Monday, September 29, 2014
What Ordinary Americans Think About Their Future
Whistleblower Pollster Ron Rasmussen says Voters are pretty fed up with the cast of characters now on the national political stage. Just 22% consider Obama’s malaise presidency a success. Even Disgruntled DemocRATS think a campaign visit by the president to their state this fall is a bad idea for their party’s candidates. With Obama’s job approval rating hovering near -20, some inevitably wonder what if the last two presidential elections had turned out differently.
And in the 843 days during the duration of the Dark Ages of Obama’s Second Term, unless the First Black President in History is impeached, just think how much more divided and demoralized America could possibly be.
That’s why The Whistleblower rounded up some of our usual suspects. We found them at dawn still praying for a better world at a candle-light vigil around the Peace Pole in Anderson Township Sunday morning. We just had to find out how many of those Dumbed-Down, Self-Absorbed, Media-Influenced, Celebrity-Obsessed, Politically-Correct, Uninformed, Short-Attention-Span, Free-Stuff Grabbing, Low-Information Obama Voters Who Put Obama In The White House—Twice, had a clue about what was at stake for those all important 2014 Elections in only 36 more days.
MAMA MARUSKA, RETIRED HOMEMAKER: Tell Obama and both Houses of Congress this country is still headed inb the wrong direction, and things have gotten so bad, my children have been out of work for the past six years. They’ve all moved back home with me along with the grandchildren, and not a single one of those ingrates is even willing to clean up his own room.
PORKY DORKMAN, STUDENT: My teacher (who belongs to the union) said everybody in the class had to go home and tell our parents to vote for the Forrest Gump School District’s $103 million building bond issue on the November ballot that would increase everybody’s property taxes by hundreds and thousands of dollars, and to support the Common Core curriculum in our schools, regardless of what those crazy TEA Baggers would have you believe.
MARLENE MANDIBLE, TOTALLY UNEMPLOYABLE: As one of the record number of Americans in their prime working years who’ve become so discouraged that they left the labor force entirely during Obama’s so-called Recovery, I’d like one of those guys running for office this year to tell me when they’re going to give me some more free stuff, or do we have to wait for the 2016 Presidential Election for that?
NORMA RASHID, FORMER TV5 ANCHORWOMAN: If Republicans in Congress would only forget to investigate all of Obama’s and his Disingenuous DemocRATS’ many scandals, I could just sit home alone still waiting for Charlie to call, except every time I open the e-mail on my computer, it’s another message from Michelle Obama or some other DemocRAT celebrity telling me not to forget to donate another $5 for Alison Wondergam Grimes in Kentucky’s U.S. Senate Race in only 36 more days.
LINDA LIBEL, GOSSIP COLUMNIST: If Phil Bur-ass and Citizens for Community Values would only forget about their obsession against “Sodomy Rites,” The Blower would find more space to publish more about Southwest Ohio’s Most Embarrassing Elected Official in History Jerry Springer being the featured guest at Greg and Michele Young’s Indian Hill Mansion on Wednesday to campaign for the unknown DemocRATrunning against “Bronze Star Brad” on November 6, that’s if anybody can figure out how to pronounce the guy’s name.
JACK MEHOFF, USED SOLAR PANEL SALESMAN: Even if Ohio is now appealing Liberal Whacko Judge Tim Black’s ruling in favor of COAST’s Avaricious Attorney Chris Finney’s case to allow those same politicians the “Right to Lie” during political campaigns, those same politicians will be telling the same lies 24/7 during the only 36 more days until the 2014 Midterm Elections.
SUZIE SOCCERMOM, TEA PARTIER: For the second year in a row, Republican Texas Senator Ted Cruz won the Values Voter Summit presidential straw poll, because the GOP must nominate a Conservative for first time since Ronald Reagan. After electrifying the audience on Friday by urging them to never abandon Conservative values to see another morning in America, Cruz, the potential 2016 presidential contender, received 25% of the vote, while Dr. Ben Carson was second with 20%.
REVERUM CALHOUN, MINISTER: If Racist Republicans in Congress would only forget about “Impeaching Obama,” we could all be holding rallies demanding Obama pick another Black Attorney General to replace Eric Holder, or else we’ll be shooting cops and having more Ferguson-style Race Riots right here in Cincinnati.
