Sunday, November 16, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
- OUR NUMBER ONE EDWARD CROPPER EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS THIS WEEK shows us Obama’s 100% Non-Impeachment Insurance Policy In His Pocket.
- OUR NUMBER TWO EDWARD CROPPER EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS THIS WEEK shows us A Clown Show: Boehner ‘Threatens’ Amnesty Lawsuit.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE EDWARD CROPPER EDITORIAL SPOOF ON CURRENT EVENTS THIS WEEK shows us Nancy Pelosi asking “When Was the Last Time You Asked Mitch McConnell” if He’s Too Old?
- MONDAY in Our Annual “Veterans Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “If you meet a war protester today, it’s OK to kick him in the balls, if he has any!
We should’ve been forever different after September 11, because then patriotism was suddenly back in style.
Hurley the Historian says in those days you saw American flags everywhere and Liberals at least pretended to promote the same American values they’d been running down for years. People were even e-mailing each other patriotic poems.
In 2004, John Kerry’s phony patriotism couldn’t get him elected after Swift Boat Veterans for Truth blew him out of the water.
In 2008, more than 63 million Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, who totally ignored John McCain’s heroic war record and voted for Obama and all those other Disgraceful DemocRATS, must not have thought a silly little thing like Patriotism was still important.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Honoring Veterans” E-dition, The Blower said, “We’re Thanking All Those Who Have Served!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Today, Obama’s Veterans Day greetings are even more sincere than his ObamaCare apology. — Whistleblower Senior National Political Affairs Analyst Britt Humus
At least these days veterans have found someone to despise more than me. —Hanoi Jane Fonda
Maybe that’s because for the past 70 years, every American President except Obama has taken the time to honor the memory and sacrifices of the 6,000 American soldiers killed on D-Day. In 2014, Obama flew to Normandy for just another photo op, attempting to divert attention from all of his military-related scandals, hoping nobody would ask our Incompetent-in-chief how illegally trading those five murdering Terrorist Four-Star Taliban Generals for a known traitor like Bowe Bergdahl was working out for him.—Veterans Who Remember
Maybe they just see him as another Liberal they have to obey and hope he doesn’t screw things up to the point where the next President can’t put things back together. —General Betray-Us
And maybe it’s because the day has come upon us in America where we accept lies from our president. We accept laws that do not apply to everyone, not even to our elected officials. We find our Supreme Court hearing a case as to whether or not we can pray openly before civic meetings, when our nation’s motto is “In God We Trust.” —Conservative Commentator Allen West, Against All Enemies, Foreign and Domestic
Does anybody remember the President’s Veteran’s Day Message when I was the Commander in Chief? —George W. Bush
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Same Time Last Year” E-dition, The Blower said, “Those Were the Good Old Days!”
Think of how much things have changed since last year since the Wednesday after Veterans Day in 2013. It was our Special “Veterans Day Reflections” E-dition, because just one day of thanks wasn’t enough!
Last year on Veterans Day Obama honored those who had given the last full measure of their devotion at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery by dropping a “Jesus Bomb” in a hot mic moment after he climbed the stairs and entered the building. Veterans Day is the nation’s second most patriotic holiday, next to Independence Day (July 4 for you FCPS honor students). Maybe next year Obama can just lay a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor in Chicago. Do you think any of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, would ever know the difference?
Whistleblower War Hero Ollie Hackworth says veterans are deeply disappointed. Regardless of what political party you endorse, you always saw pictures of prior Presidents at least pretending to be patriotic on Veterans Day.
The Blower remembers when Former President George W. Bush addressed a packed house at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Dayton, Ohio. Dubya thanked all our brave Veterans who helped secure the freedoms we enjoy. Most Whistleblower readers don’t take them for granted. God bless America!
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY in our Special “Veterans Day Reflections” E-dition, The Blower said, “Because One Day Of Thanks Just Isn’t Enough!”
Turkey Contest Update
At yesterday’s meeting of the Conservative Agenda, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane why Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman had suddenly been included as a “favorite” in The Blower’s 2014 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant). The deadline for nominations is next Friday. Possibly it’s because USA Today reported the National Organization for Marriage said Monday it will oppose the Ohio Republican if he runs for re-election or seeks the presidency, since Portman became the first prominent GOP senator in 2013 to declare his support for gay marriage, when he said he had a change of heart because his son came out as gay.
