Sunday, October 19, 2014
The Whistleblower Week in Review
OUR NUMBER ONE OBAMA’S HEALTHY CHOICE FOR AMERICA THIS WEEK was when Obama chose John Gilligan’s Ditzy Daughter Kathleen Sebelius, Who Finally Resigned in Disgrace as Obama’s Secretary of Health and Human Services overseeing ObamaCare, but stuck around long enough to collect her humongous government pension and FREE Health Care Benefits.
- OUR NUMBER TWO OBAMA’S HEALTHY CHOICE FOR AMERICA THIS WEEK was when Obama’s Clueless Center For Anything Except Disease Control Director Tom Frieden, who’s hearing more calls for his resignation every day, found it difficult to explain whether or not the White House had ruled out a travel ban to parts of West Africa because of the Ebola crisis.
- AND OUR NUMBER THREE OBAMA’S HEALTHY CHOICE FOR AMERICA THIS WEEK was after his old Ebola Czar nobody ever heard of went missing, and his new “Ebola Response Coordinator” turned out to be a political hack with no health care experience and who wouldn’t be starting the job for months, Obama played golf on Saturday at Fort Belvoir in Virginia. His partners were two of the usual junior White House aides, Joe Paulsen and Marvin Nicholson, and sportswriter Tony Kornheiser. It was the 44th time the 44th president played this year and over-taxed payer funded outing #201 of his presidency.
- MONDAY in our Official “Columbus Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Liberals claim Columbus Day celebrates the deaths of 20 million people!”
Hello, Columbus!
Hurley the Historian says according to the PC Police, Columbus Day is a great time for all Hate-America-First Liberal Bed-wetters overcome with White Guilt to accuse the man credited with discovering our continent with Grand Theft, Genocide, Racism, Initiating the Destruction of a Culture, Rape, Torture, and Maiming of indigenous people, and instigating the Big Lie.
Our Quote for Today Committee chose film maker John Water’s observation about Columbus Day: “I also hate those holidays that fall on a Monday where you don’t get mail, those fake holidays like Columbus Day. What did Christopher Columbus do, discover America? If he hadn’t, somebody else would have and we’d still be here. BFD!”
And if you check your calendar, it says today is also Thanksgiving Day in Canada. Maybe that’s why so many Canadian Turkeys have been illegally crossing the border lately.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Special “Republicans Caused Ebola!” E-dition, The Blower said, “It’s Just Another “Teachable Moment” for the Obama Administration!” and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” included:
Please stop reminding people about Obama’s declaration that the chances of an Ebola outbreak in the U.S. would be “extremely rare.” — Obama’s White House Spinner Josh Earnest
You mean we were actually supposed to monitor people who came into contact with the First Ebola Victim who died? —CDC (Center for Disease Confusion
Please don’t ask why we funded research on why lesbians are fat instead of Ebola. —Obama’s National Institute of Health
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Official “Great Debate” E-dition, The Blower said “Thankfully It Was Produced by the League of Women Vipers!”
More Astute Political Analysis
Monday night, almost nobody in Ohio and very few people in Northern Kentucky were on the edge of their seats watching what we have come to expect in the way of over-hyped televised Candidate Debates, this one thankfully will be the only debate between Liberal Media Darling Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes and Stodgy Old Bitch McConnell, the Republican Minority Leader in the U.S. Senate.
WHISTLEBLOWER POLLSTER RON RASMUSSEN says as the midterm election season enters the final stretch, most voters consider debates important to their vote and good indicators of where the candidates stand. But for the majority, a debate has never changed the way they ultimately decided to vote. Just 17% of Likely Voters say debates are important to how they would vote, and 83% believe Americans are not informed voters. Imagine that.
MORE ASTUTE POLITICAL ANALYSIS: The Grimes campaign was spinning and grinning even before the debate began. Alison e-mailed “I just left the debate stage and I hope I made you proud up there,” and asked for $5 donation. An hour later, Alison’s campaign e-mailed “it wasn’t even close – it was a knockout,” and asked for another $5 donation. However, at the exact same moment, The Hill was reporting “Alison had again refused reveal whether she voted for Obama,” and The Daily Caller said observers were surprised Alison Dodged the Question for a FIFTH Time In 24 Hours.
[READ MORE HERE]
- TUESDAY in our Official “Traci Hunter Verdict” E-dition, The Blower said “There Was No O.J. Moment This Time!”