LEROY WILLIAMS, STREET CORNER PHARMACIST: Not only is Black Republican Ohio Senate Candidate Charlie Windbag using Liz Rogers’ Failed Mahogany’s Restaurant to campaign for Black DemocRAT votes, he’s also pulling out all the stops pandering for votes from Loony Libertarians who believe smoking marijuana shouldn’t be a crime.
AWAN AFUQYA, MUSLIM SYMPATHIZER: Why didn’t we see any local coverage of Racebaiter #1 Al Sharpton’s appearance as the keynote speaker at CAIR’s 20th anniversary banquet on Saturday, since CAIR’s Board Chairwoman only lives in Erlanger? NewsBusters says Sharpton, who is Obama’s “go-to man on race,” and who claims to be helping the White House pick outgoing Attorney General Eric Holder’s successor, will be a guest of honor of the group, which was listed as a co-conspirator in a criminal case against an Islamic charity that raised millions for Hamas.
EMILY FRUMP, RETIRED CITY EMPLOYEE: If The Fishwrap would stop covering worthy projects for Diminutive DemocRAT Mayor John Cranley’s New Fun Czar and covering every item on “The Liberal Agenda” like Bikes for Dykes and Gay Homeless Teenagers, maybe our Extreme Liberal City Clown-cil that got themselves voted four-year terms to make it harder to get rid of them would stop wasting millions on that stupid streetcar and do something about my pension plan.
BUNKY TADWELL, THE BARD OF CLEVES: How’s this for my poem today?
Now that Republicans in Congress have stopped worrying about Balancing the Budget,
Over-taxed payers will be even deeper in debt.
And with Obama still in his sixth year,
You ain’t seen nothing yet.
SEEDY DIEHL, NORTHERN KENTUCKY HOMELESS GUY LIVING UNDER THE BRIDGE: Even though those bleeding heart do-gooders closed the area’s biggest shantytown under a U.S. 50 overpass just west of Downtown Cincinnati in Queensgate, I’m still enjoying these cool fall evenings dining al fresco and bedding down in my refrigerator box at the hobo camp while all you over-taxed payers pay my Medicaid expenses under the ObamaTax provisions.
CH SNITCH, 1000 MAIN STREET: Hamilton County RINO Party Boss Alex T., Mall Cop GOP is supposed to be keeping all of us party hacks busy campaigning for Republicans’ 2014 re-election campaigns, but these days everybody at the Court House will be waiting for word from Judge Nick Nadel’s courtroom to hear if Ditzy DemocRAT Juvie Judge Traci Hunter took the stand in her own behalf during her trial on all those felonies this week.
SID SCHLOCK, SLUMLORD: This Tuesday, I’ll be waiting to see how many of those deadbeats on welfare who live in my run-down property will be getting bussed down to the Hamilton County Board of Elections to be on TV standing outside in a long line waiting for Early DemocRAT Voter Fraud officially to begin.
KEN CAMBOO, NORTHERN KENTUCKY JOURNALIST: This Week, our Feckless Fishwrappers really outdid themselves celebrating the Jewish New Year by giving all that publicity to some Silly Anti-Semite NoKY Senate Candidate nobody ever heard of who stands on a street corner in Florence with his “With Jews We Lose” sign. Doesn’t that stupid “Schmuck” realize how few Jews live in Northern Kentucky, anyway?
TEA PARTY TIM: You can’t believe the almost total lack of interest in that League of Women Vipers Candidates Forum scheduled for October 7 between Returning 27th Ohio House District State Rep-Tile “TaxKiller Tom” Brinkman and his unnamed DemocRAT Opponent at the Anderson Center, especially if Feckless Fishwrap Editrix Wedgie Washburn bans the Pledge of Allegiance, as has been reported at other Politically Correct LWV Debates across the country.
EARL PITTS, TAXIDERMIST: Clermont County Officials will be getting some really great cooperation from the State of Ohio especially next year after the Clermont County Republican Party voted to take Governor Kasich-Taylor’s name off the sample ballot being mailed to all local GOP voters before the election and handed out by party hacks to voters at the polls on Election Day.
ED NORTON, CURRENTLY FURLOUGHED NORTHERN KENTUCKY SEWER WORKER: If Lame Duck DemocRAT Governor Steve Beshear would only stop wasting all his time sending out e-mails for Alison Wondergams Grimes asking if we got the e-mails he sent out the previous day, maybe AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka would let me get a part-time non-union job trying to do something about those sewage spills and stench plaguing that Louisville Mobile Home Park owned by Nathan “Cornbread” Smith.
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