In a related story, CitizenLink Reports Ohio’s Legislature, other state officeholders and its congressional representation just turned strongly more conservative. That means more support for issues such as life, marriage and religious freedom. Stuart Shepard got the inside scoop of how that change was brought about. You’ll want to hear his enlightening conversation with Charles Tassell, vice president of government and public policy at Citizens for Community Values Action. [SEE IT HERE]
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Now Let’s Meet Today’s Guest Editor:
Why, it’s none other than Ohio First District Congressman Steve Chabothead, who says, “We all suspected that the Obama Administration was lying to the American people when they pushed the so-called Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) through Congress. Now we know that suspicion was true. [READ MORE HERE].
Real Republican Congressman Chabothead, as you may recall, was one of the managers at Slick Willie’s Impeachment Trial, who set out the legal requirements of perjury and accused the president of meeting all of them.
That’s why The Blower, which takes pride in supporting Impeachment for Lying Bastards in the Oval Office, is pleased to permit Ohio’s Distinguished First District Congressman to be today’s guest editor and choose three items plus a little Quickie for today’s E-dition from our Current Cadre of Conservative Columnists and Contributors.
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in Special “Weekend Whoppers” E-dition, The Blower said, “DemocRATS Are No Longer Just “Disingenuous!”
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire Update
OK, PERSONS OF CONSEQUENCE: It’s time to update your Whistleblower Lexicons. No longer will we be using the term “Disingenuous DemocRATS” when they don’t tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Our official term will now be “Dishonest DemocRATS” every time one of these lying bastards opens his mouth, because we’ve just recently learned how badly America got “Grubered” over ObamaCare.
MIT professor Gruber was caught on video saying the law was deliberately written in a confusing way so “stupid” American voters wouldn’t understand the real cost to them and thus would be less likely to oppose it.
That’s why our Quote for Today Committee chose South Carolina Republican Congressman Trey Gowdy’s defiant message to Gruber, the Obamacare “architect” who said in 2013 that a lack of transparency and the “stupidity of the American voter” helped get the law through Congress. “You want to see how stupid our fellow citizens are? Take a look at last Tuesday night,” Gowdy said, referring to the sweeping GOP victories in the midterm elections, “Because they rejected you, this bill and this administration.”
[READ MORE HERE]
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
We Got “Grubered!”
Thursday’s “Liberals Say the Stupidest Things” Award went to ObamaCare Architect Jonathan Gruber, for admitting “Lack of transparency is a huge political advantage. Call it the stupidity of the American voter or whatever, but basically that was really, really critical to get the thing to pass. I wish … we could make it all transparent. But I’d rather have this law than not.” Unfortunately, what Gruber grumbled was totally true.
The Blower remembers when the Obama Administration, along with Deceitful DemocRATS and Obama Supporters in the Press were claiming this buffoon was an “honest broker” and a “disinterested academic.” You probably don’t, but then you also probably didn’t know Professor Gruber got a series of government contracts totaling more than $2 million from the Obama Administration for “services rendered” and attended piles of meetings at the White House, including at least one by Obama himself in the Oval Office. We bet you didn’t know that either.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, Democrats In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards:
Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS TELL THE STUPIDEST LIES” AWARD
Dishonest DemocRAT House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi tried to claim she didn’t know who Gruber is, but in 2010 she touted the ObamaCare Lie Manufacturer on her website and even mentioned him during a press conference.
The Feck Stops Here
Metro Mole says it’s understandable you haven’t seen much about those embarrassing Gruber tapes in The Fishwrap, what with Editor Wedgie Washburn being so busy these days getting rid of all those good reporters before Christmas and ginning up the Liberal outrage over the latest gay marriage decision, because you must remember what The Fishwrap always says, Folks: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Diversity.”
- But let’s face it, although The Blower had called ObamaCare a big bag of lies from Day One, it took Ohio First District Congressman Steve Chabothead a really long time to be the first to claim “We all suspected that the Obama Administration was lying to the American people when they pushed the so-called Affordable Care Act (ObamaCare) through Congress. Now we know that suspicion was true.” [READ MORE HERE].