More Astute Legal Analysis
Hamilton County’s Long Legal Nightmare was over Tuesday morning when Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter was finally found guilty of a felony that will end her judicial and law career.
It sounded like Legendary Sportscaster Ken Broo that Judge Nadel brought in to read the verdict on live TV— “She’s outta here! That bitch is waaaay outta her.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- WEDNESDAY in our Special “Ditzy and Ditzier” E-dition, The Blower said “Here’s More About Our Dumbed Down DemocRAT Dames!”
Recapping Yesterday’s Breaking News Stories
TRACI’S TROUBLES: Our Compassionate Conservative says “Convicted EX-Judge” Hunter’s only hope for staying out of jail is to admit that she’s NUTS! Too bad Longview isn’t still around, because she could be waving to all her followers from Seymour Avenue. A Mental evaluation is necessary, but Judge Nadel did say when he told the Ditzy DemocRAT and her Jail House Lawyer to sit back down because he wasn’t finished delivering his good news that he was going to pronounce sentence on December 2 and 10 AM. Judge Nadel said he would consider the fact that Judge Traci had no record and against that, she was a public official and a judge held to a higher level of conduct and that she had gone from potential role model to convicted felon and had caused a blow to public confidence to the judicial system and that the penalty for her violation did include jail time.
[READ MORE HERE]
- THURSDAY, in our Special “National Bosses Day” E-dition, The Blower said, “Do you think all The Blower’s employees will get the message today?”
Happy Bosses Day, Everybody!
National Bosses Day, also known as Boss’s Day, is celebrated every year on October 16. According to the “Inquisitr,” you should always mark the date on your calendar, especially if you want to keep your job. And if you don’t have time to buy a card, you can always post a quote about how great your boss is on Facebook or send a one-line greeting right to the head honcho via a text message.
OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE says most people would be impressed with Bill Gates’ “If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure,” but Wise Guys at The Blower prefer John Gotti’s “If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- FRIDAY, in our “Just Another Guest Column E-dition, The Blower explained, “But It’s Still the Same Old BS!”
Penis Painting Protests
At Thursday night’s meeting, Angry Andersonians gave our Township Trustees an earful about all that negative publicity the Township has been receiving lately. The Forrest Gump School Board and their willing accomplices at the Forest Hills Urinal have been doing their best to cover up the controversy during their campaign to promote their $103 million tax levy that would really cost over-taxed payers more than $170 million ever since last weekend’s incident at Anderson High School, when a Turpin student we’ll call Mohammed was arrested for painting a large penis on the Anderson football field before the big annual Anderson-Turpin football game. The Hamilton County Sheriff’s Department continues to maintain that Penis Painting Case is still currently “under investigation,” just like they used to always tell us after Defeated and Disgraced Anderson Trustee Kevin “Big Spanky” O’Brien was arrested for masturbating in a Wellborn woman’s car, and The Blower is acting responsibly by not releasing the penis painting student’s last name to protect the privacy of penis painters everywhere.
MORE TAX HIKE OPPOSITION: Opponents of the Gumpers’ Titanic Tax Hike say Most “No Voters” among the 75% who pay taxes but don’t have kids in the schools, see 32.5 years to pay, but will be back in the same spot in 15-25. “Yes Voters” start to see this when it’s explained. Some “No Voters” are multiplying out that $144 per $100k for their more expensive homes. Slam dunk! That’s a big number for any home over $300K, especially when tied to the above.
Somebody with a better plan might be Blower Babe Elizabeth Barber, a Forest Hills resident and an Anderson High School alumna. She was a member of the superintendent’s facilities advisory committee in 2014 and is a spokesperson for A Better Way for Forest Hills. You can read her guest column “Facilities plan too much makeup, not enough change” here. You’d never know this group ever existed from reading The Urinal.
Anderson people know Turpin looks down their noses at them, so they can’t stay home. On November 4, they have to get up off their couches and “Vote Hell No.”
[READ MORE HERE]
- SATURDAY in Special “Ebola Czar” E-dition” E-dition, The Blower said, “Appointing an “Official Response Coordinator” shows just how serious Obama is!”
Another Great Obama Choice— The Mind Boggles!
On Tuesday, when The Blower reported GOP Senile Senator John McRINO’s call for an “Ebola Czar,” Photo-Shop Editorial Spoofer Edward Cropper showed us McRINO’s choice. But on Friday, Obama announced Ron Klain would be his “Ebola Response Coordinator,” not exactly his “Czar.” Now all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, will really be impressed. But you should see this guy’s resume. Klain’s previous claim to fame was helping Obama prepare for presidential debates, is not particularly encouraging, either. But things could be worse. He could’ve put Cincinnati City Clowncil in charge.
