to take the high road.
THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose DeWhiner’s “Factions within our party are aligned to fight over who is best to lead us forward. A meeting looms where that fight could erupt into a party-splitting dispute that no one will win and everyone will lament. . . . I cannot in good conscience let that fight go forward.” He also said he was resigning to spend more time with his family.
THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says the latest Marist Poll says just 8% of Americans “Strongly Support” Penalties for people who refuse services for Gay Weddings. Listening to the Liberal media and reading social media you’d think the vast majority of Americans would back penalties against florists and bakers who turn down requests for gay weddings, in reality it’s a fringe minority on the left. Even worse for Sodomy Rites Fanatics, the “diversity” three times as many “strongly oppose” penalties.
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER said he heard some really lame jokes about the Indiana’s Homophobic Religious Freedom Restoration Act this week. Conan O’Brien said :Indiana’s governor is coming under fire for a new law that some people feel is anti-gay. The governor now says he is not anti-gay. Then immediately afterwards he said, ‘April Fools.’ It wasn’t his best joke. For the first time, a vegan gluten-free bakery has opened at Disney World. The place is called ‘It’s a Sad World After All.” David Letterman said, “In Indiana, state legislators played a hilarious April Fools’ prank on gays and lesbians. They convinced them they’d passed a law that would let businesses discriminate against them.” And Seth Meyers said, “You’ve all heard about the Indiana religious freedom law? Some people think it’s anti-gay. Well, presidential hopefuls Jeb Bush, Ted Cruz, and Scott Walker have all come out in favor of the new law. Well, I guess I shouldn’t say ‘come out.’ ”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #95 says you should invite all your Liberal friends to a Tax Freedom Day party. Remind them that this is the first day of the year in which the money they work for goes into their own pockets rather than into Big Government’s gaping, insatiable maw. Now if the guys at the Tax Foundation would only tell us when Tax Freedom Day arrives in 2014, all of us Anti-Taxers would know when to start the celebration.
GOING GALT means taking the John Galt Pledge. Let’s all say it together: “I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”
NOW HERE’S THE LATEST FROM BUNKY TADWELL (OUR ODIOUS OCTEGENARIAN), THE BARD OF CLEVES: Just in time to Just in time to enjoy the 2015 baseball season, we found this in his “American Pastimes,” sold in better bookstores everywhere, except in Cleves.
“A Field of Dreams”
When Opening Days finally arrived
It was fun for one and all.
Especially for all the boys
If the girlies would just play ball.
MEANWHILE, OUR MUCKRAKER says Sodomy Rites Fanatics at Cincinnati City Hall are complaining that A&E TV’s new “Sluts in the Suburbs” neighbors who “swap partners and engage in extramarital relationships as they go about their regular lives as parents, professionals, soccer moms and little league coaches reality TV show do not also include Horny Homos Humping in Hartwell, Hyde Park, and Harrison.
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says the stock market took a breather for the Good Friday holiday. Despite the holiday, the Department of Labor’s Bureau of Labor Statistics still rolled out the jobs report as scheduled. The numbers of jobs created in March were much lower than expected and broke a 12 month streak of 200,000 or greater jobs growth.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
This week Gay Guys from Groesbeck are driving to all the way to Dayton for 50 pound buckets of Vaseline. You will be responsible for loading and transport.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, and get all of their information from our Obama Supporters in the Press.
FINALLY, AT YESTERDAY’S MEETING OF THE CONSERVATIVE AGENDA: Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane about how all those Liberal Whackos who are chronically looking for ways to be upset about things were even demanding that Michigan State University, Duke University, the University of Kentucky, and the University of Wisconsin boycott the Final Four if Indiana didn’t fix this law by Saturday. Now everybody’s waiting to see Governor Pence sing the new official Indiana State Song “Back Homo Again in Indiana” at half court before Monday night’s All Gay-Approved NCAA Championship at Lucas Oil Stadium.
Plagiarism Count: Unattributed material was filched from a mere 742 different websites for the production of today’s Blower, many of our filches were from our friends at Weasel Zippers.
THE SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL
Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL HOT LINE
e-mail your stories about worthy waifs today.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”
Monday (April 6) marks the Reds’ Opening Day, which is one of the least productive days of the year for the entire Tri-State Area, as well as continuing to count down the 655 unproductive days for the rest of the nation remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.
Tuesday (April 7) we’ll be trying to gauge reaction to gay-owned Chris’ Squealbakery’s refusal to make vile-and-disgusting “Traditional Wedding Cakes” with a man and a woman fornicating on top, and we’ll see what our Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers have to say about that.
Wednesday (April 8) we’re scheduled to have our taxes done, just so we can find out how much of our hard-earned money will be confiscated by the IRS on April 15 so Obama and our Crooks in Congress could just piss it away again.
Thursday (April 9) we’ll be we’ll be checking in to see how long it’ll be before “Tax Freedom Day” arrives, when the nation as a whole has earned enough money to pay off its total tax bill for the year.
The first line of Friday’s (April 10) limerick is: “This year on the Reds’ Opening Day.”
And Saturday (April 11) we’ll be trying to figure out if the Reds have yet been eliminated this year.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Affirmative Action Aficionados on Cincinnati City Clown-cil!
And Also Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t.
especially Rob “Fighting for Same-Sex Global Warming” Portman. Award Winning Photo Illustrator Artis Conception shows us just how far our Politically Correct Politician might go to get himself introduced at Monday’s Opening Day.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Week
Indiana’s Religious Freedom Czar Defends Its Anti-Gay Law – CONAN on TBS
(Sent in by Citizens for Community Morals President Phil Burr-Ass [325 Friends, 19 Mutual Friends], still a recovering Gay-Basher)
PLUS
Indiana: It’s a Great Place to be a Bigot
Note: We guarantee iPhone subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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