This weekend, when Ohio Second District Congressman “Bronze Star Brad” Wenstrup got to deliver the Weekly Republican Address [WATCH IT HERE], speechwriters added “We’ve now come to learn that one of ObamaCare’s architects said the law passed because Americans were ‘too stupid to know’ what was happening. This is the same arrogance we’ve seen time and time again from this administration and its allies.” Still, “Bronze Star” never called Obama a liar.- Ohio Dishonest DemocRAT Senator Sherrod Brown voted for ObamaCare, so he never called Obama a liar.
- Ohio Republican Senator Rob “Fighting for Fagellas” Portman, who’s been too busy planting stories about his run for the Oval Office in 2016, never called Obama a liar.
- Ohio Congressman John Boehner, who as Speaker of the House has been too busy caving in to Obama, never called Obama a liar.
- Ohio Republican Governor Kashich-Taylor, who was too busy raking in millions of dollars in ObamaCare incentives, never called Obama a liar.
- COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney, who continues to fight for politicians’ “Right to Lie” during political campaigns, never called Obama a liar.
- Members of the local NAALCD (National Association for the Advancement of Liberal Colored DemocRATS), who for the second consecutive election, had voting for the Cincinnati chapter president and executive board suspended and rescheduled by the national NAALCD office in Baltimore, never called Obama a liar.
- Hamilton County Demo-Labor Party Boss Tim Burka, who’s been too busy finding crappy candidates to run for county-wide offices, never called Obama a liar.
- Defeated DemocRAT State Rep-tile Candidate Micah Kram-Ass, whose lies forced Ohio Republicans to spend big bucks to defeat him after Jerry Springer and $tan Che$ley gave him all that money, never called Obama a liar
- Doomed DemocRATS Attorney General Candidate David Pepper and Probate Judge Candidate Charlie Luken, never called Obama a liar.
- Forrest Gump Schools Superintendent “Smiling Dallas” Jackson, who was too busy Grubering Voters into passing his “The Unaffordable Schools Plan” in November, never called Obama a liar.
- Anderson Township Trustee Josh Gerth, seen shilling for the tax-and-spenders in this video, and Anderson TEA Party Guy Andy Pappas, whose name was included in that full-page ad of Tax Scam Supporters, never called Obama a liar.
- In Kentucky, Rick “The BatBoy” Robinson, whose latest column failed to mention the Gruberization of American Politics, never called Obama a liar.
- Kentucky Senator Bitch McConnell, who claims he’s not ready to go to war with Obama over coal, never called Obama a liar.
- Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Wondergams Grimes, who still won’t say if she voted for Obama, never called Obama a liar.
- Kentucky Congressman Thomas Massie, who said Boehner’s House vote for Speaker was just like the way they vote North Korea, never called Obama a liar.
- NoKY DemocRAT Dominatrix Kathy Groob, who says she’s really sorry she called Bitch McConnell’s wife a “chink,” never called Obama a liar.
- Eric “Call Me Crazy” Deters, who says now that he’s no longer practicing law, he’s turned over calling Obama a liar to some of the other lawyers in his office, never called Obama a liar.
- Dishonest DemocRAT Fund-raiser Nathan “Cornbread” Smith did remember calling Obama a liar one time at that fund-raiser he held for Hillary in his back yard.
- But local TV Anchorbimbos have never ever called Obama a liar, since they’re following the lead of Network Obama Supporters in the Press on ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, and PMSNBC, whose jobs they hope to someday aspire.
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Jimmy Fallon’s “It’s rumored that President Obama is planning to announce a new 10-part immigration plan before Thanksgiving. And you thought your family wouldn’t have anything to argue about this year.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #322 is to find a feminist and see if she has a sense of humor:
Q: How many men does it take to fix a woman’s watch?
A: What does she need a watch for? There’s a clock on the oven!
- GOING GALT means recognizing that you’re being punished not for your vices but for your virtues.
- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says, ObamaCare is back in the news, for better or worse. The U.S. Supreme Court has opted to hear another legal challenge of the health care law, while the Obama administration hopes the glitches in the federal exchange website have been fixed in time for this weekend’s open health insurance enrollment. Meanwhile, several videos have surfaced showing one of the law’s chief architects saying it was deliberately written in a confusing manner so “stupid” voters wouldn’t realize how much the law could end up costing them. [READ MORE HERE]
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Persons of Consequence can now follow the on-going antics of the –dare we say, “mythical?”– cast of characters from The Blower’s archived columns. These articles will be Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster Kane’s attempt to encourage undiscovered young writers, such as our brand new columnist who shares his acute and oh-so-accurate take on local Politics as Usual in satirical Patronage County. This week’s column titled “No Explanations” first appeared in the Mt. Washington Press on November 10, 1982, personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols.