[READ MORE HERE]
The Libtard Show With Dixon Diaz
This Week’s Top Item On The Conservative Agenda
It’s all about Ebola. Because Even though he already has one, President Obama today hurriedly named Ron Klain to be his “Ebola Response Coordinator.” He’s a political hack — with no medical experience whatsoever, who’s one of the same crooks fine officials “who gave the green light to pissing away billions of federal dollars on Solyndra.”
Meanwhile, Doug Ross shows us his Top 10 #BetterEbolaCzars.
Other current items on The Conservative Agenda will just have to wait, including: Obama’s Leadership, The Clinton Legacy, Other Dishonest Democrats, Obama’s Secret Service, Biden’s Blunders, Obama Supporters In The Press, Democrats In Disarray, Polling For Trolls, Veterans, Racial Healing, Amnesty For Future DemocRATS, Baby Killing, and Making Sure Not To Hurt The Feelings Of All Those Murdering Muslim Bastards:
Other Liberal Agenda Items will have to wait too, including: PC (If It’s Politically Correct, You Can’t Object), Tree Hugging, Keeping People From Smoking, Diversity Uber Alles, Unions Blues, Fanatical Feminists, Supporting Sodomy Rites, Global Warming: G-Uncontrol, Liberal Brainwashing In Schools, Voting Rights For People Who Are Too Stupid To Vote, Streetcars, Scalping the Washington Redskins, and Giving Away Free Stuff With Your Money.
TODAY’S “LIBERALS SAY THE STUPIDEST THINGS” AWARD
The Blower remembers when Obama’s newly named “Ebola Response Coordinator” Ron Klain said Joe Biden was his “Role Model And Mentor” for over 25 years. The exact stupid quote was: “I have been honored to serve in the Obama-Biden administration, and to work again for Vice President Biden, who has been my mentor, friend, and role model for more than 25 years.”
The Feck Stops Here
THIS WEEK AT THE FISHWRAP, Metro Mole says calls started coming in with complaints about this year’s political endorsements, like the one for Micah Kamrass, the Devious DemocRAT running for State Rep-tile in Ohio’s 28th district, an open seat vacated by Connie Obama Babe Connie “The Pillager,” who’s running for Ohio State Treasurer.
REPUBLICANS FOR HIGHER TAXES applaud recent college grad Kamrass for accepting a large campaign from the King of Sleaze Jerry Springer. They hope Kamrass can contribute as much to Ohio’s future as Springer has to America’s.
Kamrass, as The Blower reported yesterday, is the Desperate Democrats’ Great White Hope for the party to remain relevant in the suburbs. The Feckless Fishwrappers won’t tolerate anyone supported by COAST and would rather support someone with backing from the likes of Jerry Springer, and another disgraced former attorney, $tan Che$ley along with the Rev Al Sharpton, who’s just plain disgraceful. How else could Skaggie Maggie’s All-Vagina Idiotorial Board justify its endorsement of such an untested and unqualified candidate? Here’s the Money Quote in Wednesday’s Whacky Endorsement: “We endorse Kamrass with more than the usual amount of enthusiasm. Not since P.G. Sittenfeld have we seen such a young candidate with as much poise and political intelligence.” No kidding, The Vagina really did write that, but P.G. refused to admit he begged her to say it.
Republicans for Higher Taxes were also invited to a special Kamrass Kampaign slumber party, and were kind enough to report on their special night.
And Citizens For Community Values Homophobe-in-Chief Phil Burr-Ass wonders why a Gay Right’s Activist Judicial candidate for Hamilton County Family Court would try to mislead folks into thinking he was “Pro-Family.” Was it because he thought if he told people he was “Focused on Families” they might believe he was part of James Dobson’s Legacy? Why didn’t he send a picture of himself and his proud partner? Maybe that wouldn’t have been as well received? What exactly does it mean when a homosexual activist tells the public that he is “focused on families?” And if your family values don’t match his, can he take your kids away?
What if this judge doesn’t like where the family takes their children to church? Can he subpoena the pastor’s sermons like the mayor of Houston is doing? Or would he just hold them in contempt and place the children with a “family” he valued?
Remember what The Fishwrap always says, Folks: It’s not Baseball, Mom, or Apple Pie that have always made our area great, it’s our “Diversity.”
Forrest Gump Schools October Surprise # 42
A Turpin Sophomore we’ll call Muhammed was officially chosen Poster Boy for the Forrest Gump School’s $103 million Transformation Tax Hike that will really cost dumbed-down voters $170 million, after he got himself arrested for painting a vile-and-disgusting penis on the Anderson football field before last weekend’s big annual Anderson-Turpin football game. But our Gumpers have always had a problem molding the hearts and minds of the children who’ve been entrusted to their care. You’d be amazed at the number of Turpin senior boys The Blower has polled who didn’t recognize the name of Playboy Playmate Stephanie Heinrich, who now claims she never saw a penis on the football field when she was a Turpin cheerleader.
Tax Hike Opponents need to hit people over the head with how much the 32.5 year tax hike will really cost them. Too many people pay taxes through escrow don’t pay attention. That’s the sinister thing about real estate taxes.
Another thing. Where are our “fiscally conservative” TEA Party endorsed, Republican Trustees on this one? Real Republicans don’t want to see them running on an anti-tax, Conservative platform next time around. True, they have no dog in this fight, but they are representatives and over-taxpayers, right? Every one of them should be ashamed of themselves.
And another, another thing. If it’s all about keeping the Anderson community strong with a strong and safe school system, that’s all well and good. But, what about families leaving Anderson because of the taxes? More of our neighbors are moving across the county line to a comparable house because of taxes! We lose good people each year because of this.
Sign Wars Update: “No on Issue 8”
Bluegrass BJs
Today, Political Analysts all over Kentucky are still scratching their heads, wondering exactly why Ditzy DemocRAT Alison Wondergams Grimes was stupid enough to let herself be taped trying not to tell the Louisville Courier-Journal editorial board how many times she voted for Obama, especially when countless times during the next week Alison made the made the same mistake.
Now Alison’s campaign is complaining that every radical dark money group in the country is lining up behind Bitch McConnell, a long-time champion for no-holds-barred corporate contributions in political campaigns, while trying to get some positive spin in the news that Disgraced Former Pants Dropper in Chief Bill Clinton would be once again joining Alison on the campaign trail, and Slick Willie Blow Job Jokes will be all the rage.
That’s why The Blower in the spirit of true bipartisanship has some sound advice for Alison’s Clueless Campaign Staff. If somebody from the news media asks if Alison would’ve given Bill Clinton a blow job if she’d been an intern in the White House, please…do not let her answer that question. Alison is shown her responding to another one of Slick Willie’s “political propositions.”
Whistleblower Guest Column and Election Letter Policy
Here are The Blower’s guidelines for elections-related guest columns and letters to the editor. Columns must be no more than 100 words, but letters may be up to 57 words. All letters and columns are subject to extreme editing. Columns must include a color nude photo (jpg format) and a complete background check of the author. For levies and ballot issues, we will run one column opposed to the issue and one column against. Columns should be from official anti-levy groups.
More Politics Unusual
OUR LATE NIGHT TV JOKEWATCHER liked Conan O’Brien’s “All NFL teams have received a newsletter informing them about the dangers of Ebola. Meanwhile, Ebola has received a letter about the dangers of the NFL. President Obama is trying very hard to put people at ease about Ebola. Obama said he hugged and kissed some of the nurses in Atlanta who had treated the patients with Ebola. Man, Obama will do anything to get out of that job right now.”
LIBERAL LUNACY: In Human Events’ “365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy,” #295 is to quote P. J. O’Rourke: “The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.”- THE LATEST POLLS: Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says, nearly two-thirds of Americans say they are concerned about an Ebola outbreak in the United States, and about the same amount say they want flight restrictions from the countries in West Africa where the disease has quickly spread.
THIS WEEK IN PATRONAGE COUNTY, Commissioners Pilfer, Filch, and Swindle were again breaking the Sunshine Law and were engaged in another illegal meeting where county business is being discussed. Meanwhile, The Blower brought you “Illegal Briefs” by James Jay Schifrin from The Whistleblower Archives. That op-ed column first appeared in the feisty Mt. Washington Press personally edited by eminently renowned publisher Dennis Nichols on July 20, 1983.- HURLEY THE HISTORIAN says on this date in 1796, an essay in the Gazette of the United States attacked presidential candidate Thomas Jefferson for having an affair with a black slave, and today, just to show you how far we’ve all come, anchor bimbos in the Obama media are still saying, “Take me, Mandingo!”