HURLEY THE HISTORIAN SAYS on this date in 1532, Spanish explorer and conquistador Francisco Pizarro invited the Incan emperor to a feast, and then he opened fire on the unarmed Incans. Pizarro required the Incans to pay a 24-ton gold and silver ransom to obtain the return of their emperor. Pizarro then murdered the emperor anyhow. GOP House Speaker John Boehner and new Senate Majority Leader Bitch McConnell say they think about that story every time they have to attend a meeting with Obama and the Dishonest DemocRATS at the White House- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE chose American Educator Robert M. Hutchins’ “The death of democracy is not likely to be an assassination from ambush. It will be a slow extinction from apathy, indifference, and undernourishment.”
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: Halloween is nearing and we have another timely poem from the Bard of Cleves.
Self Control
The publisher of the Whistleblower
Met a lass who was so sublime.
Only the lack of testosterone
Kept him from a sexual crime.
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: With Ohio still appealing Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns, everybody was saying when Judge Black recused himself in that abortion clinic case, it was the first time they actually agreed with any of his rulings. Now he should recuse himself from every other issue he would fail to adjudicate correctly.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. [READ MORE HERE]
WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says this week according to T. Rowe Price, stock prices were remarkably steady through most of the week, especially in comparison to recent volatility, but the market managed to end the week with modest gains that took the large-cap benchmarks to new records.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
TURKEY OF THE YEAR CONTEST: Next Saturday is the deadline for nominations for The Blower’s 2014 Whistleblower Turkey of the Year Contest (sponsored by Dummy’s Restaurant).
And like everything else in The Blower, nominees will always be discriminated against on the basis of race, religion, color, sex, age, non-disqualifying physical or mental disability, national origin, sexual orientation, or any other basis covered by local law).
And don’t forget, Northern Kentucky turkeys won’t be left out, because separate winners will be awarded for both Ohio and the Bluegrass.
FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster about the way both Conservatives and Liberals are talking about Impeaching Obama these days. Impeachment talk has swirled around Washington since the Obama threatened that an executive order overhauling America’s immigration system was imminent. “But everybody knows nothing’s really going to change during the next two years as long Obama’s in the Oval Office,” Kane Explained, “and both Conservatives and Liberals are using the Threat of Impeachment to raise money. Plus everybody knows Republicans would never impeach Obama, because that would mean Joe Biden would be president, which is why The Blower said Obama picked Biden as his running mate in the first place, as Impeachment Insurance!”
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Butch LaDeux, a very troubled 11-year-old second-grader who was not doing well in school, even by the Forrest Gump School District’s standards. The truth is, Butch is illiterate, and he always tries to cover up his feelings of inferiority by punching little kids in the stomach and stealing their lunch money. For information about our carrier program, please call Mr. Scamwell at our circulation department
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (November 17) The Blower will feature its Our Special “Political Prevaricators” E-dition, and there will still be 795 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (November 18) we’ll be getting ready for “Have a Bad Day” on Wednesday, and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be telling us how they intend to stop everybody from saying “Have a Good Day” already.
- Wednesday (November 19) will be our Special “Gettysburg Address” E-dition, and Patriotic Americans are waiting to see if Obama doesn’t show up for the 151st Anniversary Event.
- Thursday (November 20) will be our Special “Lie Checker” E-dition which has been working 24/7 During the Obama Administration!
- The first line of Friday’s (November 7) limerick is: When Obama said you could keep your old plan.
- And Saturday (November 22) will be our Special “Kennedy Assassination” E-dition, guaranteeing maximum exploitation by the Liberal Media.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially Ohio Senator Rob “Fighting for Same Sex Marriage” Portman and his 2016 Presidential Running Mate barney Frank, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception’s Archives clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
Obama Crafted Obamacare Deception With Gruber At White House Meeting
(Sent in by Published on Nov 13, 2014: On June 13, 2012, Gruber interviews with Frontline and tells them that the Cadillac tax issue was addressed. Obama knew it was going to be a problem, and they all agreed to lie about it.
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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