- MAYBE THAT’S WHY OUR QUOTE FOR TODAY COMMITTEE is still trying to find out if Jefferson ever said, “Once you go black you’ll never go back.”
MORE POLITICAL POETRY: It’s getting closer to Election Day, and we have another timely poem from Bunky Tadwell, the Bard of Cleves.
Trolley Folly Update
The streetcar project stumbles on
With the cost forever rising.
Understanding how council thinks
That fact is not surprising.
THE MUCK STOPS HERE: With Ohio still appealing Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns the Muck will still be flying during only 16 more days until the 2014 Midterm Election.
SEEDIEST KIDS OF ALL: Although our campaign is not associated with the Failed United Way, your liberal guilt giving throughout the year still makes it all possible. [READ MORE HERE]- WHISTLEBLOWER SENIOR BUSINESS EDITOR MERRILL FORBES says this week according to the Dissociated Press, the Stock Market needs to see a therapist: Temperamental, flighty, prone to violent mood swings, the market took investors on a wild ride this week. From one day to the next, even within a few hours, stocks swung from despair to optimism, deep losses to big gains.
THE FREE GRAIN PARTY still stands as the last refuge of anyone willing to help himself from the stores of others.
Free Grain Party Members include all DemocRATS, RINO Republicans, some TEA Partiers, quite a few Independents, disgruntled postal workers, senior citizens demanding free prescriptions, those who believe bigger government is the answer to all their problems, everybody who said “what Bill Clinton did was indefensible, but he shouldn’t be removed from office,” and those who think pork-barrel spending is OK as long as their district gets the money.
Unfortunately, that group probably doesn’t include all those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Supporters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice.
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FINALLY AT SATURDAY’S MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE AGENDA, Political Insiders were asking Beloved Whistleblower Publisher Charles Foster if The Blower would be publishing “Ebola Alerts” to calm the fears of all those scared witless by the Obama Administration’s incompetent handing on the Current Ebola Crisis, especially when Obama says Americans need to understand the facts and be guided by the same science we use to evaluate Global Warming.
“First,” Kane explained, “We have to tell all of the residents of Greater Cincinnati that there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. Didn’t Obama tell us you can’t get Ebola on a streetcar?”
IS IT COLLECTION TIME AGAIN?
Once again, it’s “Collection Time,” and this weekend your Neighborhood News Boy or Girl will be stopping by to collect $3.50 for delivery of this month’s Blower. The children retain half of this amount plus any tips you give them to reward good service.
This week we’re featuring Little Bobby Blevins who’s been living in a van down by the river in Newtown with his family ever since they ignored safety warnings and their Amazing Chabot Head decorated for the holidays caught fire, and incinerated their mobile home.
AND COMING UP IN “THE WEEK THAT WILL BE”:
Monday (October 20) we’ll be celebrating Lawyer Hunting Season in both Ohio and Kentucky while we’re continuing to count down the 824 Days of Dishonesty and Division for America remaining during the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached.- Tuesday (October 21) we’ll be trying to find out if Voters really understand how much those feel good tax increases they approve are really costing them and our “Real E-Mails from Real Subscribers” will be telling us why anybody who votes for a school tax hike is really stupid.
- Wednesday (October 22) is “National Nut Day,” and most of our readers will be scratching theirs.
- Thursday (October 23) is “TV Talk Show Host Day,” which just happens to be celebrated on Johnny Carson’s birth date.
- The first line of Friday’s (October 24) limerick is: “When you piss off a judge named Nick Nadel.”
- And Saturday (October 25) is “Make a Difference Day,” a day we never forget. Which is slightly different from Hillary’s “What Difference Does It Make Anyway Day.
Remember: We never print all the bad stuff we know and certain people ought to be damn glad we don’t, especially a “truly repentant” Pete Rose who is now giving odds he will get into Baseball’s Hall of Fame, as this Award Winning Illustration from Artis Conception clearly shows.
WEEK IN REVIEW HOT LINE
e-mail your revolutionary recaps today
Some political score-keeping items in today’s Blower were sent in by our equally political score-keeping subscribers, but let’s face it, we could always use a lot more.
Whistleblower Video of the Day
The Simpsons predicted US Ebola outbreak in 1997 Episode
(Published on Oct 9, 2014: How The Simpsons predicted US Ebola outbreak in 1997: Episode shows Marge offering a sick Bart children’s book ‘Curious George and the Ebola Virus’.
Note: We guarantee Blackberry subscribers who don’t go home and see links and pictures on their computers are not going to appreciate all of this good stuff today.
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